Warnings: One for Rick and some for abused women

OOOPS! Rick made a no-no. Last night, at about 12:30, he started calling me and shouting. I didn’t listen long enough to hear what he was shouting, my hang up arm is Rick’s-voice activated. But, it sounded sort of like, “HOW...click”, “IF YOU...click”, “YOU B...click”, “MUMBLE....click”. You get the idea. I was rather tired and half asleep so it took a few minutes for me to remember that I could just hit *67 and block calls from unknown numbers. He should have just hung up if he wanted to harass me. That way, I couldn’t truthfull testify that it was him. I would have had to stew in my juices KNOWING it was him but unable to do anything about it. This is because of that great little document called a Restraining Order. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Rick. You violated it again.
I think he is behind two nasty emails but I can’t be sure so he will get away with those. I hope that gives him some kind of pleasure because he won’t be getting away with the phone calls. Of course, it is possible that the emails are from other wife abusing, angry little males (They certainly are not MEN) as they usually seem to relate and “feel” for each other. I learned that from what Rick would tell me about his anger management classes. He told me horrible stories that other angry little males told him, I won’t disclose them here since there are abused women at stake but suffice it to say, they understand each other and swap stories about their hideous wives. That’s what these angry little males do. They throw all kinds of “dirt” at the women and try to see if any of it sticks. How else could they defend their own behavior? They can’t just say, “You gave her a black eye, HIGH FIVE!” “Busted her lip again, GOOD JOB!” “Forced her to have sex with you? WAY TO GO DUDE!” So, they do what Rick is doing.
He is tossing some hideous allegations at me. I am a nurse and what do you do if you want to cause a nurse damage and at the same time, excuse your own violence? You tell everybody she is a drug addict. He also accused me of committing adultery with one Brian Delaney. Now, I have never heard of a Brian Delaney. I am sure there are at least a few, the name sounds common enough. But I don’t know any. I don’t have to defend myself here so I won’t, but I do want to speak a little to the women who might be being abused at this moment. If you realize you are being abused, GET OUT! Let me repeat that...GET OUT! Some women don’t realize they are being abused because abusers are like drug addicts, they must be master manipulators to continue with their behavior. So, if you end up getting physically hurt and he somehow makes you feel guilty about it, you are being abused. If he tells you, “You are doing this to yourself!”, he is DOING IT TO YOU! Listen, when Rick was messing around with Noreen, I knew he had someone but he kept denying it. During his affairs, he became very distant at best and contemptuous at worse. When I told him that his behavior was “driving me crazy”, he said, “You are doing it to yourself!” Two weeks later I found her love letter to him and he had to admit to the affair. Now, comes the violence. He would throw things at me and apologize profusely when they hit me. After all, he wasn’t aiming at my head when he whipped his car keys. This from a guy who can play baseball and throw a man out at home from far right field. But, I believed him! I wanted to. If he was aiming at my head, I would have had to admit that my husband didn’t love me and I wasn’t ready for that. Like I’ve said before, love isn’t blind, it is JUST PLAIN STUPID!
Have you ever apologized to HIM after being hit? You are being abused. Have you ever begged a man to stay after he has hit you? You are being abused. Are there, or has there ever been, holes in your walls from his fist? You are being abused. Does your phone get pulled out of the wall when a fight breaks out? You are being abused. Does he come home from work and start an argument so he can storm out of the house? You are being abused AND lied to. Do the police take him to jail only to have you go and visit him there? You are asking to be abused. You know, in abusive situations, you lose your perspective. So speak to someone you can trust and see what they say. Go to a support group and listen to the other women. Is your story similar? And don’t go in looking for the differences, “Oh, well my husband doesn’t actually beat me up, he only slaps me and throws me to the floor.” Look for the similarities (Do you see any in this paragraph?). If you can’t find a support group or can’t get to one, go online (at the local library if you have no computer) and look up abused women chat rooms. If you don’t know how, ask the librarian. You can tell your story anonymously and hear from the other women who have been there and are now only in the chat room to help YOU! Whatever you do, don’t blame yourself, there is never a reason to hit another person, or even a dog for that matter, unless of course it is in self defense. MEN walk away when they are angry, no matter what you did. They control themselves and just walk away. Angry little males cannot do that. They strike out. That is the difference between an angry little male and a real man. I shouldn't close this post without mentioning that there are also abused men. They are somewhat worse off because how do they tell someone that a women beat them up? This advice is for them as well.
So, Rick, you shouldn’t have called last night. I have a restraining order against you that specifically says that you cannot call me. And, you know, I doubt that the police will use the siren so go to the break room and look out the window. Or just sit back and wait to be greeted by the Sheriff's deputies. Maybe you like surprises, you seem to enjoy life on the edge.