mY KEYBOARD IS MSSED UP...THIS'LL BE SHORT!

This video is from the day when this blog was relatively young. Some of you may remember when I used to get men to do odd chores around the house on weekends. I would take pictures of them working in my house and then post them on the blog. I did it without them knowing but I always managed to get them in silhouette so they never knew a thing about my little workman slide show.

OK...so maybe I AM a bitch

I mentioned earlier I wanted to chat about liking yourself. Let me see if I can make my thoughts clear because this is important to me, and it should be important to anyone who can relate to what I'm talking about.

Let me start with a recollection of a conversation I had when I was in the Cuckoo's Nest. When the smokers had just gotten back from their smoke break, a guy I had become friends with came in and sat next to me. Another guy who didn't smoke asked my friend why he ever started smoking in the first place. Recalling my own experience, I answered quickly, "Peer pressure." The guy looked baffled and asked, "Your friends actually PRESSURED you to smoke?" I responded, "No, but when you see the kids you try to hang out with doing it, you do it too. No one ever really hides in a corner pushing smokes on kids." He understood that...it was the same reason he played football in high school when he didn't really enjoy it.

So, when you ask, "How can another person tell you that you're bad and make you think less of yourself?" Good question, but that's not how it happens. It happens not so much from the actions of the jerk. It happens because there is no one else to counteract his negativity or, at the very least, his lack of positivity.

This is why it's so important to like yourself. And, like it or not, you have to be around other people who like you to know how likable you are. The reasoning behind that is the fact that you can't even BE yourself around someone who doesn't like you because you're constantly trying to make things better. You don't even do that consciously, you do it one minute at a time to avoid a negative situation and before you know it, that's what you've become. Unfortunately, that steals the real you away so you couldn't possibly like yourself because you AREN'T yourself. People who like you free you to be yourself. Only then can you know who you are. And people who don't like you won't like you one way or another. Trying to keep the peace is nothing more than delaying the inevitable so just get the hell out now. The harder you try to make that person happy, the higher they set the bar and you spend your entire life trying to clear moving hurdles.

So, what does that have to do with me being a bitch? I don't know but it seems as though people like to use that word when discussing me. I don't know if I am a bitch or not, but I know I know how to be a bitch. I also know that labelling people is a detriment to no one but myself so I don't like to do that. Whatever I am, I like being free to be it. If people don't like me, that's fine, they can go find people they DO like. Just let me be free to be myself and then I'll end up surrounded by people who DO like me.

OK...maybe this will work:):):)

Before I forget, I need to say that there are two things I came here to analyze. One is the ability to like one's self and the satisfaction of being liked. The other is an interesting question I was asked recently, how does one break up with a guy? Now, barring some unforeseen Internet mishap, I shouldn't forget those two things. I lose so many great thoughts on my way to immortalize them that I could have written a new bible with everything I've forgotten. Oh well, maybe I should act like I'm important and get one of those things that you talk into and it remembers everything you say so that you can replay it later.

I had one once but I lost it. Well, I didn't actually lose it, I left it in a car. That's a very simple way to honestly tell you what happened to my recorder thingie. The entire truth is a WHOLE lot more embarrassing.

I had just finished a day of shooting on the movie Get Low with Sissy Spacek, Gerald MacCraney, Bill Murray and last but not least, the most talented and gracious man I've ever worked with, Robert Duvall. There are only so many really good crew people in the Atlanta area so you pretty much run into the same people a lot. I met an assistant director named Bob and we had spent a few moments on set flirting with each other during a few different movies. It was nothing tacky or serious, just one of those spontaneous relationships that like-witted people can strike up. We worked on quite a few movies together and when we did, we saw each other daily. One day he had offered me a ride home and I really needed one so I said yes. I never once thought about the mini-tapey thing in my purse. It was full of me and my granddaughter chatting and I don't even know why it was there to begin with.

At one point during the ride home, I accidentally spilt my purse on the floorboard in front of me. I put everything back and never thought about it again. That is of course, until I eventually went to get the min-tapey thing. It was gone. It took me a while, but eventually I remembered the ride home and realized, to my utter horror, that I had left the stupid thing in that guy's car. And...the only place it could have been was under the passenger seat. It occurred to me that when he did finally find it, he would think that I was trying to record his ass. Not a good thing in the movie business.

Shortly after that I left for Los Angeles and never saw him again. And with any luck at all, I never will.

Now that I've done that, I'm not in the mood to finish the things I came here for...but I will. Most likely at 4:20.

Guaranteed smile

Here's is a video that will evoke a smile on all but the most psychotic of individuals:



Now my tummy started hurting all of a sudden so I must go lie down, fart, take a nap or all of the above.

I remember what I wanted to talk about!

Dogs are wonderful creatures and I certainly am a dog-lover. I've been lucky to have obedient dogs my entire life. Once I was divorced, I had a great dog who was so bright and well-behaved that cops who trained dogs for a living were impressed by him.

But as well trained as that dog was, he was, of course, a dog. And dogs have certain inherent traits that came along well before man and dog became friends. One of those traits is that habit dogs have of chasing things that move quickly past them. They chase cars, motorcycles, other dogs and people who are either running or riding a bicycle near the dog. Dogs are genetically wired to chase fast moving objects/creatures because at one time, they had to do so to survive. They had to catch their own food so an innate need to run after things is inculcated into all dogs, even the dogs lucky enough to eat the fanciest, most high priced dog food available.

My dog, Payton, was people social, dog social and cat social. He was a very loving dog and until he got sick near the end of his life, he never harmed a soul. He did occasionally try to bolt during walks if a runner or a bike riding kid rode past him. Luckily, he never got away from me but I did learn about the dog and it's natural instinct to chase. When I went to read about that phenomenon, I encountered many articles where people did little but complain about the dog owners.

My ex used to bitch at other drivers when he was driving. He wasn't the type to slow down and let the crazy people go away...instead he said things to justify his own behavior like, "It's HIS fault!". Perhaps it would have been. And had that man killed himself trying to be a jerk on the road, I would have put his last words on his tombstone.

It seems that a lot of the people discussing the dogs were happy to simply blame it all on the owner. Once again, perhaps the owner is a jerk, but that won't help much when you're in hospital getting stitches and rabies shots. So, yeah, a lot of people are jerks and a lot of jerks own dogs. So, when a person is running near a dog, the runner should either slow down, turn a corner, or stop and rethink their next move. Also, kids with bikes should be taught that a dog will give chase when they see a fast moving bike so they, too, need to slow down or stop and let the dog walk away.

This morning I was sitting by the water with a dog. Luckily, that dog was on a leash so when a chick ran by us, I had control of the situation. You would think that she would have noticed the inclination of dogs to chase her after a few weeks of running and figure out a way to handle the situation. But all she did was run to the bridge and turn back to run past the same dog.

When I saw her coming for a third time, I decided that I would write a post about this so that any runners out there (or bike riders) will understand dogs a bit better, if you don't already. People can just sit there or whine about the irresponsible owners...or they can develop a self-preservation attitude that is mature, logical and potentially helpful in the future.

:):):)

Oh please...tell me what the heck this is!

Recently my daughter and I took her son to an arcade in LA. It was pretty cool because it was huge and it had a LOT of antique machines. Not all of them worked, but they were there. Those dudes on the History Channel who like to refurbish things would have a field day with these machines! Anyway, they also had new machines and every kind in between.

In my entire life, I've never put a dime (or a quarter) into a claw machine. But, for my grandson I tried...once. I couldn't bring myself to try it twice. But there was one of those machines that, for fifty cents, delivers and small toy in a clear plastic container. I figured, what the heck, for a two year old, even a cheap toy is a toy so I pumped two quarters into the machine and out popped a container with a "toy" in it. Here is that toy (notice the shadow my pinkie finger casts, I am old enough to remember being taught that, for some reason, ladies stick out their pinkie fingers when they use their hand and now it happens sub-consciously):

OK...need a different angle?

Or just another look without the pinkie?

OK then, is there anyone out there who knows what in the dickens this is? My grandson took it, looked at it, and then threw it onto the ground. If nothing else, they have discovered the only thing on this planet that a two year old will NOT put in his mouth.

There was something else that I wanted to talk about but I forget what it was. It'll come to me. In the mean time, here are a couple more beach shots from yesterday.

OK...now I have to stop for a bit because I just spent a half and hour trying to do something on this post and it never worked. I'm as irritated as I can be so I'll have to start over in a new post. See ya soon!

Here are a few half-assed pictures taken at the beach today...

 ...I spent most of my time staring at the water and thinking. I'll be telling you, one way or another, what I was thinking about over the next little bit.

Sometimes I just stood in the surf doing the same thing.

The other day as I was sitting on the canal wall feeding ducks, gulls, fish and turtles, I found this little sucker. I don't know what it is, but here ya go:

Uh oh, I'll be back again

Today I'm going here...

...and I'll be having fun. First I have to straighten the place a bit and then cook breakfast for a 93 year old man and then we're going to see how quickly we can get a sunburn. When I get back, I'll write a post about a couple of things I need to address.

So, I hope you all are enjoying your Saturday! I woke up and decided to pretend that I'm still alive and healthy enough to enjoy beauty...maybe you are too?

Blacklisted much?

Robtex has all kinds of info.

Most of us...

There's one who has yet to be born. I think the photographer stunk.

Necessary or Sufficient Causes

I started reading about Necessary and Sufficient Causes and decided that it was too involved to get into now so I have to wing it here. I heard the term in a discussion about my auras. Those are these odd feelings that I get occasionally, Sometimes they precede a seizure, but they aren't as reliable as Payton was. My "auras" also precede panic attacks and varied and sundry other neuro "incidents". I never know what's going on...at one point I didn't remember the aura at all because I didn't remember anything for an hour or so before the seizure. I remembered most of what occurs before a stroke, but I never remember the strokes at all. Nor do I remember the seizures so those aren't really anything to be afraid of. Of course, if you hurt yourself, that could be another story altogether. I do have some scars that I can't explain anymore than to say, "They happened during a seizure."

But generally, I don't remember too much. The auras are like feelings of impending doom, I have hallucinations, like auditory, olfactory and tactile. When I hear the voices, I generally say, "What?", because they always say my name. But as soon as they don't answer, I realize what it is...or isn't...and I go on about my day.

Anyway, the worst part is always coming out of whatever the most recent brain fart happens to be. I literally know nothing. I stare at the world around me and I have absolutely no clue what any of it means. I see paramedics talking but their words mean nothing to me. I'm frightened, usually well into the grip of the physiology of the Fight or Flight Syndrome. Even so, I can't formulate a plan because as I said, I know NUTEENG! I watch the people speaking to me and when a stupid one tried to get really close to me once, I literally balled up my fists but, lucky for her, I had no clue what to do with them.

Sometimes I just wake up on the floor, looking up at someone looking down at me. I say, "It happened again." They say, "Yeah.", and I go about my business.

One rotten way to come around is to do so without the ability to think of words. How strange the mind is! Sometimes I have no words but I know that I should know them. Other times, I can think the word in my head but I can't make my mouth say it. I remember trying to ask for a cup one morning when I wanted to have some coffee. My brain could say cup just like yours. Until I opened my mouth, there was no difference between your brain and mine. But, when I tried to say the word, I absolutely could not do it.

Now I'm freaking me out. I need to check out a picture for you guys...BRB

Hi...I'm at the following page...

...exercising my brain. I'll be back in a flash, I was recently rescued from a weird YouTube trip where I ended up watching Mike Tyson brutally win fight after fight, memorial clips for dead babies and even one amazing video of the yuckiest stuff being suctioned out of some poor schmuck's sinuses. When I found myself watching a surgical excision of a HUGE blackhead, my phone rang. Anyway, I hung up and went to search for a specific logic question...you know the ones that say something like:

Some birds are green.
All green birds are parakeets.
Are all birds parakeets?

I never did find the name of that type of question, if you know I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me know in the comments. But, I did find some interesting websites with other logic questions like this one:

http://www.folj.com/puzzles/difficult-logic-problems.htm

So, I'm going back there before a half human half squid video pops up on my YouTube Welcome page. Then, I'll be back. it won't be long, I promise.

:):):)

OK...I'm back. I got a few of those questions but then they started making me feel stupid so it was time to come back here.

I see our President is having some issues lately. I don't understand why people are all shocked and dismayed, we elected a man from Chicago. Duh. I'm from Chicago and when we elect our corrupt politicians, we know what we're doing. Mayor Daley (the first one) was as crooked as Stephen Hawking's spine. But I'll tell you this, he got things done. I'll never forget his blatantly honest answer when questioned regarding accusations of nepotism and some other similar malfeasance's...to paraphrase the mayor, of course I hired family and friends, wouldn't you?

There are a few things every single person from Chicago knows, the phone number to Empire Carpets is 588-2300 and Jene and Jude's makes the world greatest hot dog. It looks like this:

...BTW, you should know that you will be assaulted if you ask for ketchup at Jene and Jude's. I don't want ketchup for the hot dog, it's perfect the way it is. But they also serve those wonderful freshly made french fries and I MUST have ketchup for them. The nearby Cock Robin ice cream shack had a brilliant idea, they started selling little packets of ketchup for a nickel. I never failed to stop there for my ketchup after I bought those great french fries.

Anyway, another thing we all know is that our politicians are crooked. So, when you hear that there's s acndal brewing in the White House, consider this fun fact, four out of our last seven governors are in prison.

I have to lie down for a bit, I'm having another "aura". That means I need to pop myself a xanax and lie down until it works or I have a seizure. With any luck at all, I'll be back in a bit!

Questions asked by living attorney's...well mostly

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

____________________________...___

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

_________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget..

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.

___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Getting laid

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death..

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.

___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral...

_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________

And last:



ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No..

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

This could only come from Down-Under

A NORTHERN Territory minister has come under fire on Facebook after bizarrely weighing in on Angelina Jolie's double mastectomy. Country Liberal Party member and MP for Katherine, Willem Rudolf Westra van Holthe sparked a flurry of angry Facebook responses...

Now...why on Earth would a guy be "under fire" for speaking the truth? His point was an excellent one, many others suffer quietly every day, everywhere and from every status level on this planet. I survived cancer twice, I never thought it was heroic, all I did was try to survive. I think most people would have done the same. If I could have had a planned procedure to prevent ever getting cancer, I would have done it happily. And yeah, I would have had the titties chopped off in a heartbeat. The only difference is that I can't afford the best boobie surgeons in the world. So, if self-preservation is heroic, then God bless every spider that spins a web, every big cat that kills a fawn and every shark that chows down on people. Not that self-preservation can't be heroic, the 3 young ladies in Cleveland has taught us that. But surgery in the South of France isn't quite the same thing.

Only those from La-La-Land can think that their "suffering" is any more painful than that of those who can't afford to find a place to live...or die...when they need it the most. And these people conduct their lives with decency and by the social laws that they can't afford to dismiss when their hormones call for a thoughtless scratching of an itch that must be satiated. Most people try to respect others and when faced with decisions, they try to choose the decisions that would least affect any innocents. Jolie has chosen the path of least resistance, of most pleasure for her and very little that didn't ruin lives along the way at every possible turn.

When she does do something perceived as "heroic", it's difficult to refrain from distrusting her motives. It's not too tough to go buy a starving kid here or there, but it takes time, effort and true compassion to use your resources to fund a center that allows people to accomplish things without the ever-present worry of survival. All they do every day IS survive and that takes a lot for us with much more than they have, how difficult must it be to have no control over the necessities of life while trying to better your circumstances?

Jolie's Princess Diana impersonation has one vital flaw...she lacks all perception of sincerity and I don't see how she could ever get it back...boobs or no boobs.




Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health-fitness/nt-minister-willem-westra-van-holthe-calls-pitt-pathetic-for-praising-jolies-heroic-mastectomy/story-fneuzlbd-1226642910760#ixzz2TN0aAIBs

I finally got SOME pictures...

...They aren't the best in the world, but he certainly is!

I have some files from my daughter of Joaquin and I playing with his cars but apparently our formats don't match. Is it possible that I could forward the email to someone out there and have it posted using another format?