GUESS WHAT!?!?

Tonight I was behind a cop chase! It was basically an OJ cop chase, but that's good because if it was any faster I wouldn't have been able to watch the entire thing.

Cheek dude asked me to come to his place tonight and since he is the absolute best guy I've met since Rick, I agreed. He lives about 15 miles from me and this is our 5th date. He's driven every other time so I didn't mind going to his place one little bit.

I had to go to the bank and it was on the way to his place so that worked out well. After that, my entire trip went to hell. I know how to get to the bank. But when I turned out, I went the wrong way. I knew it immediately so I turned into a pharmacy and drove up to the drive thru window to ask which way to turn to get back to the street that I turned off of to get to the bank. The pharmacist wasn't American, I think she was German. Whatever that accent was, I couldn't understand a word she was saying. All I wanted to know was right or left...how hard is that?

Eventually she just got someone else who was so fricking stupid...or else she thought that I was an idiot because she decided to WRITE THE DIRECTIONS DOWN! I sat there waiting at a drive thru window watching this chick write crap down and I didn't know what she was writing. I didn't know why this was so hard. I didn't know why this was happening.

So, she gave me the directions and I read the only one that I needed...Turn left out of the parking lot.

Then, I drove on back to Canton Highway. In Chicago, the streets don't change names and there's only one of each of them. Grand Avenue starts in Chicago at Lake Michigan and it stays Grand Avenue for 50 miles that I'm aware of. Furthermore, there isn't more than one Grand Avenue.

But, for some idiotic reason, down in the south, the streets change names every 3 miles. It's in the constitutions of states south of the Mason-Dixon Line. So I turned right on Canton Road which was Church Road when I got on it. As I did, I realized that I didn't pass my office so I couldn't have gone far enough. I turned around and went back to the first street to turn right and keep going. Then I saw Canton Road again only this time it was the Canton Road Conn. Around here Conn. means connector. That would imply that it would be connecting me to Canton Road at some point. It didn't. I had to go back and turn down the SAME Canton Road that I turned off of.

I finally got back on the right Canton Road and I couldn't BELIEVE what I had just been through. Those little fake Canton Road escapades added a half an hour to a drive that should have been less than 30 minutes. Anyway, I finally got back on the right road.

I came to a stop light and as I stopped, I barely passed a Cobb County Sheriff's car. I noticed the Dunkin Donuts across the street and thought, "I should catch his eye and point to that Dunkin Donuts." Right about then the light turned green and I started to go. I hadn't gone 5 feet when I saw red and blue lights.

I immediately thought to myself, "They're gonna bust me for THINKING that?"

I quickly saw that they didn't want me, they wanted some guy in front of the cop. The fool kept going and I didn't know why. At one point he put on his directionals and I figured he was going to pull over to the right and stop but he never did. The yahoo kept driving for miles and he was going in the same direction that I needed to go so I had to follow them. There were a few other cars back with me about 250 yards behind the cops and the nut in the car.

I was a little freaked because I had no idea what was about to happen. But the guy didn't break one traffic law the entire time, he just wouldn't stop. He used his directionals and drove the speed limit the entire time. He was the most polite driver out there. Anyway, I started to get upset and at one point I actually thought that I was going to cry. It occurred to me that it probably wouldn't help matters if I messed up my mascara so I refrained from tearing up.

Eventually the guy did stop and when he did, we all gave him and the cops wide girth around in case anybody decided to start shooting bullets. I have the kind of luck that would get me shot at so I was sort of hunkered down a bit as I passed them.

I got back in control of myself and as soon as I did, cop cars started coming from everywhere. It was awful.

By the time the ordeal was over, I almost missed my turn but I didn't. Then I found the right street but I couldn't find the right place. I got out of the car at one point but it wasn't right at all. I had such confidence in my abilities that I purposely left the directions at home thinking, "I have it in my head...and God knows I'm smart." Duh.

I got back in the car and kept driving. When I got to the end, I just put it in park and laughed for a couple of minutes. Then I drove back and as I did, I saw him standing outside.

Ta da.

We went out to Steak and Shake and I had steakburger and a shake. Then we went back to his place and watched a movie. This guy's house is actually decorated better than mine is. That's not right but it is impressive. So is he.

I'm home now and I have to go to bed. I just wanted to tell you about my exciting night.

:)