A NIGHT OUT, FINALLY!!!!
Well, I went out tonight!!!! It was the first time in, well, I don’t remember when!!! But, I must say, it was a bit of an ego boost. I was playing pool as my son and his friend played Trivia (naturally, they kept coming to the old lady to get the correct answers). I was enjoying myself sinking some hard shots when a few guys, obviously much younger than I, came up and challenged my table. Well, technically it was a challenge, but speaking realistically, those little boys haven’t been around planet earth long enough to have the talent to beat me.
I wiped the place up with them. They were far too young to get very angry at a grandmother like myself, but they were none too pleased. I got quite a kick out of that. The bad part of the evening was playing defense. Jeez...can’t a woman go into a bar and relax without being inundated with lines such as this one...a guy came up to me...licked his finger...wiped it on my shoulder and said, “Let’s go get out of these wet clothes!” Help me Rhonda.
The worst part of the evening was when I was in the batter’s box, you know, the thing where you put on a hat and go into a cage and hit balls slung at you by a machine. I stood at “home base”, waiting patiently to swing away. Well, one of those balls hit me on the left, middle finger knuckle. I am sure my hand is broken. Oh well. Maybe now the little boys can beat me on the pool table.
One guy that hit on me was so young looking, I had to ask him his age. He was 22 years old!!!! I am a grandmother! What on earth was he thinking??? Can someone explain it to me? My son’s friend said that I should go for it. I was quite insulted. I asked him why and he responded, “Can you imagine what a thrill it would be for him?” I was flabbergasted. Why on earth would I go for that? My youngest child will be 23 this month. I couldn’t imagine taking someone ELSE’S child up on that offer. He IS legal, but what’s in it for me? I am looking for someone who would be a treat for me, not the other way around...I DON’T CARE WHAT DEMI MOORE SAYS! I prefer a man to a boy...8 days a week. 22 year olds were no fun when I WAS 22, I certainly have no use for them at this point in my life. No offense to young men, I just prefer a man who has a bit of staying power. Usually, men closer to my age have it. Rick is the exception to that rule. He rarely lasted more than 3 minutes.
And, I’ll be darned if I am going to waste it on a novice.
Well, it is late and I am going to go to bed, alone again...naturally.:(
And that, people, is a crying shame.
Well, I went out tonight!!!! It was the first time in, well, I don’t remember when!!! But, I must say, it was a bit of an ego boost. I was playing pool as my son and his friend played Trivia (naturally, they kept coming to the old lady to get the correct answers). I was enjoying myself sinking some hard shots when a few guys, obviously much younger than I, came up and challenged my table. Well, technically it was a challenge, but speaking realistically, those little boys haven’t been around planet earth long enough to have the talent to beat me.
I wiped the place up with them. They were far too young to get very angry at a grandmother like myself, but they were none too pleased. I got quite a kick out of that. The bad part of the evening was playing defense. Jeez...can’t a woman go into a bar and relax without being inundated with lines such as this one...a guy came up to me...licked his finger...wiped it on my shoulder and said, “Let’s go get out of these wet clothes!” Help me Rhonda.
The worst part of the evening was when I was in the batter’s box, you know, the thing where you put on a hat and go into a cage and hit balls slung at you by a machine. I stood at “home base”, waiting patiently to swing away. Well, one of those balls hit me on the left, middle finger knuckle. I am sure my hand is broken. Oh well. Maybe now the little boys can beat me on the pool table.
One guy that hit on me was so young looking, I had to ask him his age. He was 22 years old!!!! I am a grandmother! What on earth was he thinking??? Can someone explain it to me? My son’s friend said that I should go for it. I was quite insulted. I asked him why and he responded, “Can you imagine what a thrill it would be for him?” I was flabbergasted. Why on earth would I go for that? My youngest child will be 23 this month. I couldn’t imagine taking someone ELSE’S child up on that offer. He IS legal, but what’s in it for me? I am looking for someone who would be a treat for me, not the other way around...I DON’T CARE WHAT DEMI MOORE SAYS! I prefer a man to a boy...8 days a week. 22 year olds were no fun when I WAS 22, I certainly have no use for them at this point in my life. No offense to young men, I just prefer a man who has a bit of staying power. Usually, men closer to my age have it. Rick is the exception to that rule. He rarely lasted more than 3 minutes.
And, I’ll be darned if I am going to waste it on a novice.
Well, it is late and I am going to go to bed, alone again...naturally.:(
And that, people, is a crying shame.
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:42 PM
6 Comments:
Hi Meg
I think you are a great writer and wanted to share this link with you and all your readers. It's about the male psyche. http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-sermons/scum.html
Good luck
Meg, Your writing is rich, touching, funny and human. Love my visits to your blog. In many ways even better than reading Jill Conner Browne. Thanks for sharing and may your dreams find you. -Marc
Marc,
How kind of you! I hope you keep coming back!
Meg
Wow. Someone posted the Society For Cutting Up Men manifesto? I haven't read THAT since I was 13.
I wouldn't take it too seriously. Valerie Solanas was kind of crazy and did shoot Andy Warhol.
Your blog is very interesting. As an active feminist I encourage women to get out of these relationships but most won't. I am glad you found a way out.
What is an "active feminist?"
Ok, I realize that we come at this from two different angles...so this comment is probably meaningless...but let me try. I think you should have rounded up all those younguns and plowed thru 'em.
First of all, you can never tell just what you might find out there lurking under cover of youngness. Maybe one of those guys could keep your eyes rolled back in your head for hours. (Of course, who wants to look at the inside of their skull...but you take my meaning...)
Secondly, I'VE always liked 22 year old girls...can the boys be much different? Well, of course they are different...but you don't have to talk to them...well, except for "NEXT!!"
Third, and I'm surprised that you let THIS one by you, is the internet income. I would have been happy to set up a website for you...MEG'S NIGHT OUT...
...there you'd be, splayed out on a pool table, your "tightness" displayed for all to see (MUSLIMS, YOU PAYING ATTENTION? THIS IS A WOMAN!!) The floor would be "littered" with those who tried and failed to make it past the three minute mark...and there would be a long line of nikked younguns looking all sweaty and nervous. And, HEY, think of THIS...maybe we could get Rick to fluff for you. I'd even pay to see THIS.
I dunno...I think you missed an opportunity...ahem...
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