Good morning!
My son stopped by and brought me a few things that I needed which was very nice of him. He sort of did it wrong but I can't complain because he didn't have to do it in the first place. He bought me some coffee but he got French Vanilla flavored coffee because it was on sale. I don't want to appear ungrateful (I'm not) so I'm drinking it. As they say, "beggers can't be choosers". (Did I do that right? It doesn't look right.)
I don't know why, but I slept until 1 PM. I never sleep that late, even before I went to the pokey and learned how to wake up every two hours. I missed quite a bit being locked up...I didn't know that Barney Fife had passed away until I got out. That's too bad. I guess he had to go sometime, but I am a huge fan of Barney and I was saddened to hear that. I would have loved to have been locked up by Barney. He was so sweet to bring the prisoners the woodworking set and the Mr. Potato Head. My jailers never brought me anything except a piece of paper that said I was being held for another jurisdiction because of the court date I missed while I was locked up. That wasn't any fun at all. Also, I wished that Aunt Bea would walk in with a basket full of fried chicken or some such southern dish.
Oh, speaking of southern dishes, I still have never eaten a grit. They tried to get me to, but I have not, nor will I, ever eat a grit. Another little southern tidbit that they tried to make me eat was boiled weed. I don't know what kind of weed it was, but it was most certainly a weed. I won't eat weed. Perhaps if I had boiled weed and eaten it instead of preparing it in the way that I had, I wouldn't have been there, but that doesn't mean I want to eat boiled weed. I can't imagine how hungry a person would have to be before they'd eat weeds. Personally, I have yet to be that hungry.
I didn't have an appetite while I was there, I usually don't. But one day, I actually did get a bit hungry. I was pleased because that's a good thing and I'd love to gain some weight. I waited for dinner that night thinking that I would be able to eat. But when they brought the breaded fried meat by product du jour, I lost my appetite again. I couldn't do it. My fellow criminals were ready to sweep down upon my tray and take whatever I didn't want and that night they were very lucky, I couldn't even take the obligatory bite of the crud that I usually took before I said, "Nope, can't do it."
Like I said before, Bartow had better food than Cobb, much, much better. It wasn't quite the cuisine that I'm accustomed to, but it was so much better than Cobb's crap that I was able to eat most of it. I must say that I was impressed with the way that they took lunch and recycled it into dinner. One day we had prison sloppy joes (with beans in it!) for lunch and then, for dinner, they took the leftover slop and added macaroni to it and served it as some type of jailhouse mush.
I missed you guys while I was there and thought about you often. When they brought me their hideous slop, I would think, "I can't wait to tell my blog people about THIS!"
There was one evening that I was in a particularly good mood. It was early in my stay and before I thought that I would be there for as long as I was. I had decided to think of my stay as a sociological study and make the best of it. I watched my fellow crooks and wondered what they could have done to get themselves into the predicament that they were in. I was amazed at the numbers of criminally poor people who were locked up for non payment of fines.
But, if there was one thing that truly amazed me, it was the number of people who were locked up for meth...I don't know what meth is, I know it's some sort of drug, but it was absolutely stunning how many people were locked up because of it. I would ask people what they were there for and the overwhelming majority answered, "Meth." Whatever it is, it's a dreadful thing and if you ever hear of your children doing such a thing, get them help immediately, it can't be a good thing. The lady who accused me of doing meth when I was having chest pains apparently said that because of how emaciated I was so it must make people lose weight. But, all of the people who said they were locked up because of it weren't really all that thin so I'm not sure if all meth users are thin, apparently not.
There was one chick there, Anna Nicole, who had been arrested at one time for armed robbery and aggravated assault upon a police officer. The person she armed robbed was a guy who she had met one night and they ended up doing drugs togther. They did all of her drugs because he promised to go to his ATM and get more cash for drugs when they ran out. Well, he lied. They were in his car and when she realized that he was "dicking her around" about the cash, she pulled out a knife and held it to his neck. Somehow, the cops ended up behind her and they jumped out of the car and took off in different directions. She thought that she had put the car in park but she had actually left it in gear. The cops took off chasing them and the car she was driving moved backwards and hit the squad car. That was the aggravated assault upon a police officer. I was sort of blown away that the knife and the car thing only got her probation. Hell, I got probation and I never hurt a soul.
Apparently, your sentence has a lot to do with the county that you're in, She was in Fulton County at that time, the county that Atlanta is in. So, if you commit a crime in a large place with many, many criminals, they don't really have the space to house you. If there's one thing that I learned from my experience, it's that one should always do their homework before committing a crime.
Are you in a county that has major league over crowded jails? Are you in a county that serves boiled weed? Is the local sheriff a sadistic jack ass? Is there a man named Dr. Hendricks in charge of the medical facilities? These are some mighty important questions to ask yourself before you go doing anything stupid. Oh, you might want to see if they have a television available. We didn't. Bartow did, but not in the cell they kept me in. I missed the ENTIRE winter Olympics.
I don't watch televsion very often, I'd rather sit at my desk and write than watch TV most of the time. But it's nice to have it there just in case I get a sore behind from sitting at my desk for so long. That's another thing that's no fun in prison. There isn't a cushioned seat in the place. I don't have much of an ass in the first place so I don't come with any padding. I need a bit of a cushion when I sit down. The chairs are all Waffle House plastic and the bunks are stainless steel metal and you get a ripped up, shredded pad that isn't more than two inches thick at the thickest part of it. So, unless you have a backside with a bit of meat on it, you would do well to stay out of jail.
OK, I'm going to go and find something to clean, if I go to jail again this week, I'd like to come home to a clean house.
See ya,
Meg
email me at megbkelso@gmail.com
My son stopped by and brought me a few things that I needed which was very nice of him. He sort of did it wrong but I can't complain because he didn't have to do it in the first place. He bought me some coffee but he got French Vanilla flavored coffee because it was on sale. I don't want to appear ungrateful (I'm not) so I'm drinking it. As they say, "beggers can't be choosers". (Did I do that right? It doesn't look right.)
I don't know why, but I slept until 1 PM. I never sleep that late, even before I went to the pokey and learned how to wake up every two hours. I missed quite a bit being locked up...I didn't know that Barney Fife had passed away until I got out. That's too bad. I guess he had to go sometime, but I am a huge fan of Barney and I was saddened to hear that. I would have loved to have been locked up by Barney. He was so sweet to bring the prisoners the woodworking set and the Mr. Potato Head. My jailers never brought me anything except a piece of paper that said I was being held for another jurisdiction because of the court date I missed while I was locked up. That wasn't any fun at all. Also, I wished that Aunt Bea would walk in with a basket full of fried chicken or some such southern dish.
Oh, speaking of southern dishes, I still have never eaten a grit. They tried to get me to, but I have not, nor will I, ever eat a grit. Another little southern tidbit that they tried to make me eat was boiled weed. I don't know what kind of weed it was, but it was most certainly a weed. I won't eat weed. Perhaps if I had boiled weed and eaten it instead of preparing it in the way that I had, I wouldn't have been there, but that doesn't mean I want to eat boiled weed. I can't imagine how hungry a person would have to be before they'd eat weeds. Personally, I have yet to be that hungry.
I didn't have an appetite while I was there, I usually don't. But one day, I actually did get a bit hungry. I was pleased because that's a good thing and I'd love to gain some weight. I waited for dinner that night thinking that I would be able to eat. But when they brought the breaded fried meat by product du jour, I lost my appetite again. I couldn't do it. My fellow criminals were ready to sweep down upon my tray and take whatever I didn't want and that night they were very lucky, I couldn't even take the obligatory bite of the crud that I usually took before I said, "Nope, can't do it."
Like I said before, Bartow had better food than Cobb, much, much better. It wasn't quite the cuisine that I'm accustomed to, but it was so much better than Cobb's crap that I was able to eat most of it. I must say that I was impressed with the way that they took lunch and recycled it into dinner. One day we had prison sloppy joes (with beans in it!) for lunch and then, for dinner, they took the leftover slop and added macaroni to it and served it as some type of jailhouse mush.
I missed you guys while I was there and thought about you often. When they brought me their hideous slop, I would think, "I can't wait to tell my blog people about THIS!"
There was one evening that I was in a particularly good mood. It was early in my stay and before I thought that I would be there for as long as I was. I had decided to think of my stay as a sociological study and make the best of it. I watched my fellow crooks and wondered what they could have done to get themselves into the predicament that they were in. I was amazed at the numbers of criminally poor people who were locked up for non payment of fines.
But, if there was one thing that truly amazed me, it was the number of people who were locked up for meth...I don't know what meth is, I know it's some sort of drug, but it was absolutely stunning how many people were locked up because of it. I would ask people what they were there for and the overwhelming majority answered, "Meth." Whatever it is, it's a dreadful thing and if you ever hear of your children doing such a thing, get them help immediately, it can't be a good thing. The lady who accused me of doing meth when I was having chest pains apparently said that because of how emaciated I was so it must make people lose weight. But, all of the people who said they were locked up because of it weren't really all that thin so I'm not sure if all meth users are thin, apparently not.
There was one chick there, Anna Nicole, who had been arrested at one time for armed robbery and aggravated assault upon a police officer. The person she armed robbed was a guy who she had met one night and they ended up doing drugs togther. They did all of her drugs because he promised to go to his ATM and get more cash for drugs when they ran out. Well, he lied. They were in his car and when she realized that he was "dicking her around" about the cash, she pulled out a knife and held it to his neck. Somehow, the cops ended up behind her and they jumped out of the car and took off in different directions. She thought that she had put the car in park but she had actually left it in gear. The cops took off chasing them and the car she was driving moved backwards and hit the squad car. That was the aggravated assault upon a police officer. I was sort of blown away that the knife and the car thing only got her probation. Hell, I got probation and I never hurt a soul.
Apparently, your sentence has a lot to do with the county that you're in, She was in Fulton County at that time, the county that Atlanta is in. So, if you commit a crime in a large place with many, many criminals, they don't really have the space to house you. If there's one thing that I learned from my experience, it's that one should always do their homework before committing a crime.
Are you in a county that has major league over crowded jails? Are you in a county that serves boiled weed? Is the local sheriff a sadistic jack ass? Is there a man named Dr. Hendricks in charge of the medical facilities? These are some mighty important questions to ask yourself before you go doing anything stupid. Oh, you might want to see if they have a television available. We didn't. Bartow did, but not in the cell they kept me in. I missed the ENTIRE winter Olympics.
I don't watch televsion very often, I'd rather sit at my desk and write than watch TV most of the time. But it's nice to have it there just in case I get a sore behind from sitting at my desk for so long. That's another thing that's no fun in prison. There isn't a cushioned seat in the place. I don't have much of an ass in the first place so I don't come with any padding. I need a bit of a cushion when I sit down. The chairs are all Waffle House plastic and the bunks are stainless steel metal and you get a ripped up, shredded pad that isn't more than two inches thick at the thickest part of it. So, unless you have a backside with a bit of meat on it, you would do well to stay out of jail.
OK, I'm going to go and find something to clean, if I go to jail again this week, I'd like to come home to a clean house.
See ya,
Meg
email me at megbkelso@gmail.com
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:16 AM
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