Good morning!
After I wrote about the magazine article that told what you could tell about a person by what they drink, I started thinking. I wondered what you could tell about a person by what dance they know the best. I like to dance and I just sort of free style it although during disco I did do the Hustle and a few other standards. But I do a lot of watching, especially of line dances. I don’t do them, I generally have a date. But I watch them and the people who participate in them. Actually, I’ve been around long enough to watch a lot of different dancing and I have come up with the following observations.
I might as well start with line dancing. Line dancing people are very jovial. They tend to wear an inordinate amount of cowboy hats but that certainly isn’t mandatory. The women are very outgoing and they tend to hang out in packs. You could sit at a table of line dancers and have a lot of fun, and be accepted right into their little party. They are people that love long and hard but I wouldn’t trust them, at least not the men. I bet the women are pretty loyal but there is always a contingent of consistently available women in every line. They are like the chick who stole John Travolta from Sissy in Urban Cowboy. (I hesitate to add the Electric Slide into this category because so many people are forced to perform it at wedding receptions. But...if you do it when you don't have to, that's a line dancer.)
Flat footers are family reunion people. At least twice a year, once for each side of the family (that is if their families don’t branch off more than that), they get together for a good old fashioned pot luck picnic-type family gathering. They drink Jack Daniels and Budweiser and they will give you the shirts off their backs. They ride in a lot of pick up trucks and fish more than line dancers do. They are truly loyal to their spouse, even after the divorce. They oftentimes still sleep with their ex’s. The women ALL have long hair and tend to teaste it like it's 1966 and the men have quite a few beards. They usually have some unique home fashioned heating system in their homes. More often than not, they have moonshine somewhere in their house.
People who still do the Hustle are kind of sad. The men who have lost their hair have usually done something embarrassing to replace it. The women wear clothing that is made for women 20 years younger than they are. They wear a lot of make up and have a lot of substance abuse issues lurking in their closets. The men and women both seem to have a lot of casual sexual encounters...but they aren’t really loose, they are just kind of stuck in the 70’s and haven’t let the full impact of AIDS enter their minds. The men are Type A personalities and they are more confident than they have a right to be.
People who do the Tango are a little different. They drink exotic drinks and tend to overdress and brag a lot. They have nice homes and nice cars, but they can be rather superficial while at the same time think themselves quite the romantics. I can’t get the picture of Gomez and Morticia out of my head now so I have to leave the Tango dancers alone...just to be fair.
Two steppers are definitely Budweiser drinkers. As a matter of fact, two stepping men named Bob say things like, “I’m Bob, Bud Outuva Bottle...Bob.” Most of your hard core rednecks fall into this category but some of them are just good ol’ folk who know how to have a good time. They are usually a bit older but some young people do tend to appreciate a good two step now and then. Two steppers drive a better class of pick up truck than flat footers but they do ride in pick up trucks. They listen to a lot of southern rock and truly enjoy a good barbeque more than most. They play softball and watch Nascar. There are a lot of number 3’s on their vehicles in honor of Dale Earnheart. They are somewhat political and are very upset over the Confederate Flag issue.
Free style dancers are fun people but they tend to prefer actually HAVING fun than planning for it so they don’t bother learning any special dances. They are the type that usually need a few beers under their belts before they can really get going. The men usually do some version of the white man’s pony (which is what I call that side to side, finger snapping thing that they do). The woman can in explicably spin, it doesn’t really fit in with the rest of what they are doing but spin they will. The men even spin for no reason on occasion as well. At times, they will grab hands and do what parts of the jitterbug they remember and the man will attempt to dip the woman. Since he never took lessons, he doesn’t know how to signal the woman that she is about to be dipped and he doesn’t know about supporting her back so many of the woman just fall.
There are other types of dances that I could mention but I have to go to the attorney’s office this morning. Isn’t that fun? I suppose these jeans and Cubs t-shirt won’t do so I should go change into something a tad more presentable. Have a good day and I will see you later.
Meg
After I wrote about the magazine article that told what you could tell about a person by what they drink, I started thinking. I wondered what you could tell about a person by what dance they know the best. I like to dance and I just sort of free style it although during disco I did do the Hustle and a few other standards. But I do a lot of watching, especially of line dances. I don’t do them, I generally have a date. But I watch them and the people who participate in them. Actually, I’ve been around long enough to watch a lot of different dancing and I have come up with the following observations.
I might as well start with line dancing. Line dancing people are very jovial. They tend to wear an inordinate amount of cowboy hats but that certainly isn’t mandatory. The women are very outgoing and they tend to hang out in packs. You could sit at a table of line dancers and have a lot of fun, and be accepted right into their little party. They are people that love long and hard but I wouldn’t trust them, at least not the men. I bet the women are pretty loyal but there is always a contingent of consistently available women in every line. They are like the chick who stole John Travolta from Sissy in Urban Cowboy. (I hesitate to add the Electric Slide into this category because so many people are forced to perform it at wedding receptions. But...if you do it when you don't have to, that's a line dancer.)
Flat footers are family reunion people. At least twice a year, once for each side of the family (that is if their families don’t branch off more than that), they get together for a good old fashioned pot luck picnic-type family gathering. They drink Jack Daniels and Budweiser and they will give you the shirts off their backs. They ride in a lot of pick up trucks and fish more than line dancers do. They are truly loyal to their spouse, even after the divorce. They oftentimes still sleep with their ex’s. The women ALL have long hair and tend to teaste it like it's 1966 and the men have quite a few beards. They usually have some unique home fashioned heating system in their homes. More often than not, they have moonshine somewhere in their house.
People who still do the Hustle are kind of sad. The men who have lost their hair have usually done something embarrassing to replace it. The women wear clothing that is made for women 20 years younger than they are. They wear a lot of make up and have a lot of substance abuse issues lurking in their closets. The men and women both seem to have a lot of casual sexual encounters...but they aren’t really loose, they are just kind of stuck in the 70’s and haven’t let the full impact of AIDS enter their minds. The men are Type A personalities and they are more confident than they have a right to be.
People who do the Tango are a little different. They drink exotic drinks and tend to overdress and brag a lot. They have nice homes and nice cars, but they can be rather superficial while at the same time think themselves quite the romantics. I can’t get the picture of Gomez and Morticia out of my head now so I have to leave the Tango dancers alone...just to be fair.
Two steppers are definitely Budweiser drinkers. As a matter of fact, two stepping men named Bob say things like, “I’m Bob, Bud Outuva Bottle...Bob.” Most of your hard core rednecks fall into this category but some of them are just good ol’ folk who know how to have a good time. They are usually a bit older but some young people do tend to appreciate a good two step now and then. Two steppers drive a better class of pick up truck than flat footers but they do ride in pick up trucks. They listen to a lot of southern rock and truly enjoy a good barbeque more than most. They play softball and watch Nascar. There are a lot of number 3’s on their vehicles in honor of Dale Earnheart. They are somewhat political and are very upset over the Confederate Flag issue.
Free style dancers are fun people but they tend to prefer actually HAVING fun than planning for it so they don’t bother learning any special dances. They are the type that usually need a few beers under their belts before they can really get going. The men usually do some version of the white man’s pony (which is what I call that side to side, finger snapping thing that they do). The woman can in explicably spin, it doesn’t really fit in with the rest of what they are doing but spin they will. The men even spin for no reason on occasion as well. At times, they will grab hands and do what parts of the jitterbug they remember and the man will attempt to dip the woman. Since he never took lessons, he doesn’t know how to signal the woman that she is about to be dipped and he doesn’t know about supporting her back so many of the woman just fall.
There are other types of dances that I could mention but I have to go to the attorney’s office this morning. Isn’t that fun? I suppose these jeans and Cubs t-shirt won’t do so I should go change into something a tad more presentable. Have a good day and I will see you later.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:56 AM
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