Meg...
...Freecycle can be rather addicting. One plus, the rules are... generally you have to offer something up before you can post a request... and you have a big fat scaly thing to offer right off the bat. I've seen fish and tanks (and snails and aquarium plants) offered on my local group.
I can see why it would be addicting, everything on it is free! Thank you so much for mentioning it, Auntie. This one doesn’t let you offer any animals but I posted a post that should generate contact with large aquarium owners, maybe I can do something that way. But the site is really cool, I had never heard of it before.
That's a really interesting link. I'm sure I've heard of it at some point, but never checked it out before.
Well, it is really interesting. Here is the link for anyone who wants to check it out, it goes by county, if your county doesn’t have one, you can start one yourself:
http://www.freecycle.org/
I don't know that I'd consider his comments to be ruining your blog. Town idiots and jesters have provided amusement for centuries. He (or possibly she) is just the online community equivalent. ;-)
Oh, I’m sure that he isn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t know how...I am not at all concerned which is why it didn’t bother me when he said it...but I do make a mental note of things...I am a woman after all. My memory is amazing if it has to do with guys. I may not be able to remember the name of the movie I saw Sunday evening, but I remember that on December 10th, 1984, Vex and I had a date. When I arrived at his apartment, he was lying on the couch acting as though he couldn’t keep his eyes open. He tried to get up a couple of times only to fall back onto the couch. In hindsight, he was dreadfully overacting, but I fell for it, hook line and sinker. I said, "Oh, you poor thing, if you're so tired, we can go out some other time.” Then I left and just happened to stop at the corner store a block from his apartment. As I was pulling out of the parking lot, that fool drove past me with a big stupid jaw dropping look on his face. I put the pedal to the metal and passed him on my way home. Then, as now, he didn’t have the courage to say, "Hey, can we make it some other night? I have something I need to take care of.“ That wouldn’t have been a lie and I wouldn’t feel so stupid for allowing myself go back for more.
He NEVER, EVER told me where he was going that night. He said that the sight of me made him forget. It’s funny how very prolific liars can be so used to lying that they never even stop to see if the BS makes any sense. This was over twenty years ago and he remembers every detail of that night but he can’t seem to recollect that one tiny element of the evening. Now, I ask you, does that make one teensy weensy lick of sense? Hell no. I caught him in most of the lies because they were just such LUDICROUS stories. Dim-witted and slow thinking, he tells lies that entirely fall apart upon the slightest degree of dissection.
And as I have said many times, with him gone, and not around to influence things that I should have never let him influence in the first place, like my self esteem and my confidence, things make so much more sense. And when you add a superb memory to the mix, I can see a shit load of stuff more clearly. I have figured out for sure that he has had at least 3 women since my mother died. Right after she did, he took out life insurance out on both of us. When he cancelled it for no good reason, I knew something was up. I have known for years but refused to admit it to myself, Isn’t that awful?
Last night I was speaking to a friend on the phone and he was in a pretty bad place. He was being screwed royally by just about everyone he could possibly be screwed by and he was accepting it with such complacency that I really let him have it. I asked what he would do if this was happening to his daughter and if it did, wouldn’t he be livid ? He said “Of course.”
He has been so insidiously manipulated that living with the results of the manipulation has become second nature. He lets people treat him in a manner that most of us would never accept. He himself wouldn't have accepted it if it just happened overnight. But after years of being treated in a certain manner, he has entirely lost his perspective and is unable feel the appropriate outrage toward this situation. To him, this is just a puzzling dilemma when in reality, it is an assault upon certain aspects of his life that one should never compromise.
This morning it occurred to me that I did it too. I knew I had lost my perspective as relates to the lies...that went out the window as soon as I started believing them. But I hadn’t thought about losing my outrage. That’s why I was able to stay even after he had hurt me years ago. He never did it often and it was never as outright as it was last summer, but it hurt nevertheless. He would whip car keys at me say “I wasn’t AIMING for your head.” Well, he was a ghastly aim because he nailed me in the head with car keys 3 times. I could go on and on but I would only look more like an idiot. I am just trying to tell you how badly I allowed myself to be treated and show how easily an intelligent person can slowly be molded in to a person who would tolerate such behavior. It happened so insidiously that I just didn’t see it for what it was. With every little lie that he told and that I fell for, he chipped away a little bit more of my soul. It’s very easy to believe the big lies when you've been weaned on the little ones.
Anyway, I lost the ability to see him for the sadistic monster that he was. He’s like a velvet hammer, you don’t see it coming from this quiet man. But he sits there, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, and now I can actually say decade after decade...fixing stereos and working on tiny little pieces of electronic equipment. He thinks of nothing but satisfying the basic animal urges that most of us have learned to control through years of socialization and maturation. You do the math.
Oh well, my point is that I know how I let it happen and after recognizing the same thing in someone else, I don’t feel as dense myself. If this friend of mine was a jerk, I would be worried. But he isn’t. He has his faults but he is a kind, gentle and decent man. He doesn’t deserve anything that’s happening to him (and it is some serious stuff) but he takes it anyway. So, if it can happen to him, then I don’t feel so stupid for letting it happen to me.
Meg
...Freecycle can be rather addicting. One plus, the rules are... generally you have to offer something up before you can post a request... and you have a big fat scaly thing to offer right off the bat. I've seen fish and tanks (and snails and aquarium plants) offered on my local group.
I can see why it would be addicting, everything on it is free! Thank you so much for mentioning it, Auntie. This one doesn’t let you offer any animals but I posted a post that should generate contact with large aquarium owners, maybe I can do something that way. But the site is really cool, I had never heard of it before.
That's a really interesting link. I'm sure I've heard of it at some point, but never checked it out before.
Well, it is really interesting. Here is the link for anyone who wants to check it out, it goes by county, if your county doesn’t have one, you can start one yourself:
http://www.freecycle.org/
I don't know that I'd consider his comments to be ruining your blog. Town idiots and jesters have provided amusement for centuries. He (or possibly she) is just the online community equivalent. ;-)
Oh, I’m sure that he isn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t know how...I am not at all concerned which is why it didn’t bother me when he said it...but I do make a mental note of things...I am a woman after all. My memory is amazing if it has to do with guys. I may not be able to remember the name of the movie I saw Sunday evening, but I remember that on December 10th, 1984, Vex and I had a date. When I arrived at his apartment, he was lying on the couch acting as though he couldn’t keep his eyes open. He tried to get up a couple of times only to fall back onto the couch. In hindsight, he was dreadfully overacting, but I fell for it, hook line and sinker. I said, "Oh, you poor thing, if you're so tired, we can go out some other time.” Then I left and just happened to stop at the corner store a block from his apartment. As I was pulling out of the parking lot, that fool drove past me with a big stupid jaw dropping look on his face. I put the pedal to the metal and passed him on my way home. Then, as now, he didn’t have the courage to say, "Hey, can we make it some other night? I have something I need to take care of.“ That wouldn’t have been a lie and I wouldn’t feel so stupid for allowing myself go back for more.
He NEVER, EVER told me where he was going that night. He said that the sight of me made him forget. It’s funny how very prolific liars can be so used to lying that they never even stop to see if the BS makes any sense. This was over twenty years ago and he remembers every detail of that night but he can’t seem to recollect that one tiny element of the evening. Now, I ask you, does that make one teensy weensy lick of sense? Hell no. I caught him in most of the lies because they were just such LUDICROUS stories. Dim-witted and slow thinking, he tells lies that entirely fall apart upon the slightest degree of dissection.
And as I have said many times, with him gone, and not around to influence things that I should have never let him influence in the first place, like my self esteem and my confidence, things make so much more sense. And when you add a superb memory to the mix, I can see a shit load of stuff more clearly. I have figured out for sure that he has had at least 3 women since my mother died. Right after she did, he took out life insurance out on both of us. When he cancelled it for no good reason, I knew something was up. I have known for years but refused to admit it to myself, Isn’t that awful?
Last night I was speaking to a friend on the phone and he was in a pretty bad place. He was being screwed royally by just about everyone he could possibly be screwed by and he was accepting it with such complacency that I really let him have it. I asked what he would do if this was happening to his daughter and if it did, wouldn’t he be livid ? He said “Of course.”
He has been so insidiously manipulated that living with the results of the manipulation has become second nature. He lets people treat him in a manner that most of us would never accept. He himself wouldn't have accepted it if it just happened overnight. But after years of being treated in a certain manner, he has entirely lost his perspective and is unable feel the appropriate outrage toward this situation. To him, this is just a puzzling dilemma when in reality, it is an assault upon certain aspects of his life that one should never compromise.
This morning it occurred to me that I did it too. I knew I had lost my perspective as relates to the lies...that went out the window as soon as I started believing them. But I hadn’t thought about losing my outrage. That’s why I was able to stay even after he had hurt me years ago. He never did it often and it was never as outright as it was last summer, but it hurt nevertheless. He would whip car keys at me say “I wasn’t AIMING for your head.” Well, he was a ghastly aim because he nailed me in the head with car keys 3 times. I could go on and on but I would only look more like an idiot. I am just trying to tell you how badly I allowed myself to be treated and show how easily an intelligent person can slowly be molded in to a person who would tolerate such behavior. It happened so insidiously that I just didn’t see it for what it was. With every little lie that he told and that I fell for, he chipped away a little bit more of my soul. It’s very easy to believe the big lies when you've been weaned on the little ones.
Anyway, I lost the ability to see him for the sadistic monster that he was. He’s like a velvet hammer, you don’t see it coming from this quiet man. But he sits there, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, and now I can actually say decade after decade...fixing stereos and working on tiny little pieces of electronic equipment. He thinks of nothing but satisfying the basic animal urges that most of us have learned to control through years of socialization and maturation. You do the math.
Oh well, my point is that I know how I let it happen and after recognizing the same thing in someone else, I don’t feel as dense myself. If this friend of mine was a jerk, I would be worried. But he isn’t. He has his faults but he is a kind, gentle and decent man. He doesn’t deserve anything that’s happening to him (and it is some serious stuff) but he takes it anyway. So, if it can happen to him, then I don’t feel so stupid for letting it happen to me.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:18 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home