Good morning!!!
Did you ever wonder what goes through a person's mind when they make the decision to totally control every aspect of your life? The type of freakish control that they seem to make such sport of in movies and television...they are the most frightening type of partner to find in your life.
They wiggle in innocuously enough, no one would let one of these nuts into their lives if they showed that behavior in the first place. But these albatross's have two totally opposing personalities...the one that they show to the people who wouldn't deal with them twice and the one they show the people who have to, for whatever reason, come back over and over again.
If they know that you HAVE to come back, because you're their kids' mom, their mother or some other poor schmuck like the current girlfriend who has gotten herself and her life a bit too entwined with the control freak...there's no place to hide. Where could you go that they don't know about? Yikes.
The fact that these fools have a decent personality that they show most people they meet shows that they KNOW what's acceptable. But they choose not to honor that same level of acceptability with the saps who keep coming back.
Being in a relationship with one of these control freaks is like having cancer of the life. They have gotten themselves involved in your life at such a basic level that not a phone call, a friendly "Hello!" out in public or even so much as a receipt from a store will get by without evoking some strange, suffocating behavior. God forbid an old friend should call out of the blue.
Things that wouldn't occur to a normal person seem to send these fruitcakes into some devious, Machiavellian spin and some other person takes the place of the being that you knew before. That person is gone, and a complete loon has replaced him.
The mind games are obvious and yet they behave as though they've convinced you of something that you know isn't true. Just because they say it, it must be so. The manipulation comes in at such high-school levels that you see it unfolding in front of you but there's nothing you can do to stop it because these nuts have an excuse for everything and somehow, whatever it is, it's you're fault. So, naturally everything they say is right. Because EVERYTHING that you do is wrong!
When someone blames every single thing that happens on you, you stop complaining about anything so they've effectively shut you up by making EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM somehow YOU related. So, there you are, all angry with a complaint and no one to talk to. That anger doesn't go away because the nuts chose not to address the problem...it just gets worse and worse until you want to smack the hell out of them.
You realize that any attempts to kill the cancer might also kill the host organism. But at some point, isn't it worth the chance? Who wants to live with any cancer, much less cancer of the life?
You know, people are capable of doing other evil things besides just cheating. Cheating is no good but other things are just as destructive.
If you think that you might have cancer of the life, take this quick test...ask yourself this...could you imagine this person shooting you? Can you see them on Fox News, being discussed by the Fox Friend group? If so, you have cancer of the relationship.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, some very famous people have suffered from it. There's Nicole Simpson and Baretta's wife to name two off the top of my head. Of course, they succumbed to it, you don't have to do that. It'll take some tedious work but you can remove one of these life-sucking parasites from your life. It's good if you have friends because you need someone to help keep your vital signs up. They will take a beating during this operation. So, try to maintain friendships to the best of your ability.
Of course some of these nut jobs have seen to it that your friends are all gone so it's best if you don't let it get that far because you'll need those friends and if you wait until later, your vital signs will take a bigger hit and your friends will be gone. Not a good situation at all.
Yeah, I know that you might think, "Well, there was a nice guy in that body at one time, maybe he'll come back." Nope. He won't be coming back. Once that guy is gone, he doesn't ever come back.
Unfortunately, aggressive therapy is recommended in 100% of the cases. Never, under any circumstances, will these tumors so much as go into remission. They will attack you with everything they have and from every direction that they can so you have to get a bit Fellowship of the Ring-like. That's why you need your friends.
And whatever happens...remember this...Lorena Bobbitt got off scott free.
OK then...see ya.
Meg
Did you ever wonder what goes through a person's mind when they make the decision to totally control every aspect of your life? The type of freakish control that they seem to make such sport of in movies and television...they are the most frightening type of partner to find in your life.
They wiggle in innocuously enough, no one would let one of these nuts into their lives if they showed that behavior in the first place. But these albatross's have two totally opposing personalities...the one that they show to the people who wouldn't deal with them twice and the one they show the people who have to, for whatever reason, come back over and over again.
If they know that you HAVE to come back, because you're their kids' mom, their mother or some other poor schmuck like the current girlfriend who has gotten herself and her life a bit too entwined with the control freak...there's no place to hide. Where could you go that they don't know about? Yikes.
The fact that these fools have a decent personality that they show most people they meet shows that they KNOW what's acceptable. But they choose not to honor that same level of acceptability with the saps who keep coming back.
Being in a relationship with one of these control freaks is like having cancer of the life. They have gotten themselves involved in your life at such a basic level that not a phone call, a friendly "Hello!" out in public or even so much as a receipt from a store will get by without evoking some strange, suffocating behavior. God forbid an old friend should call out of the blue.
Things that wouldn't occur to a normal person seem to send these fruitcakes into some devious, Machiavellian spin and some other person takes the place of the being that you knew before. That person is gone, and a complete loon has replaced him.
The mind games are obvious and yet they behave as though they've convinced you of something that you know isn't true. Just because they say it, it must be so. The manipulation comes in at such high-school levels that you see it unfolding in front of you but there's nothing you can do to stop it because these nuts have an excuse for everything and somehow, whatever it is, it's you're fault. So, naturally everything they say is right. Because EVERYTHING that you do is wrong!
When someone blames every single thing that happens on you, you stop complaining about anything so they've effectively shut you up by making EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM somehow YOU related. So, there you are, all angry with a complaint and no one to talk to. That anger doesn't go away because the nuts chose not to address the problem...it just gets worse and worse until you want to smack the hell out of them.
You realize that any attempts to kill the cancer might also kill the host organism. But at some point, isn't it worth the chance? Who wants to live with any cancer, much less cancer of the life?
You know, people are capable of doing other evil things besides just cheating. Cheating is no good but other things are just as destructive.
If you think that you might have cancer of the life, take this quick test...ask yourself this...could you imagine this person shooting you? Can you see them on Fox News, being discussed by the Fox Friend group? If so, you have cancer of the relationship.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, some very famous people have suffered from it. There's Nicole Simpson and Baretta's wife to name two off the top of my head. Of course, they succumbed to it, you don't have to do that. It'll take some tedious work but you can remove one of these life-sucking parasites from your life. It's good if you have friends because you need someone to help keep your vital signs up. They will take a beating during this operation. So, try to maintain friendships to the best of your ability.
Of course some of these nut jobs have seen to it that your friends are all gone so it's best if you don't let it get that far because you'll need those friends and if you wait until later, your vital signs will take a bigger hit and your friends will be gone. Not a good situation at all.
Yeah, I know that you might think, "Well, there was a nice guy in that body at one time, maybe he'll come back." Nope. He won't be coming back. Once that guy is gone, he doesn't ever come back.
Unfortunately, aggressive therapy is recommended in 100% of the cases. Never, under any circumstances, will these tumors so much as go into remission. They will attack you with everything they have and from every direction that they can so you have to get a bit Fellowship of the Ring-like. That's why you need your friends.
And whatever happens...remember this...Lorena Bobbitt got off scott free.
OK then...see ya.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:34 AM
3 Comments:
ok, now I feel like crying. (and yet, I'm not cause there just ain't no more left in me :P )
I do believe you've struck a very open and vulnerable nerve with me and I'm, once again, at that point where my entire soul freezes at the thought of life being any other way.
And although I am 90% sure that the drunken fool would never shoot me (notice that I'm not 100% sure, I'm not 100% sure of ANYTHING any more) the rest of that was just too incredibly on target to not be scary.
It's all my fault, I've no friends to tell me otherwise and the only person around that is here to wake me up, he's got me thinking is a loon for her ideas. And I have no idea how this all happened.
And I feel guilty for even thinking that he's doing this on purpose.
The few people left in my world (the few that are still refusing to let go but have no idea of what is really going on because they aren't comfortable being around us so I only talk to every 6 months or so) tells me to leave him. But why do I feel that because he's never physically abused me, and I really don't think he ever would, that it's not enough to leave him over? Like it's not a valid reason. And when I start talking to him, he makes it out like it's all ok. It's only when he's not around that I get enough courage to get pissed off again.
I really feel like I'm insane and can't be sure it's not me that is causing the problems.
And in an hour I'll feel it's all his fault.
I better start blogging more, cause I feel some serious therapy might be needed soon if this keeps up.
And thanks for blogging Meg, to know someone else is out there who knows there is life after this bullshit makes it a little easier to keep my eye on the goal.
Hey Meg,
This sounds like you are explaining my In-laws! :)
Glad to see you are still in rare form. The spinal-tap didn't keep you down too long.
What about Phil Hartman?...he was married to a nut, just found it out the hard way and way too late to do anything about it. He just woke up one day and his crazy wife shot him in the head!
People don't really change, though; they fool you for a while and then when you think all is well the alter-ego jumps out of the closet. I've been in a few relationships like that and ran like hell and damn glad I found out *before* I suffered (too much).
Some people just suck the very life out of you and you are right, you have to break away...no matter how hard it might seem, it can and should be done!
You're right, they never change. And...yes, he IS doing it on purpose...don't feel guilty.
meg
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