Sorry...
...I overslept. No good reason, I didn't stay out late...I just woke up and said, "Fuck it!" and went back to sleep.
Last night I went out to have dinner with a friend from high school. I was playing around Google-land and found my high school's MySpace space and I wrote to the site to say that I saw my brother in one of the pictures. I got an email back from someone who turned out to live here in Atlanta. We've been threatening to meet each other and we finally did last night.
It was SOOOOO fun! We sat and chatted about people who we knew and he told me about a bunch of other classmates who live here now. I was stunned with each name.
When I was a senior in high school I had a chemistry class that had nothing but guys and ME in it. Two guys who we called Hess and Fess (the first syllables in their last names) did nothing but cut up all semester and I sat with them so I had to play along. Fess was a cute SOB and I couldn't help myself. That was the most fun I ever had in high school and the only F that I ever received.
Hess lives in Atlanta and apparently, he looks exactly like he did in high school. That's a humorous thought....when I got home I looked at my yearbook and saw him again. I hope that we all get together soon...although it might very well be another football season before we do. We want to have Bears' parties. With any luck at all, I'll only have to wait until baseball season. I'd host the Cubs' party myself.
My friend, Scott, is divorced as well. We talked about dating and crap like that. It was interesting to hear the views of a man my age who was single again as compared to my views. He said, "The nice thing about being divorced is that you can date 4 or 5 different people at a time." I said, "The worst thing about being single is that there isn't one person whom you can have as a companion." He dates women in their 20's and asked me about my daughter! I said, "Well, she might be too old for you, she's 28." I would bet that it's easy for him to get those young women...he drives a nice Hummer.
Oh! I told someone that I was going to address the handicap system in the American Pool League. That's the organization that overseas my pool team.
For some reason, in one of the very few games in which females and males are equally able to play, they give the new women a handicap of 3 and men start as 4's. Now, I like only being a 3 now because of the kicking ass in 2 games thing. And, that won't last long because I'm at least a 5 according to my team...a bunch of 5's who think I shoot better than they do. We'll find out if this is talent or beginner's luck. In the meantime, I keep beating higher ranked players swiftly because they started me at a 3.
Now, the heaviest stick that I've ever held is a 22 ouncer. I shoot with a 21. I have vision that is pretty poor but with corrective lenses, I can see as well as anyone else. I understand the idea of angles, no matter how badly I did in high school geometry. So, you tell me...why in the hell do they rank women so low? Is it simply because of the boobs? That's a possibility, occasionally I do smack a boob while stroking. But It's more my fault than a natural disadvantage. A guy with a huge wanger could potentially have a similar incident.
Captain Asshole didn't think it was fair. I don't really think it's fair. But that's the way it is. So, until they rank me where I belong, line 'em up and I'll take 'em out one at a time. I've been playing against men almost exclusively for decades and I win more than I lose. If the big boys ever start to beat me, I can always go skunk a few little boys who were looking for their binkies while I was learning to shoot pool.
And I've certainly played against some damn good chicks over the years. Any guy who's ever played pool has met at least one boob person who wiped the place up with them. So, with us, it's just like any other sport, if you practice, you can play....period.
Of course...I always like to be underestimated...it cometh before some dude's fall.
Let me think...anything else? Oh...my. Yes, there is one more thing.
A few days ago I mentioned a guy who I once went out with. Remember the one who looks like Peter from The Family Guy? He told me once that he never reads this thing. So, I didn't think twice about telling you guys that. Well, this morning he read it and wrote me the nastiest email that you could imagine. I don't know how he knew it was about him, it was either the Peter comparison or the allusions to him being a drunk. Whichever, he knew it was about he about whom I spoke. (That's a rather awkward sentence, isn't it? I've tried it a few times and that's the best I can do. If there are any English teachers out there, please help me out on that one. Thanks.)
I never use names so he shouldn't be such an ass. Especially considering I do know his name and if I wanted to, I could put it here. I usually save name using for the most hideous of people. i.e, Colleen Lombardi or deserving public figures like Lorraine Coyle-Koppel.
But I am only a 3.
I'm obviously not as smart as a man. I could mix people up in my silly little female mind and print the wrong name. Then you would all know who inspired me when I coined the phrase, Smother Fucker.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=smother+fucker
Oh, and I could always prove the Peter comparison by putting up side-by-side pictures. Trust me, as fucking funny as that would be, it's all I can do to refrain from doing it now!
:):):)
PS I learned a new word that pretty much describes Peter the Drunk....he is a chode.
...I overslept. No good reason, I didn't stay out late...I just woke up and said, "Fuck it!" and went back to sleep.
Last night I went out to have dinner with a friend from high school. I was playing around Google-land and found my high school's MySpace space and I wrote to the site to say that I saw my brother in one of the pictures. I got an email back from someone who turned out to live here in Atlanta. We've been threatening to meet each other and we finally did last night.
It was SOOOOO fun! We sat and chatted about people who we knew and he told me about a bunch of other classmates who live here now. I was stunned with each name.
When I was a senior in high school I had a chemistry class that had nothing but guys and ME in it. Two guys who we called Hess and Fess (the first syllables in their last names) did nothing but cut up all semester and I sat with them so I had to play along. Fess was a cute SOB and I couldn't help myself. That was the most fun I ever had in high school and the only F that I ever received.
Hess lives in Atlanta and apparently, he looks exactly like he did in high school. That's a humorous thought....when I got home I looked at my yearbook and saw him again. I hope that we all get together soon...although it might very well be another football season before we do. We want to have Bears' parties. With any luck at all, I'll only have to wait until baseball season. I'd host the Cubs' party myself.
My friend, Scott, is divorced as well. We talked about dating and crap like that. It was interesting to hear the views of a man my age who was single again as compared to my views. He said, "The nice thing about being divorced is that you can date 4 or 5 different people at a time." I said, "The worst thing about being single is that there isn't one person whom you can have as a companion." He dates women in their 20's and asked me about my daughter! I said, "Well, she might be too old for you, she's 28." I would bet that it's easy for him to get those young women...he drives a nice Hummer.
Oh! I told someone that I was going to address the handicap system in the American Pool League. That's the organization that overseas my pool team.
For some reason, in one of the very few games in which females and males are equally able to play, they give the new women a handicap of 3 and men start as 4's. Now, I like only being a 3 now because of the kicking ass in 2 games thing. And, that won't last long because I'm at least a 5 according to my team...a bunch of 5's who think I shoot better than they do. We'll find out if this is talent or beginner's luck. In the meantime, I keep beating higher ranked players swiftly because they started me at a 3.
Now, the heaviest stick that I've ever held is a 22 ouncer. I shoot with a 21. I have vision that is pretty poor but with corrective lenses, I can see as well as anyone else. I understand the idea of angles, no matter how badly I did in high school geometry. So, you tell me...why in the hell do they rank women so low? Is it simply because of the boobs? That's a possibility, occasionally I do smack a boob while stroking. But It's more my fault than a natural disadvantage. A guy with a huge wanger could potentially have a similar incident.
Captain Asshole didn't think it was fair. I don't really think it's fair. But that's the way it is. So, until they rank me where I belong, line 'em up and I'll take 'em out one at a time. I've been playing against men almost exclusively for decades and I win more than I lose. If the big boys ever start to beat me, I can always go skunk a few little boys who were looking for their binkies while I was learning to shoot pool.
And I've certainly played against some damn good chicks over the years. Any guy who's ever played pool has met at least one boob person who wiped the place up with them. So, with us, it's just like any other sport, if you practice, you can play....period.
Of course...I always like to be underestimated...it cometh before some dude's fall.
Let me think...anything else? Oh...my. Yes, there is one more thing.
A few days ago I mentioned a guy who I once went out with. Remember the one who looks like Peter from The Family Guy? He told me once that he never reads this thing. So, I didn't think twice about telling you guys that. Well, this morning he read it and wrote me the nastiest email that you could imagine. I don't know how he knew it was about him, it was either the Peter comparison or the allusions to him being a drunk. Whichever, he knew it was about he about whom I spoke. (That's a rather awkward sentence, isn't it? I've tried it a few times and that's the best I can do. If there are any English teachers out there, please help me out on that one. Thanks.)
I never use names so he shouldn't be such an ass. Especially considering I do know his name and if I wanted to, I could put it here. I usually save name using for the most hideous of people. i.e, Colleen Lombardi or deserving public figures like Lorraine Coyle-Koppel.
But I am only a 3.
I'm obviously not as smart as a man. I could mix people up in my silly little female mind and print the wrong name. Then you would all know who inspired me when I coined the phrase, Smother Fucker.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=smother+fucker
Oh, and I could always prove the Peter comparison by putting up side-by-side pictures. Trust me, as fucking funny as that would be, it's all I can do to refrain from doing it now!
:):):)
PS I learned a new word that pretty much describes Peter the Drunk....he is a chode.
posted by Meg Kelso | 6:33 AM
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