Hi -Hi!!!
I'm up early again but it's not because I wanted to be. I just couldn't sleep because of a bunch of stupid stuff that happened. First, I went in my room early to watch my Tivo-ed South Park and I ended up falling asleep. I slept until 1:22 AM when I woke up with funk mouth since I hadn't brushed my teeth. I never intended to fall asleep so early so I wasn't at all ready for bed.
I crawled out of bed and brushed my teeth. I decided to have a strawberry fruit bar/popsicle to freshen my mouth and to be sure to leave a bit of sugar in there for the night crew working on my next cavity. I also had to take all of my nighttime medicines, some of which make me tired. Then, my animals assumed that all of this activity meant DAYTIME which begins, of course, with Meow Mix and Alpo.
When I got back into the bed, I wasn't there for 45 seconds when it occurred to me that I had to get out and pee. My bladder is a bit nuts, it wants to be emptied at every possible moment even if it was emptied 10 minutes ago. I don't know why, it just does. So, I pretty much listen to it because it won't shut the heck up until I do.
Eventually I did get back to bed...surrounded by 150 pounds of hungry animals.
Now, the part of this story that I left out is the part that explains why I woke up at 1:22 AM. I had one of those dreams that you have that wakes you up and actually makes you mad at someone for their actions in your dreams. When I was married, I would dream that Rick was cheating on me and I would wake up as angry as if he had. Imagine the smack on the head when I found out those dreams were trying to warn me about the bimbo in the scuzzy rental trailer in Bumphuk Georgia.
I failed to see the reality of those dreams so I hesitate to ignore this one. I woke up very angry and before I went back to bed, I took a xanax because I could see myself going around and around with that one in my mind for hours. Then, while the xanax kicked in, I watched another episode of South Park, the one where Cartman is convicted of a hate crime, it's SOOOOO funny.
When I finally rolled over and tried to fall asleep, my mind was at work again. It was weird, I didn't even know that I had gone to sleep because the dream picked up where my thoughts left off. I know it was a dream and not me just thinking because everytime I tried to cause physical pain (and I tried that a LOT), I would be stymied by one thing or another. If I were in control of these thoughts, there would be a gun in the story and no one would be stopping me. Of course, the way my dream was going last night, the stupid gun wouldn't have fired anyway.
My ex was in the dream as were a harem of women. He's two weeks late on the alimony which is brutalizing my financial status right now. I guess that's what made me dream the things that I dreamt all night. The details of the nightmare aren't important, suffice it to say that he, and the bitches, were all behaving like assholes. I had to hurt them, it was a matter of pride. But as I said, I could never quite hurt someone. It certainly wasn't for lack of trying. I'd pull someone's hair and someone else would pull it so close to the head that I couldn't do any damage. I'd throw a punch and something would happen to block it. Once I tried to gouge some hoe's eyes out and whatever happened, I ended up with a handful of scrambled eggs. Once again, the anger and frustration woke me up.
I laid there thinking about things and simmering a bit...just long enough to start waxing poetic. This is the poetry that my ex inspires in me:
Fuck your bald head and that unibrow
Fuck your sexual technique, you don't know how
Fuck the skidmarks that you left for me
Fuck the Jell-O where your brain should be
Fuck the silly way that you walk
Fuck your illiteracy when you write, read or talk
Fuck your bird and your cat and that little rat dog
Fuck your current bitch, the one that literally looks like a hog
Fuck both of your smelly, fungus filled feet
Fuck how it still smells like farts in your seat
Fuck your nose and that 30 year old zit
Fuck the way your balls and taint smells like old man shit
Fuck the shitballs stuck to hairs on your ass
Fuck your white trash family, no hand out do they pass
Fuck your first wife and the bitch of the hour
Fuck the way you WON'T learn how to shower
Fuck your freaky, bent and twisted dick
Fuck the way it looks like a crooked little stick
Fuck the way you always cum in a minute
Fuck your perverted, "Please! My ass...put something in it!"
Fuck your endeavors, and jinx all that you do
And while I'm at it asshole, FUCK YOU TOO.
: )
OK. I feel much better now.
I'm up early again but it's not because I wanted to be. I just couldn't sleep because of a bunch of stupid stuff that happened. First, I went in my room early to watch my Tivo-ed South Park and I ended up falling asleep. I slept until 1:22 AM when I woke up with funk mouth since I hadn't brushed my teeth. I never intended to fall asleep so early so I wasn't at all ready for bed.
I crawled out of bed and brushed my teeth. I decided to have a strawberry fruit bar/popsicle to freshen my mouth and to be sure to leave a bit of sugar in there for the night crew working on my next cavity. I also had to take all of my nighttime medicines, some of which make me tired. Then, my animals assumed that all of this activity meant DAYTIME which begins, of course, with Meow Mix and Alpo.
When I got back into the bed, I wasn't there for 45 seconds when it occurred to me that I had to get out and pee. My bladder is a bit nuts, it wants to be emptied at every possible moment even if it was emptied 10 minutes ago. I don't know why, it just does. So, I pretty much listen to it because it won't shut the heck up until I do.
Eventually I did get back to bed...surrounded by 150 pounds of hungry animals.
Now, the part of this story that I left out is the part that explains why I woke up at 1:22 AM. I had one of those dreams that you have that wakes you up and actually makes you mad at someone for their actions in your dreams. When I was married, I would dream that Rick was cheating on me and I would wake up as angry as if he had. Imagine the smack on the head when I found out those dreams were trying to warn me about the bimbo in the scuzzy rental trailer in Bumphuk Georgia.
I failed to see the reality of those dreams so I hesitate to ignore this one. I woke up very angry and before I went back to bed, I took a xanax because I could see myself going around and around with that one in my mind for hours. Then, while the xanax kicked in, I watched another episode of South Park, the one where Cartman is convicted of a hate crime, it's SOOOOO funny.
When I finally rolled over and tried to fall asleep, my mind was at work again. It was weird, I didn't even know that I had gone to sleep because the dream picked up where my thoughts left off. I know it was a dream and not me just thinking because everytime I tried to cause physical pain (and I tried that a LOT), I would be stymied by one thing or another. If I were in control of these thoughts, there would be a gun in the story and no one would be stopping me. Of course, the way my dream was going last night, the stupid gun wouldn't have fired anyway.
My ex was in the dream as were a harem of women. He's two weeks late on the alimony which is brutalizing my financial status right now. I guess that's what made me dream the things that I dreamt all night. The details of the nightmare aren't important, suffice it to say that he, and the bitches, were all behaving like assholes. I had to hurt them, it was a matter of pride. But as I said, I could never quite hurt someone. It certainly wasn't for lack of trying. I'd pull someone's hair and someone else would pull it so close to the head that I couldn't do any damage. I'd throw a punch and something would happen to block it. Once I tried to gouge some hoe's eyes out and whatever happened, I ended up with a handful of scrambled eggs. Once again, the anger and frustration woke me up.
I laid there thinking about things and simmering a bit...just long enough to start waxing poetic. This is the poetry that my ex inspires in me:
Fuck your bald head and that unibrow
Fuck your sexual technique, you don't know how
Fuck the skidmarks that you left for me
Fuck the Jell-O where your brain should be
Fuck the silly way that you walk
Fuck your illiteracy when you write, read or talk
Fuck your bird and your cat and that little rat dog
Fuck your current bitch, the one that literally looks like a hog
Fuck both of your smelly, fungus filled feet
Fuck how it still smells like farts in your seat
Fuck your nose and that 30 year old zit
Fuck the way your balls and taint smells like old man shit
Fuck the shitballs stuck to hairs on your ass
Fuck your white trash family, no hand out do they pass
Fuck your first wife and the bitch of the hour
Fuck the way you WON'T learn how to shower
Fuck your freaky, bent and twisted dick
Fuck the way it looks like a crooked little stick
Fuck the way you always cum in a minute
Fuck your perverted, "Please! My ass...put something in it!"
Fuck your endeavors, and jinx all that you do
And while I'm at it asshole, FUCK YOU TOO.
: )
OK. I feel much better now.
posted by Meg Kelso | 3:50 AM
2 Comments:
What justification do you offer for sponging off your ex-husband?
Did it ever occur to you that for a woman to get alimony (without having a man’s kids), there had to have been a VERY GOOD REASON? That’s all you need to know. I’m a big girl, I don’t explain myself and I don’t associate with people who expect me to.
Ciao
Post a Comment
<< Home