I can be so stupid!

I can’t quite put my finger on it but something has been altered drastically from the dating world of my youth. I’m doing it wrong.

So far, I’ve told one guy that I smelled badly, I had one guy totally confused with another and I actually went out with a guy who reminded me of my ex…how’s that for frightening?

It wouldn’t have been too bad if he had my ex’s one positive trait…the fact that when he has a stupid thought, 9 times out of 10 he keeps it to himself…but this guy was a normal talker. He chatted just like any guy out on a date would chat. We were speaking to another couple and it seemed like a good time. But if I had been paying attention instead of having fun, I would have noticed that the chick from the other couple was moving in on my date. I didn’t care too much, it just seemed like bad form. But that’s where the memories of my ex come in.

I didn’t give it any thought until the next day but when I did, it occurred to me exactly what was going on when the chick told me, “Call me, your date has my number!” I know, most people would see that for what it was but as my ex knows, I’m somewhat of an idiot when it comes to such matters. I would never think the worst right off the bat. It simply would never occur to me that people would do that sort of stuff. I wonder what the guy thought when he heard her shout out that he had her number? He must have had a Maalox moment until he saw what an idiot I was.

I wouldn’t have thought of it if he had come over for dinner as he said he would. But the fact that he cancelled by email got me thinking. I had nothing to do and no one to do it with, so my thoughts turned to trying to figure out the reason for that. And after ruminating on potential scenarios for a while, I realized that I had been had.

I also tried to learn from the mistake and this is what I’m taking away from that date…if your date takes another woman’s card while you are with him, call a cab. You don’t even have to explain why. Just say, “I called an audible.” and run like hell. It saves so much time and effort. I stayed up for a good chunk of the wee hours of Sunday morning preparing for a bar-b-que. Now I have a huge bowl full of chicken and macaroni salad and no one to feed it to.

Had I picked up on the fact that I was out with a scaramouche, I wouldn’t have bothered. I would have fed the chicken to a dog or a cat and eaten the macaroni with cheese or red sauce. No one wants cold macaroni salad every day for a week. I don’t even want it today and I only had one bowlful yesterday. To make matters worse, I made the salad the way the guy told me HE liked it…no onions…my ex has returned! So, now I have to go buy an onion, mince a bit and toss it in my salad. I hope he’s happy, men aren’t supposed to cost me a dime.

Oh well, I suppose it’s just one more mistake I have to correct on my way to perfection.

I think what bothers me most about men who do this sort of thing is the fact that they ARE such a waste of my time. It’s not as though I have a LOT of alternatives, but I’d rather sit in my recliner cleaning under my toenails than to be in the presence of such a cad but you never see them coming. Guys don’t call themselves “Cad” and they don’t list it on their resume so how do you know until you’ve been had by a cad?

That was the one mistake that I made with my ex. I believed that he would behave one way when he was genetically programmed to behave another. You just can’t make a sow’s ear into a silk purse, whatever the heck that means. I just wish I didn’t run in to so many sows.