Good morning!!!
I am, once again, waiting for the coffee to kick in. I wonder if we would have remained this foggy throughout the day if we didn’t have coffee. How did the cavemen wake themselves up? I know they didn't have coffee. I am pretty sure they had no tea and I am damned sure that they had no coffee pots, at least not the kind you plug in. I guess the charging animals would have probably done it. I wouldn’t need coffee if there was a pterodactyl perched outside my window.
I was wondering about something today. When person begins an extramarital affair, they have no intention of allowing their spouses find out about it. But, with some affairs, there comes a time when the cheating spouse begins to put more import on the feelings of the tramp du jour than the feelings of the person sitting at home waiting for them. What happens? At what point does a man/woman decide that they are more interested in protecting the dissolute relationship that should never have happened to the point that they no longer try to hide their feelings from the spouse? And then why do they stay with the spouse and put them through hell rather than just being honest? You would think that they would want to allow the spouse the opportunity to get on with their life. That would make it so much easier on the TDJ as well. Why would a man want to incur the acrimony of two women? The TDJ isn't going anywhere. If it could have gotten a date of it's own, it would have. These two debauched characters have each other. Why not let the spouse have a chance at happiness?
Why not tell the truth? Life is always easier when you do. I am a firm believer in that. But some people won't admit to anything that isn’t on tape and the tape better be damn good tape. Why is that? The lying results in far more pain all the way around. If Rick would have just spoken to me one day and told me what was going on, I would have been hurt, but I would have been able to start making plans to take care of myself. Instead, he lied and had me at his smelly feet for months that I should have spent preparing for my new life. But I couldn‘t as long as he wouldn‘t tell me what to do with the old one. I told him, “If there is someone else, I don’t want you. We can get it over with now.” There was absolutely NOTHING I could do to get the truth out of him. I admit I should have been more responsible, I knew what was happening on one level. But on another level, I didn’t want to believe it so I didn’t. Anyway, that was stupid, if it walks like a duck...
So, whatever sex you are, try not to be too stupid. Make lists of thoughts you have. Write things down and wait a while. Go back and read what you've written later to see if it makes any more or less sense now. Time sometimes gives you a modicum of objectivity. Try to be honest with yourself. And give yourself some room. None of this became clear to me until after Rick left and I had time to see things without his lies messing up my perspective. When people ask, “Why didn’t you leave?”, the only way I can explain it is that the lies make you lose perspective. You are not seeing things for what they are when there is someone around manipulating you all of the time.
That’s why you shouldn’t lose touch with your friends. They help you maintain perspective. They can be your only lifeline to reality. So, don’t let your friends become a negotiable aspect of your life. When you begin dating someone, be sure to spend at least one night a week with your friends. Trust them, friends don’t usually steer you in the wrong direction. If you meet some guy and Thursday night is your friend’s night out, that will never change unless you change it. They won’t usually ask you to do that in the beginning. If YOU stop the Thursday nights with the friends for him and then all of a sudden, you want go out with your friends again, they perceive it as a threat. If you never make it negotiable in the beginning, you won’t have to debate it in the future.
Well, That’s my Friday morning discourse. I have to suck more coffee and worry.
Oh, yesterday my computer crashed and Technician Man is gone so I had to spend the day fixing it myself. It was a bitch and took 5 phone calls, each with an average wait time of 10 minutes. It was hell. I freaked out. But I got it fixed. The only problem is that the only thing I fixed was AOL version 4. I can’t get version 9 to work. I am so exasperated. Well, I should try to fix this but I am afraid I will lose the only AOL I have. I lost Explorer yesterday. Imagine my panic. Maybe some nice computer geek Mormon guy will knock on the door. One can always hope.
Meg
I am, once again, waiting for the coffee to kick in. I wonder if we would have remained this foggy throughout the day if we didn’t have coffee. How did the cavemen wake themselves up? I know they didn't have coffee. I am pretty sure they had no tea and I am damned sure that they had no coffee pots, at least not the kind you plug in. I guess the charging animals would have probably done it. I wouldn’t need coffee if there was a pterodactyl perched outside my window.
I was wondering about something today. When person begins an extramarital affair, they have no intention of allowing their spouses find out about it. But, with some affairs, there comes a time when the cheating spouse begins to put more import on the feelings of the tramp du jour than the feelings of the person sitting at home waiting for them. What happens? At what point does a man/woman decide that they are more interested in protecting the dissolute relationship that should never have happened to the point that they no longer try to hide their feelings from the spouse? And then why do they stay with the spouse and put them through hell rather than just being honest? You would think that they would want to allow the spouse the opportunity to get on with their life. That would make it so much easier on the TDJ as well. Why would a man want to incur the acrimony of two women? The TDJ isn't going anywhere. If it could have gotten a date of it's own, it would have. These two debauched characters have each other. Why not let the spouse have a chance at happiness?
Why not tell the truth? Life is always easier when you do. I am a firm believer in that. But some people won't admit to anything that isn’t on tape and the tape better be damn good tape. Why is that? The lying results in far more pain all the way around. If Rick would have just spoken to me one day and told me what was going on, I would have been hurt, but I would have been able to start making plans to take care of myself. Instead, he lied and had me at his smelly feet for months that I should have spent preparing for my new life. But I couldn‘t as long as he wouldn‘t tell me what to do with the old one. I told him, “If there is someone else, I don’t want you. We can get it over with now.” There was absolutely NOTHING I could do to get the truth out of him. I admit I should have been more responsible, I knew what was happening on one level. But on another level, I didn’t want to believe it so I didn’t. Anyway, that was stupid, if it walks like a duck...
So, whatever sex you are, try not to be too stupid. Make lists of thoughts you have. Write things down and wait a while. Go back and read what you've written later to see if it makes any more or less sense now. Time sometimes gives you a modicum of objectivity. Try to be honest with yourself. And give yourself some room. None of this became clear to me until after Rick left and I had time to see things without his lies messing up my perspective. When people ask, “Why didn’t you leave?”, the only way I can explain it is that the lies make you lose perspective. You are not seeing things for what they are when there is someone around manipulating you all of the time.
That’s why you shouldn’t lose touch with your friends. They help you maintain perspective. They can be your only lifeline to reality. So, don’t let your friends become a negotiable aspect of your life. When you begin dating someone, be sure to spend at least one night a week with your friends. Trust them, friends don’t usually steer you in the wrong direction. If you meet some guy and Thursday night is your friend’s night out, that will never change unless you change it. They won’t usually ask you to do that in the beginning. If YOU stop the Thursday nights with the friends for him and then all of a sudden, you want go out with your friends again, they perceive it as a threat. If you never make it negotiable in the beginning, you won’t have to debate it in the future.
Well, That’s my Friday morning discourse. I have to suck more coffee and worry.
Oh, yesterday my computer crashed and Technician Man is gone so I had to spend the day fixing it myself. It was a bitch and took 5 phone calls, each with an average wait time of 10 minutes. It was hell. I freaked out. But I got it fixed. The only problem is that the only thing I fixed was AOL version 4. I can’t get version 9 to work. I am so exasperated. Well, I should try to fix this but I am afraid I will lose the only AOL I have. I lost Explorer yesterday. Imagine my panic. Maybe some nice computer geek Mormon guy will knock on the door. One can always hope.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:06 AM
1 Comments:
Oh, yesterday my computer crashed...
Well I'm not offering to be your remote techie... but if AOL and MS Explorer don't do it for you, you definitely need to get
Firefox, it's not only way better and more secure, it's plitically correct too... Open source rules OK!
Face it, AOL is the Rick of the browser world.
But the Mormon geek is a good idea too. Bearing in mind that Mormons always travel in pairs... to keep an eye on each other I suppose... you keep the geekier one busy fixing your computer, and you'll have time to discreetly hump the other one.
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