Good evening!
I hope you are all doing well. I am pretty much just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nobody has called regarding anything that I am in suspense over. I am just sitting here, wondering what in the world will happen by the time the month is out. Isn’t that crazy? I have absolutely no clue what I will be doing in the next few weeks. I feel as though I am at some precipice and I am about to plunge into the abyss. I don’t know what the abyss is full of and that means I can’t prepare for it. It's an odd feeling.
All I know for sure is that my kitchen is clean and that the next thing I am supposed to do is to make myself something to eat. I’m not hungry so I came and sat down at this keyboard out of habit. Most of the time, I have no idea what I am going to say when I sit down to write. I just put my fingers out and then, before I know it, I am posting another post. I spent Saturday night with a friend who’s daughter was out of town. She doesn’t know anything about computers. She has only been online at my house when I go pick her up and bring her here in her wheelchair. That isn’t too often as it is difficult for me to lift her in and out of the car. I visit her every week and when I do, I tell her about this blog. She didn’t really understand what I was telling her so Saturday afternoon, I printed it out for her. There were 53 pages. I thought, “My, isn’t that a lot of writing!” But then I saw that it was only for the month of March and it was only the 5th day of March. If my math is right, I have close to 400 pages here and you are reading every word of it. That is so odd to me.
So tell me, why do you do that? I am curious again. Ah, My Eyes Adored You, what a good song. (Do you want to know what it is like to be middle aged? I knew who sang that song when I started typing the name of it and now I have forgotten. Damn it.) Are you as curious as I am as to how this is going to turn out? I have no clue and I am right here in the thick of it. Imagine not knowing a damned thing about where your life will be one month from today. I've always known where I would be living, who would be taking care of things and who would be kissing me good-night. But now, I am totally clueless. I’m not complaining, mind you. I’m just telling you how I feel.
I’m not at ALL complaining. So, don’t get the wrong idea. I keep saying that I think it's going to be good. It has to be better than it was last year. I am almost happy nowadays. Do you remember when I asked what it was like to be distracted? Well, I distract myself almost all the time now. (I just noticed that my father left a hundred bucks sitting on my jewelry box. Well Bill Broderick, what a sweetheart you are.) If I don’t have anything else to do, I sit here and write to you guys. It takes up a good bit of time and I enjoy it. Without you, I would have gotten bored with this entire thing a few days after I started it. I probably wouldn’t be so into it if it were just for me. I have been going on your power alone for weeks now and I thank you for that.
I think I can take over now.
Ooh, Rock On...David Essex...I’ve still got it.
And now, I shall dance again. :)
Meg
By the way, if I HAVE to say it, it is better to dance alone than to rot in the company of a scaramouche.
I hope you are all doing well. I am pretty much just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nobody has called regarding anything that I am in suspense over. I am just sitting here, wondering what in the world will happen by the time the month is out. Isn’t that crazy? I have absolutely no clue what I will be doing in the next few weeks. I feel as though I am at some precipice and I am about to plunge into the abyss. I don’t know what the abyss is full of and that means I can’t prepare for it. It's an odd feeling.
All I know for sure is that my kitchen is clean and that the next thing I am supposed to do is to make myself something to eat. I’m not hungry so I came and sat down at this keyboard out of habit. Most of the time, I have no idea what I am going to say when I sit down to write. I just put my fingers out and then, before I know it, I am posting another post. I spent Saturday night with a friend who’s daughter was out of town. She doesn’t know anything about computers. She has only been online at my house when I go pick her up and bring her here in her wheelchair. That isn’t too often as it is difficult for me to lift her in and out of the car. I visit her every week and when I do, I tell her about this blog. She didn’t really understand what I was telling her so Saturday afternoon, I printed it out for her. There were 53 pages. I thought, “My, isn’t that a lot of writing!” But then I saw that it was only for the month of March and it was only the 5th day of March. If my math is right, I have close to 400 pages here and you are reading every word of it. That is so odd to me.
So tell me, why do you do that? I am curious again. Ah, My Eyes Adored You, what a good song. (Do you want to know what it is like to be middle aged? I knew who sang that song when I started typing the name of it and now I have forgotten. Damn it.) Are you as curious as I am as to how this is going to turn out? I have no clue and I am right here in the thick of it. Imagine not knowing a damned thing about where your life will be one month from today. I've always known where I would be living, who would be taking care of things and who would be kissing me good-night. But now, I am totally clueless. I’m not complaining, mind you. I’m just telling you how I feel.
I’m not at ALL complaining. So, don’t get the wrong idea. I keep saying that I think it's going to be good. It has to be better than it was last year. I am almost happy nowadays. Do you remember when I asked what it was like to be distracted? Well, I distract myself almost all the time now. (I just noticed that my father left a hundred bucks sitting on my jewelry box. Well Bill Broderick, what a sweetheart you are.) If I don’t have anything else to do, I sit here and write to you guys. It takes up a good bit of time and I enjoy it. Without you, I would have gotten bored with this entire thing a few days after I started it. I probably wouldn’t be so into it if it were just for me. I have been going on your power alone for weeks now and I thank you for that.
I think I can take over now.
Ooh, Rock On...David Essex...I’ve still got it.
And now, I shall dance again. :)
Meg
By the way, if I HAVE to say it, it is better to dance alone than to rot in the company of a scaramouche.
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:21 PM
5 Comments:
I can tell you Meg sounds like Janis Joplin without the Texas accent.
I come here so that for a few minutes a day I don't have to face the giant train wreck my life has become. How's that for chipper?
Purple, the only person I've put a face on is Uncle (oh my dirty old uncle, where have you gone??), and I always picture Dusty Hill from ZZ Top.
Since you've been in both situations, let me ask you which is worse, not knowing what the future holds, or knowing that tomorrow will be exactly like today?
I can answer Stacey's question (from my limited perspective, anyway).
If tomorrow is going to be exactly the same as today, I hope I die in my sleep.
Anything has to be better than this.
I'm with you E. What dreams may come and all that jazz...
I ended up here through a link on some random website. I'm not quite sure what keeps me coming back. It could be the laughing I do while reading through almost every post. It could be how easily Meg seems to put things in perspective.
I didn't realize or even suspect the love of my life was cheating until he made changes in his behaviour that were eerily like Rick's. Meg's blog has given me inspiration and strength that get through these difficult times in my life. It has shown me that I'm not the only one who fell for the wrong guy.
I have so much appreciation and respect for any woman who has a man destroy her life, but still manages to keep plugging along, knowing that better things are coming.
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