Good morning!
I awoke next to a pretty little girl this morning. She was just sitting on the bed waiting for me to wake up. When I did, she gave me the biggest hug a little girl can give. Aren’t hugs great? Why is that? How can another person putting their arms around you heal so much? I love a big ol’ hug first thing in the morning.
I don’t get many of those lately, morning or otherwise. Think about all of the people that hug you, wouldn’t you miss them if they all disappeared? It seems as though it were only yesterday that I had a house full of people to hug. Then, one at a time, they all moved out. My daughter couldn’t stand Rick so she left the first chance she got. My youngest went away to college in 2000 and never came back. Then my oldest moved out. Of course, Rick left last.
I always wanted to raise independent kids but I think I should have kept one at home. Don’t be too hard on kids who still live at home, they might have a parent that needs them. I would never ask one of them to move back in, but I would be tickled pink if one did right now.
Having another person in the house would be so nice. You don’t really cook much when you’re alone, at least I don’t. When someone else is here, I make sure that there are meals on the table and that the house is clean. I haven’t been alone long enough to do all of that for myself. I should, if I were speaking to my best friend I would tell her that she is worth it. But, as I told you before, I don’t listen to me as much as I should.
A lot of people tell me that they read this because they can relate. If that is true, there must be some of you out there who are living alone for the first time in a while. How do you do it? Is your freezer full of Hot Pockets? Do you miss having someone to hug? Do you sleep on the couch (when there isn’t a little munchkin spending the night)?
If you do have a family at your house, do you appreciate them? You know, marriages go through ups and downs. So many people are ready to quit and run when things get bad. There are bad times in every marriage and if you stick them out, you will never be sorry. Those are the times that test you. I read something the other day. It went something like this:
Integrity is doing what you said you would do when you said you would do it and in the manner in which you said you would do it.
I like that. When people marry, they take a vow that leaves no room for misunderstanding. I don’t care if marriage is passe nowadays, integrity isn’t. And it isn’t something that you should have because you owe anyone else something. You owe it to yourself. That isn’t something that I came up with, I heard it in a very old play:
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
When attempting to teach my children how to live their lives, I would tell them to look at people who’s lives they admire. Then, try to behave something like they behave. Or, look at someone who’s life you wouldn’t ever want and don’t do what they do. I admit that it is pretty vague, but I think they got the point. I don’t visit them in prison and they are all very decent people. I don’t know how a nut like me got so lucky in the kid department, but I did. None of them are married yet but I have faith that when they do get married, they will make me proud. They still come to me with their problems and I have no reason to think they will stop anytime soon. When they eventually come to me with marital problems, I will be ready. And, barring abuse of any sort, I will always tell them to stick it out. There is little else as valuable as a long marriage and no other investment will pay off as handsomely.
I have worked in nursing homes quite a bit and I have seen some of the longest marriages out there. 50 and 60 year marriages are common and I have even had the privilege of meeting one couple who had been married for 75 years. There isn’t anything much more touching than seeing a husband sitting next to his infirmed wife, holding her hand and looking for some sign of recognition. They visit everyday and they sit there for hours on end. Only a very long marriage could evoke that type of devotion.
There was one couple that shared a room. They had been married for over 76 years. They were both in their 90’s and every night when I went into their room, the wife would say, “Daddy, are you cold? Would you cover him up Meg? He is always so cold.”
He was no longer able to complain about being cold and I don’t think he even knew it was cold but I always made sure to cover him up well, for her. Then one day I came to work and learned that he had died. The scene couldn’t have been more heartrending. I had to leave the room quickly that night, I didn’t want her to see me crying.
She died two weeks later. I guess she had no one to take care of anymore either. What a shame that some people will never know what a treasure they have in a devoted spouse because they jumped ship when things got tough. If you live long enough to be a very old man or woman, who will be sure that you are covered up?
Meg
I awoke next to a pretty little girl this morning. She was just sitting on the bed waiting for me to wake up. When I did, she gave me the biggest hug a little girl can give. Aren’t hugs great? Why is that? How can another person putting their arms around you heal so much? I love a big ol’ hug first thing in the morning.
I don’t get many of those lately, morning or otherwise. Think about all of the people that hug you, wouldn’t you miss them if they all disappeared? It seems as though it were only yesterday that I had a house full of people to hug. Then, one at a time, they all moved out. My daughter couldn’t stand Rick so she left the first chance she got. My youngest went away to college in 2000 and never came back. Then my oldest moved out. Of course, Rick left last.
I always wanted to raise independent kids but I think I should have kept one at home. Don’t be too hard on kids who still live at home, they might have a parent that needs them. I would never ask one of them to move back in, but I would be tickled pink if one did right now.
Having another person in the house would be so nice. You don’t really cook much when you’re alone, at least I don’t. When someone else is here, I make sure that there are meals on the table and that the house is clean. I haven’t been alone long enough to do all of that for myself. I should, if I were speaking to my best friend I would tell her that she is worth it. But, as I told you before, I don’t listen to me as much as I should.
A lot of people tell me that they read this because they can relate. If that is true, there must be some of you out there who are living alone for the first time in a while. How do you do it? Is your freezer full of Hot Pockets? Do you miss having someone to hug? Do you sleep on the couch (when there isn’t a little munchkin spending the night)?
If you do have a family at your house, do you appreciate them? You know, marriages go through ups and downs. So many people are ready to quit and run when things get bad. There are bad times in every marriage and if you stick them out, you will never be sorry. Those are the times that test you. I read something the other day. It went something like this:
Integrity is doing what you said you would do when you said you would do it and in the manner in which you said you would do it.
I like that. When people marry, they take a vow that leaves no room for misunderstanding. I don’t care if marriage is passe nowadays, integrity isn’t. And it isn’t something that you should have because you owe anyone else something. You owe it to yourself. That isn’t something that I came up with, I heard it in a very old play:
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
When attempting to teach my children how to live their lives, I would tell them to look at people who’s lives they admire. Then, try to behave something like they behave. Or, look at someone who’s life you wouldn’t ever want and don’t do what they do. I admit that it is pretty vague, but I think they got the point. I don’t visit them in prison and they are all very decent people. I don’t know how a nut like me got so lucky in the kid department, but I did. None of them are married yet but I have faith that when they do get married, they will make me proud. They still come to me with their problems and I have no reason to think they will stop anytime soon. When they eventually come to me with marital problems, I will be ready. And, barring abuse of any sort, I will always tell them to stick it out. There is little else as valuable as a long marriage and no other investment will pay off as handsomely.
I have worked in nursing homes quite a bit and I have seen some of the longest marriages out there. 50 and 60 year marriages are common and I have even had the privilege of meeting one couple who had been married for 75 years. There isn’t anything much more touching than seeing a husband sitting next to his infirmed wife, holding her hand and looking for some sign of recognition. They visit everyday and they sit there for hours on end. Only a very long marriage could evoke that type of devotion.
There was one couple that shared a room. They had been married for over 76 years. They were both in their 90’s and every night when I went into their room, the wife would say, “Daddy, are you cold? Would you cover him up Meg? He is always so cold.”
He was no longer able to complain about being cold and I don’t think he even knew it was cold but I always made sure to cover him up well, for her. Then one day I came to work and learned that he had died. The scene couldn’t have been more heartrending. I had to leave the room quickly that night, I didn’t want her to see me crying.
She died two weeks later. I guess she had no one to take care of anymore either. What a shame that some people will never know what a treasure they have in a devoted spouse because they jumped ship when things got tough. If you live long enough to be a very old man or woman, who will be sure that you are covered up?
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:03 AM
7 Comments:
I just hate it when you make me cry :o)
Does trying to smother your husband with a pillow count as trying to cover him up?
I just love it when you make me laugh.
Meg
I have a large house with numerous bedrooms, and night after night I find myself curling up on the couch to sleep. It's almost like feeling it would be a waste to mess up the covers on a bed just for me to sleep on.
My fridge usually contains Diet Pepsi and some fruit. There's def. Hot Pockets in the freezer. :)
I miss cooking for people.
Yep, empty, well made beds. Wish we could make a big cyber stew to share.
Meg
I never lived alone, until my wife left last September. I'm learning, but I'm not very good at it yet.
It's true I have the children on weekends. They keep me human when I start slipping. Where would I be without those hugs? But meals during the week... hmmm not very impressive. Cooking for one? A strange idea.
I suppose better self-esteem would help that. I deserve to eat better than this!
Thanks Meg for teaching me so much stuff... Hey, you said that most people deserve better than living in a house with dirty dishes in it... that struck me as very profound, it's an issue I've been having trouble with. SO! I dug out an old dish-washing machine that someone gave us a couple of years ago... (and we never installed it because it's ecologically unsound and politically incorrect) and I plugged it in!
You changed my life Meg... thank you...
Next : clean up my bedroom. If you asked me to do it, Meg, I'm sure I could manage.
... add a big fat ironic winking smiley to that last comment. No, you are not my mother, Meg...
I never took it as though you meant that I was! My VEX left last September too...I finally got my room clean, you can do yours...before you know it, there will be clean bedrooms in single people's places all over...Who knows will come of it!
Meg
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