I’d tell you what I did today...
...but it would bore the hell out of people who watch paid programming. I accomplished absolutely nothing and that was pretty much the plan. I did it and I did it well. And, I haven’t finished yet, I have some more nothing to do later.
I just figured I shouldn’t sit around and wait for something to happen and THEN write about it. I’m home all by myself and unless the dog starts to chat with me, nothing will probably transpire worth writing about.
Oh, I did avoid some Jehovah’s Witness’s earlier. There are three cars in the two driveways (OK two and a half, the Mustang is still minus a transmission.) and it would be sort of tough to believe that no one was home. But, it COULD happen.
And, I had an awful toaster experience earlier. I stuck four of those frozen french toast sticks in the slot and they all fell down under the toaster rack thing when it popped up. I turned it upside down and tried to dump them out but they wouldn’t come out. I just chopped them up trying to get them out that way. So, I went in through the bottom. After I got the chopped pieces off of the bottom, the chopped pieces above the wire thing fell out. All but one half of one french toast stick came out and that piece is still right there. I have crumbs all over the counter from the toaster struggle.
Then, I put my syrup in the microwave. They make a bottle specifically engineered to microwave and I stuck it in there...for 1 and a half minutes. That bottle swelled up like Veronica what’s her name from Willy Wonka.
I pulled it out and opened it and it blew up at me. Hot syrup all over myself. That was fun. And it was one of those things that you know you shouldn’t do but you don’t realize it until the brain has sent the signal and you can’t stop yourself from causing the impending danger. My fingers were about to apply pressure to the swollen container of Eggo syrup when my brain said, “Uh oh.”
There was nothing that I could do to stop it and now my shirt is full of syrup and the counter is full of crumbs. Being a slob helps get me out of so many unpleasant little obligations. When I’m sitting at my desk with syrup on my shirt, I’m not opening the door to anyone, not a Jehovah’s Witness, not a neighbor, no one. And, I can’t be expected to go out like this so I don’t. I don’t have any milk...but I can do without the Fruity Pebbles for now.
So, that pretty much sums up my day so far. The dog is attacking me with his big slimy boxer cheeks and I don’t mean to sound like a ballbuster, but trust me...that dog’s balls are history. He hasn’t humped my leg yet but I don’t want to be there when he gets a yen to. So...off with his testicles. It worked for the cat. I never tried it on Rick. It’s not that I didn’t think of it, it’s just that with my hair color, a blue dot would sort of clash with anything I might wear.
Well, I need to do nothing in the other room now so I’m gonna go away. But, when I get bored of what I’m doing, I’ll be back to tell you about it.
Meg
...but it would bore the hell out of people who watch paid programming. I accomplished absolutely nothing and that was pretty much the plan. I did it and I did it well. And, I haven’t finished yet, I have some more nothing to do later.
I just figured I shouldn’t sit around and wait for something to happen and THEN write about it. I’m home all by myself and unless the dog starts to chat with me, nothing will probably transpire worth writing about.
Oh, I did avoid some Jehovah’s Witness’s earlier. There are three cars in the two driveways (OK two and a half, the Mustang is still minus a transmission.) and it would be sort of tough to believe that no one was home. But, it COULD happen.
And, I had an awful toaster experience earlier. I stuck four of those frozen french toast sticks in the slot and they all fell down under the toaster rack thing when it popped up. I turned it upside down and tried to dump them out but they wouldn’t come out. I just chopped them up trying to get them out that way. So, I went in through the bottom. After I got the chopped pieces off of the bottom, the chopped pieces above the wire thing fell out. All but one half of one french toast stick came out and that piece is still right there. I have crumbs all over the counter from the toaster struggle.
Then, I put my syrup in the microwave. They make a bottle specifically engineered to microwave and I stuck it in there...for 1 and a half minutes. That bottle swelled up like Veronica what’s her name from Willy Wonka.
I pulled it out and opened it and it blew up at me. Hot syrup all over myself. That was fun. And it was one of those things that you know you shouldn’t do but you don’t realize it until the brain has sent the signal and you can’t stop yourself from causing the impending danger. My fingers were about to apply pressure to the swollen container of Eggo syrup when my brain said, “Uh oh.”
There was nothing that I could do to stop it and now my shirt is full of syrup and the counter is full of crumbs. Being a slob helps get me out of so many unpleasant little obligations. When I’m sitting at my desk with syrup on my shirt, I’m not opening the door to anyone, not a Jehovah’s Witness, not a neighbor, no one. And, I can’t be expected to go out like this so I don’t. I don’t have any milk...but I can do without the Fruity Pebbles for now.
So, that pretty much sums up my day so far. The dog is attacking me with his big slimy boxer cheeks and I don’t mean to sound like a ballbuster, but trust me...that dog’s balls are history. He hasn’t humped my leg yet but I don’t want to be there when he gets a yen to. So...off with his testicles. It worked for the cat. I never tried it on Rick. It’s not that I didn’t think of it, it’s just that with my hair color, a blue dot would sort of clash with anything I might wear.
Well, I need to do nothing in the other room now so I’m gonna go away. But, when I get bored of what I’m doing, I’ll be back to tell you about it.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 2:32 PM
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