I was just thinking...
...that I should just about be done paying the money that I owe the probation people. Then, I went to get the paperwork so I could be sure and I can't find it to save my life.
I fully admit to being a full fledge ding dong. I'm not a moron, I'm actually quite bright. That only serves to make it very confusing that I'm such a flake. I've been an airhead for quite a while now even though I graduated from college Summa Cum Laude...go figure.
I'm not the type of airhead who they stop on the street and show pictures of the Vice President and ask, "Who is this?" and then the nut says, "That old guy who used to be on the news...Johnny Carson!" Nope. I know who the VP is and I always know who the pictures are. I can answer more than half of the questions on Jeopardy and I read encyclopedia for fun. But, if I put my glasses down, I can't find them for days. Once I lost 3 pair in a week, bought 3 new ones and then found all 3 in one day. Thank God for that, I wouldn't have been able to buy glasses after Rick left if I didn't have all 3 pair...I'm on the last pair now. I better not sit on them or I'm really screwed.
It's not easy being smart and flighty, people don't expect you to be so dingy when you're as bright as I am. But, damn...I sure am a nit wit. For THAT alone, Rick shouldn't have left me here by myself.
I could probably come up with some great crime and plan it all down to the last detail and even execute the crime perfectly...except that I would be stuffing all the cash in my purse and somehow my license would fall out and then the cops would be at my house when I got home.
The nice thing about being such a flake is that people who know you're a flake can be fooled with very little effort. And men...JEEZ! They THINK that women are stupid so that's why we can get away with so much with them. "I'm sorry, was that YOUR Visa? I could have sworn it was mine...mine says Visa too!"
Being underestimated by men is one way that women get through life. It helps to be blonde, but it isn't necessary. Any tit-bearer can get a lot over on a man simply because of being underestimated. That's why I don't mind it when people think I'm stupid. It helps me when I'm in any form of competition with them. Oh! When I go out to shoot pool and run into men who don't know me, I am so dreadfully underestimated that by the time I've kicked their asses a few times they call me a lesbian...that's always fun.
Why do you suppose that men don't expect women to be any good at anything besides cooking and blowjobs? I wish I knew. Oh well, as long as they keep underestimating me, it'll be fine.
Anyway, I still don't know where the paperwork for the probation stuff is...but I bet they keep good records at the courthouse. And I bet it's a bunch of women taking care of all that stuff. Of course, the men are usually the judges but where would they be without the person who keeps all of the files? Speaking of judges...did you notice that the Divorce Court judge is different? I wonder what happened to Judge Mablelean?
Damn...I have to start thinking about my weekend visitors...I should clean some more. Now the only room that I haven't finished is the kitchen and that's because it gets so messed up so quickly that I will do it right before I expect them to get here. Oh, they're bringing her cat...I'll be stuck in this house with two cats and two dogs for as long as they stay in Europe. This should be fun.
OK, time for me to eat some popsicles and watch Seinfeld. I'll be back later!
See ya,
Meg
...that I should just about be done paying the money that I owe the probation people. Then, I went to get the paperwork so I could be sure and I can't find it to save my life.
I fully admit to being a full fledge ding dong. I'm not a moron, I'm actually quite bright. That only serves to make it very confusing that I'm such a flake. I've been an airhead for quite a while now even though I graduated from college Summa Cum Laude...go figure.
I'm not the type of airhead who they stop on the street and show pictures of the Vice President and ask, "Who is this?" and then the nut says, "That old guy who used to be on the news...Johnny Carson!" Nope. I know who the VP is and I always know who the pictures are. I can answer more than half of the questions on Jeopardy and I read encyclopedia for fun. But, if I put my glasses down, I can't find them for days. Once I lost 3 pair in a week, bought 3 new ones and then found all 3 in one day. Thank God for that, I wouldn't have been able to buy glasses after Rick left if I didn't have all 3 pair...I'm on the last pair now. I better not sit on them or I'm really screwed.
It's not easy being smart and flighty, people don't expect you to be so dingy when you're as bright as I am. But, damn...I sure am a nit wit. For THAT alone, Rick shouldn't have left me here by myself.
I could probably come up with some great crime and plan it all down to the last detail and even execute the crime perfectly...except that I would be stuffing all the cash in my purse and somehow my license would fall out and then the cops would be at my house when I got home.
The nice thing about being such a flake is that people who know you're a flake can be fooled with very little effort. And men...JEEZ! They THINK that women are stupid so that's why we can get away with so much with them. "I'm sorry, was that YOUR Visa? I could have sworn it was mine...mine says Visa too!"
Being underestimated by men is one way that women get through life. It helps to be blonde, but it isn't necessary. Any tit-bearer can get a lot over on a man simply because of being underestimated. That's why I don't mind it when people think I'm stupid. It helps me when I'm in any form of competition with them. Oh! When I go out to shoot pool and run into men who don't know me, I am so dreadfully underestimated that by the time I've kicked their asses a few times they call me a lesbian...that's always fun.
Why do you suppose that men don't expect women to be any good at anything besides cooking and blowjobs? I wish I knew. Oh well, as long as they keep underestimating me, it'll be fine.
Anyway, I still don't know where the paperwork for the probation stuff is...but I bet they keep good records at the courthouse. And I bet it's a bunch of women taking care of all that stuff. Of course, the men are usually the judges but where would they be without the person who keeps all of the files? Speaking of judges...did you notice that the Divorce Court judge is different? I wonder what happened to Judge Mablelean?
Damn...I have to start thinking about my weekend visitors...I should clean some more. Now the only room that I haven't finished is the kitchen and that's because it gets so messed up so quickly that I will do it right before I expect them to get here. Oh, they're bringing her cat...I'll be stuck in this house with two cats and two dogs for as long as they stay in Europe. This should be fun.
OK, time for me to eat some popsicles and watch Seinfeld. I'll be back later!
See ya,
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 2:52 PM
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