It’s time to start cooking...
...for tomorrow evening so I’m trying to avoid that for a few more minutes. I was thinking about the doctor appointment and getting irritated over the insurance.
I guess I have no one to blame but myself for trying to be nice to Rick…it was stupid because I was ending up costing myself so much more money after trying to let him off part of the alimony. He will have to pay so much more for insurance. I still think that I should bear a bit of the burden, but I had it figured so that it wouldn’t cost him anymore than he’s paying now while I would not only receive less than half of the amount for alimony, I would also have to pay a huge deductible with that changeover.
I can't really fault him, all he did was go for the idea. But I have to stop worrying about other people. Why do we women do that so much? It never seems to pay off for us, but we still try to do whatever we can to make things easier for other people at our own expense. It wouldn't be so stupid if other people cared at all about us and what we're dealing with...but they don't seem to. Rick sure as hell doesn't worry about what I'm going through...why would I go so far out of my way to help him out of the situation that he totally created? This wasn't my idea...it was his.
Everything about my life has changed and even if it's getting better, it still isn't the life that I was promised. I'm not supposed to have to handle everything by myself and be without someone to talk to everyday. I'm not supposed to worry about getting the leaves out of the gutter or why the ice maker doesn't work in the new fridge. It wasn't my job to take out the trash and mow the lawn. That was his job. The lawn is still here and so am I. Nothing is being cared for like it should have been because I never agreed to take this all on by myself.
He moved into his mother's house, she died and now he lives in a house that was already there, ready for him. He just pulled up in the driveway, put his clothes in a closet and went to work. He picked up his life without having to worry about anything but paying what he owes me and now I catch myself offering him an easy way out while I'm trying to figure out how to take care of myself and the house that he brought me to. It had to be in a state where I don't know anyone...just to be funny.
He's still being dishonest and he knows it. But we politely discuss other things and he still tries to make me think that he lives all by himself with his son and he has no life outside of working and caring for his step-father. That just pisses me off to no end.
OK...I have to make Thanksgiving dinner tonight since I have to work tomorrow. I'll eat when I get home and since the oven is still broken and I haven't had the time to replace it, I'll buy a turkey that was aleardy cooked. Tonight I'll make the mashed potatoes, deviled eggs and a pie. I'll make a few other things and then when I get home from work I'll just have to nuke it all and sit at the table.
See ya later!
Meg
...for tomorrow evening so I’m trying to avoid that for a few more minutes. I was thinking about the doctor appointment and getting irritated over the insurance.
I guess I have no one to blame but myself for trying to be nice to Rick…it was stupid because I was ending up costing myself so much more money after trying to let him off part of the alimony. He will have to pay so much more for insurance. I still think that I should bear a bit of the burden, but I had it figured so that it wouldn’t cost him anymore than he’s paying now while I would not only receive less than half of the amount for alimony, I would also have to pay a huge deductible with that changeover.
I can't really fault him, all he did was go for the idea. But I have to stop worrying about other people. Why do we women do that so much? It never seems to pay off for us, but we still try to do whatever we can to make things easier for other people at our own expense. It wouldn't be so stupid if other people cared at all about us and what we're dealing with...but they don't seem to. Rick sure as hell doesn't worry about what I'm going through...why would I go so far out of my way to help him out of the situation that he totally created? This wasn't my idea...it was his.
Everything about my life has changed and even if it's getting better, it still isn't the life that I was promised. I'm not supposed to have to handle everything by myself and be without someone to talk to everyday. I'm not supposed to worry about getting the leaves out of the gutter or why the ice maker doesn't work in the new fridge. It wasn't my job to take out the trash and mow the lawn. That was his job. The lawn is still here and so am I. Nothing is being cared for like it should have been because I never agreed to take this all on by myself.
He moved into his mother's house, she died and now he lives in a house that was already there, ready for him. He just pulled up in the driveway, put his clothes in a closet and went to work. He picked up his life without having to worry about anything but paying what he owes me and now I catch myself offering him an easy way out while I'm trying to figure out how to take care of myself and the house that he brought me to. It had to be in a state where I don't know anyone...just to be funny.
He's still being dishonest and he knows it. But we politely discuss other things and he still tries to make me think that he lives all by himself with his son and he has no life outside of working and caring for his step-father. That just pisses me off to no end.
OK...I have to make Thanksgiving dinner tonight since I have to work tomorrow. I'll eat when I get home and since the oven is still broken and I haven't had the time to replace it, I'll buy a turkey that was aleardy cooked. Tonight I'll make the mashed potatoes, deviled eggs and a pie. I'll make a few other things and then when I get home from work I'll just have to nuke it all and sit at the table.
See ya later!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 12:41 PM
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