My appointment was delayed so...
...I'm still here. I was laughing at the comment about nipple hair on women who are entering their seasoned years. (We're not getting older, we're just getting spicier!) There are quite a few odd things that happen to women as they pick up their seasoning, and most of them are quite a surprise to us. For example, the lady with nipple hair. I haven't found any of those YET...but my toes have begun to sprout hairs that make me wonder if I'm about to turn into a werewolf.
Other interesting things that have happened to me include, odd areas of my skin that are now a different color, "things" that suddenly grow out of my skin...stupid little things that just appear one day, I have no clue what they are. Also, I've noticed that no matter how much I work out, it's never a good idea to wave bye-bye with a sleeve-less shirt on. I've started to take those Jello Jiggler commercials rather personally.
Of course, everyone knows about gray hair but they mean nothing. My sister started getting gray hairs in her twenties and I'm about a minute and a half away from 50 and I can still pluck those suckers out as they appear. Apparently the signs of age take a toll on other members of the family too...my brother couldn't handle my mom's gray hair so she died it for him.
Oh, those damn liver spots! What the hell are they all about? I used to have a freckle on each of my hands...in the same place on both hands...I called them my "matching freckles". Now there are so many liver spots on my hands that if I showed you my matching freckles, you'd say, "Well, there are so many spots on your hands that two of them are bound to match at some point!" I don't show off my matching freckles anymore. And why they're called liver spots is beyond me...there's nothing wrong with my liver and it's nowhere NEAR my hands.
As women age, the "flat on your back" position becomes the most attractive position to lie in when we're naked. Being flat on your back help things appear to be where they should be while side lying isn't a very good idea at all. Of course, I expect that there will come a time when even the back lying position isn't any good either...but for now, it certainly is best for me.
Another thing about being older is the clothes that are appropriate for us. I think I'm supposed to shop in another department but the clothes that I like are in the junior department. I went to buy a pair of jeans a couple of weeks ago and all I could find were low rise jeans. Although I should just be happy that I can still wear them, I wear long shirts over them and my "Grandma" panties under them. I have bikini panties, but they're so uncomfortable that I only wear them when there's a possibility that someone besides myself might be taking them off.
With age I've become far too comfortable in bathrobes and I tend to wear them for a bit more of the day than I used to. It doesn't help that there's not a man in my house, I can walk around dressed in whatever I want to be dressed in. It's a shame that comfy clothes and attractive clothes can't be spliced into the same garment.
There are some absolutely wonderful things about becoming seasoned...and I can't wait for one of them...I get to act like an idiot and then explain it away by saying, "I'm an old lady, cut me some slack!" I'm not there yet, but I am looking forward to it.
I already appreciate those small blankets that hang over the backs of chairs so I can grab them and put them over my lap when I get cold. I'm offended at most of the things they allow on television and I long for the days when Jeanie's belly button was too risque for family programming. When my kids listen to music, I say the same things that my parents said when I listened to Grand Funk Railroad.
I don't FEEL like a senior citizen but recently a friend told me that he started getting AARP magazines when he turned 50. If AARP dares to send ME a magazine next summer, they'll have some serious bitching to deal with. But they should be used to it what with all the crazy old ladies they do cater to.
I need to take a nap now. That isn't age, it's sick. I feel like shit and I must go lie down closer to the scene of my last chunk blow.
See ya!
Meg
...I'm still here. I was laughing at the comment about nipple hair on women who are entering their seasoned years. (We're not getting older, we're just getting spicier!) There are quite a few odd things that happen to women as they pick up their seasoning, and most of them are quite a surprise to us. For example, the lady with nipple hair. I haven't found any of those YET...but my toes have begun to sprout hairs that make me wonder if I'm about to turn into a werewolf.
Other interesting things that have happened to me include, odd areas of my skin that are now a different color, "things" that suddenly grow out of my skin...stupid little things that just appear one day, I have no clue what they are. Also, I've noticed that no matter how much I work out, it's never a good idea to wave bye-bye with a sleeve-less shirt on. I've started to take those Jello Jiggler commercials rather personally.
Of course, everyone knows about gray hair but they mean nothing. My sister started getting gray hairs in her twenties and I'm about a minute and a half away from 50 and I can still pluck those suckers out as they appear. Apparently the signs of age take a toll on other members of the family too...my brother couldn't handle my mom's gray hair so she died it for him.
Oh, those damn liver spots! What the hell are they all about? I used to have a freckle on each of my hands...in the same place on both hands...I called them my "matching freckles". Now there are so many liver spots on my hands that if I showed you my matching freckles, you'd say, "Well, there are so many spots on your hands that two of them are bound to match at some point!" I don't show off my matching freckles anymore. And why they're called liver spots is beyond me...there's nothing wrong with my liver and it's nowhere NEAR my hands.
As women age, the "flat on your back" position becomes the most attractive position to lie in when we're naked. Being flat on your back help things appear to be where they should be while side lying isn't a very good idea at all. Of course, I expect that there will come a time when even the back lying position isn't any good either...but for now, it certainly is best for me.
Another thing about being older is the clothes that are appropriate for us. I think I'm supposed to shop in another department but the clothes that I like are in the junior department. I went to buy a pair of jeans a couple of weeks ago and all I could find were low rise jeans. Although I should just be happy that I can still wear them, I wear long shirts over them and my "Grandma" panties under them. I have bikini panties, but they're so uncomfortable that I only wear them when there's a possibility that someone besides myself might be taking them off.
With age I've become far too comfortable in bathrobes and I tend to wear them for a bit more of the day than I used to. It doesn't help that there's not a man in my house, I can walk around dressed in whatever I want to be dressed in. It's a shame that comfy clothes and attractive clothes can't be spliced into the same garment.
There are some absolutely wonderful things about becoming seasoned...and I can't wait for one of them...I get to act like an idiot and then explain it away by saying, "I'm an old lady, cut me some slack!" I'm not there yet, but I am looking forward to it.
I already appreciate those small blankets that hang over the backs of chairs so I can grab them and put them over my lap when I get cold. I'm offended at most of the things they allow on television and I long for the days when Jeanie's belly button was too risque for family programming. When my kids listen to music, I say the same things that my parents said when I listened to Grand Funk Railroad.
I don't FEEL like a senior citizen but recently a friend told me that he started getting AARP magazines when he turned 50. If AARP dares to send ME a magazine next summer, they'll have some serious bitching to deal with. But they should be used to it what with all the crazy old ladies they do cater to.
I need to take a nap now. That isn't age, it's sick. I feel like shit and I must go lie down closer to the scene of my last chunk blow.
See ya!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 10:37 AM
11 Comments:
After I went into menopause...I noticed I had to shave my legs less....but I have to wax my upper lip regularly now...lol.
don't get me started on the wings under my upper arms either. I CANNOT get them to go away.
And...the laying on my back pose works well if I wear a bra...if not....my boobs usually end up under my armpits : )
Tracie
Meg, I love you! Your friend is correct, the day you turn 50 expect AARP magazine shortly thereafter.It is actually pretty good to read so I'm enjoying it. I hate those skin tags but like not having to shave my legs so much... I do not wave goodbye anymore!
I am allegedly in perimenopause. So, I get the hot flashes at night, heart palpitations and a whole host of other crap. I just want it all taken out so I can be done with it, but the doctor won't let me. It's not like I need it any more. Sheesh.
Perimenopause? What the hell is that? Tell the doctor who diagnosed you with that to write you a prescription for Xanax if you're perimenopausal. But...and trust me here...if hot flashes and palpitations are your problem, a hysterectomy isn't the answer. Lose the womb, but don't let them take your ovaries, at least not both of them. A low dose Inderal or other beta-blocker will help the palpitations a LOT...it will stop them. Whatever you do, keep at least one ovary!!!! At night they are night sweats, during the day they are hot flashes. If you want ALL of that and many more problems, let them take both ovaries and you'll go into estrogen withdrawal and end up with hair on your nipples.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that!)
Women do have testosterone and when the estrogen is gone, the testosterone takes over. Then they give you hormone replacements and you have a stroke. Life's a bitch and then you die....no way out of that.
:):):)
Perimenopause? Don't get me started!! I had a hysterectomy some time ago (other gynae issues - and I kept my ovaries) and I am now in peri, although the hot flashes, etc, are under control.
I read a good book recently, "What your doctor may not tell you about premenopause" and Dr John Lee, who wrote the book, recommends natural progesterone cream. I have been using it for a few weeks and things seem to have levelled out a bit - especially the mood swings. I am also taking a menopause herbal formula, containing black cohosh and agnus castus.
Dr Lee has a website where you can find more information on progesterone:
http://www.johnleemd.com/store/nat_progesterone.html
For more information on peri, the Power Surge forum is excellent.
Great...now I need to know why not take both ovaries since I had a full hysterectomy 2 years ago. I had cysts on both of them...presumed cancerous...but when checked after it they weren't. But...my family has a history of large cysts and it would have just kept occuring. I also can't take hormones since I have some other health issues that make it dangerous.
I exercise 4 times a week...and that has seemed to help alot of the symptoms of menopause. Except for the occasional bouts of rage...but I have 2 teenagers and a long term boyfriend here with me...THEY are the cause for my anger...and I am sticking to that story : )
Have a good weekend!
Tracie
I already take Tenormin, and the palpitations have increased over the past 2 or 3 weeks, even with an increase in the dosage. He can't increase the dosage any more because my resting heart rate would be well below 60. Right now it's around 62. I'll be getting another Holter monitor on the 16th. I just get tons of PVCs and PACs each day. The cardiologist says many people live with thousands of them a day and are not dangerous because my heart is structurally fine. Mine come in waves...an hour or so with bad ones, then a few hours with none. He'll do the Holter thing again to make sure it's not something different. I'm thinking I need something like Lexapro to help reduce the anxiety the effin palpitations give me. Bastards.
My ovaries are a HUGE part of my problem. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and I'd like to have those suckers gone. Women with my problem have a very increased risk of endometrial cancer, and I'd prefer NOT to wait around for THAT to happen. Sometimes birth control pills help the situation, but even the low dose pills increase blood pressure in my eyes to dangerous levels. The progersterone-only mini pills cause insulin resistance to be even worse (which is where my fat ass came from in the first place and why carbs are like the devil for me)
So, I'd agree with you if my hormones worked in some way that even resembles normal to start with. But, they kick my ass on a regular basis, so, I'm sick of the whole mess. I have an adhesion between my left ovary and my large intestine that causes excruciating pain during ovulation...yep, I can tell you the exact moment that little slice of heaven occurs. It's probably the biggest cause of my IBS. The risk of surgery to cut the adhesion doesn't outweigh the risks, plus, it would most likely grow back. I suffer from pelvic pain on a regular basis, hence the need for transvaginal ultrasounds on a semi-regular basis. Just google PCOS and you'll see a list of symptoms, the majority of which I experience all the time. Luckily, I don't have male pattern baldness. That one would REALLY piss me off.
YIKES! All you mentioned was flashes and palpitations...yeah, you have a bit more going on now....I guess you might want to check another doctor to see if he'll take it all out, now I don't blame you.
The reason I said not to let them take both ovaries was they took mine for no reason whatsoever except I was afraid of ovarian cancer. Then I learned that you can still get peritonial cancer which is just as ominous. I was so angry because I told him why I wanted them out. He could have just taken one and cut my chances in half, but nope...like a jack ass I let him take both of them. If you have problems with the ovaries, by all means listen to your doctor. Mine was just knife happy. Yes, I save on tampons, but I'm not sure whether or not toe hair was worth the few bucks a month.
I take inderal and that works great for my palpitations but when you start talking about PVCs, PACs and holter monitors, you're problem is worse than hormones, I would think. Did you go see a cardiologist? They're right, people do live years with them. But I can't get off my bed when I have the palpitations. I took the last one last night and now my son has gone to the store to pick up my refill so I'm going back to bed until he gets home. Then, I'll take my pills and when they work, I'll be back.
:)
BUT...I STILL RECCOMMEND THAT XANAX! SCREW LEXAPRO!
Yep, I see a cardiologist affiliated with University of Penn. I also see a reproductive endocrinologist at Penn, not just an ob/gyn, to deal with the PCOS. When I first started with the palpitations, I did the Holter monitor, and had a thallium sress test at Deborah Heart and Lung center here in NJ. That was almost 3 years ago, but, there wasn't a thing wrong. The cardiologist said he could count on one hand the number of totally negative reports he's gotten from Deborah...they always find something "just in case." I've since had negative echocardiograms too. So, while the flip-flops in my chest freak me out, they're not harmful. I had high blood pressure, although it wasn't out of control...it was about 140/90, but they gave me Avalide as a precaution because of other risk factors (my fat ass.) I also had high cholesterol, which I could only get down to 222 with diet and exercise. I now take Lipitor, and it's down to 148. I forget the breakdown of which number is which, but apparently, the levels are all right where they should be. Both docs believe the palpitations are a combination of anxiety and hormonal changes, 'cause my hormones are out of control to begin with. I also asked what the hell "perimenopause" was, and the doc said that some refer to it as premenopause, but it's a set of symptoms related to hormonal changes that occur as the body prepares for menopause. Like it really needs prep time, for crying out loud. (one of the perks of having a little brother who is a doctor is that he finds me good docs. He is the one who did the research and recommended the doctors to me)
I go to see my primary care doc next week and I'm gonna ask about the drugs. I do have a few valium tablets in the house, which do help, but I don't wanna use them up. I get the pelvic ultrasound next week, and the monitor in the 16th. I'm 41, but I feel like a little old woman with all the effin tests!
Girl,
It sounds as though you're well cared for as far as docs go...but I would tell them how much the valium helps and that you avoid using them for fear of running out. They should give you enoughso that you aren't worried about running out. I get 90 xanax a month and they last longer so I always have plenty of refills that are out of date so I need NEW orders. But, I never worry about running out and they help tremendously! I started taking them for PMS, another little joy that we women were blessed with. I would be LOOKING for a fight before the xanax. I actually had a MAKE MY DAY attitude and the xanax took care of that. Xanax or valium, doesn't matter, whatever works for you is fine.
I asked the doc when this all ended ended, he said, (as though I were an idiot) "Menopause is for the rest of your life!"
I had only meant the symptoms, I knew I wasn't going throug puberty again. So, I don't know how long this all lasts. But I see really old ladies who don't complain about it so it HAS to end sometime! God, I hope it does, I hate these feelings.
You are too young for all of your BS...I hope they can find you some help soon! Good luck with that!
Meggers
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