I just finished painting my toenails...

...and I was thinking how stupid that was. Why in the world do we decorate ourselves in such silly ways? Why do we paint our toenails and put stuff on our lips but not our elbows? It’s odd that we only decorate the ends of things. We decorate the ends of our legs, arms, even the tips of our nipples. If it sticks out, we paint it with something. Well, not our noses, but everything else that sticks out.

But why don’t we do our nose? I think that we should. We should paint it a color that matches our shoes. I think that would be a good idea. We shouldn't wear brown shoes, we should buy the shoes according to what color our noses are. Maybe we should match our noses with our hair...in that case I think that I should have a green nose to go with the red hair, don’t you? But, on second thought, maybe green is not the best choice for the nose.

I don’t know why men don’t wear make up, some of them would look pretty good with a little mascara and eye liner. I guess the metro-sexual's already do, but I’m talking about the regular guys, the ones that like girls. Have you even gotten a man to put on make-up in the privacy of your own home? That’s always fun. When I was 18 and living in the first place of my own, I got my boyfriend to put on a dress of mine. When he did, the song You are the Woman came on and it was our song after that. I can’t believe that he did that. I wonder if he ever thinks about it or if it’s one of those things that he has a mental block about.

Men would never wear make-up...mainly because it’s a pain in the ass and it takes too much time. Of course, it’s also a female thing so they wouldn’t do it for that reason alone, but it never caught on with men because of the annoying nature of applying it. Since all the other women wear make-up, I have to wear it but I swear, if they would all give up their make-up, I would too. Think of all the money that we would save! Just a tube of lipstick and some blush is at least $10 and if you go to a nice store to buy it, it’s a lot more than that. I don’t go to the nice stores unless they are giving out a free gift with any purchase. I like those things, but I’m starting to accrue a bunch of the bags that you get with the free stuff. My grand-daughter thinks that they're purses so I just give them to her.

I don’t know why anyone ever started putting make-up on, we hear that Cleopatra did that but I doubt that she really started it, she probably saw it on some slave chick and thought that it looked good. She had to use fruit juices and stuff like that so it couldn’t have been very easy...not as easy as putting on a tube of lipstick. Even though ours is relatively easy to apply, I still don’t like it. And what’s up with all the lip liner...I don’t remember using that before and now it seems like you have to. I don’t know why. Eye liner is annoying enough. And...it’s dangerous. You can do some serious eye damage with one of those pencils. Why would anyone draw a line on the very edges of their eyes? That’s such a stupid thing to do but we do it.

Then we change the colors of our eyes with contact lenses, that seems kind of odd. I did it once, I bought some green lenses. They were the cheap kind, they were all green except in the middle (so everything that you saw wasn’t green.). The good ones look something like cat eyes and they have clear around the perimeter. But I was in my twenties and just bought the cheapest kind. They floated all over my eyeball so that the sclera was even green. Of course I only wore them the one time, I couldn’t just keep on having green sclera.

We die our hair, paint our faces and nails, wear colored lenses and tattoo ourselves. We poke holes in every part of us even the most extremely sensitive parts of our bodies...YIKES...I saw a woman come out of a shower with a glistening thing between her legs. That hurt just to look at!

I bet it wouldn’t be too tough to come up with another stupid fad, if people will put rings on their necks so that their head is a foot above their shoulders, then what wouldn’t folks do? You know, in trying to come up with a weird fad, I find it tough to beat putting holes all over your body. That’s pretty icky. I have double pierced ears, but I had to drink 3 scotches to have that done. I was only supposed to get one but after all of the Chivas, I didn’t feel it so in a rather tipsy way, I said, "Do it again!"

In the mid 70’s, I went to a movie on a date called Mandingo or something like that and it had some tribal dudes putting wood spiky things through their chests. It was some sort of rite of passage. I remember thinking how stupid that was and I was only 16 or so. It never occurred to me that anyone in a civilized country would go out of their way to push crap through their skin.

But then again, I do put on eye liner so I can’t be too righteous about this crap. But I do think that we should make the men wear it or else we should just take it all off. Even some of the women who burned their bras put their make up on before they lit the first B cup. That was insane. I think we are far too enslaved to our beauty regimes and we spend far too much money on that stuff.

Well, I have to go do my fingernails now so I'll see you later.

Meg