Hello!

I'm sitting at the computer trying to write to you. It's tough because I'm also listening to...oops, never mind, I don't want anyone to get mad at me. But trust me...it's tough to write at this moment. But...I'm gonna try anyway.

I have to go tomorrow to have the port put in. I'll be getting some medication that has to go in IV and I have no veins left so they're gonna use an implanted port instead. I hate that thought but it'll be over 24 hours from now. So, I'm not going to dwell on it.

I have no idea how the pay period at work works so I don't know if I'll get paid this week or not. I did get a paycheck last pay period but I didn't work for awhile so I figured that I would miss one paycheck. But then someone said that this week was payday and that Saturday was the last day of the pay period. If that's true, I should get paid Thursday. But I don't see how if I was off for so long. The only thing that I can figure is that I worked the beginning of the last pay period and the end of this one. That would sort of makes sense.

Since I can't ever trust my own brain, I have to act as if I'll be broke until Thanksgiving...just in case. If I'm wrong and I DO get paid this Thursday...it'll just be a nice surprise. Damn...I've confused myself again.

My granddaughter painted my fingernails again while I was sleeping. I usually don't mind but this time she used sparkly polish and that crap is tough to get off.

I had a patient over the weekend who had a sudden thing strike her that pretty much left her totally unresponsive. Her boyfriend sat by her side the entire time that I had her...two nights in a row. It was pretty heartbreaking to watch. It just made Rick look even worse than he did before. I didn't think about it in terms of me...I thought about it in terms of Rick. Here's this woman who pretty much has no hope whatsoever and her boyfriend stayed by her side constantly. I know that he'll leave sooner or later...or maybe not. But for now, he's doing the decent thing and he's doing it because he loves her. There's no other reason, you can tell that he needs for that woman to wake up.

Rick, on the other hand, chose to cheat on his wife of decades. He was cruel about it and he did the exact opposite of the decent thing.

Which man will find it easier to live the rest of his life? That's a tough one. It really is. Will the guy who did the right thing suffer from his loss...or will he find happiness in the end? Will the guy who did the wrong thing be miserable and alone...or will his selfish nature live make it easy for him to live a happy life without guilt?

There's no way to know the answer to that one.

"These are the things that bother me, not a lot of things across some sea."

Meg