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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Friday, June 13, 2008

If I stopped to think about it...

...I would see more stupid shit than I trip over on a daily basis but I don't really want to stop and think too much about stupid shit so I probably miss most of it. It's not even 9 AM yet and I've noticed 2 incredibly stupid things that I actually paid for and brought into my house.

Unfortunately, "Stupid Shit" wasn't printed on them so I had no way of knowing that some moron okayed 2 pieces of crap for sale to the general public.

First, I poured milk in my coffee. That shouldn't be tough, I do it more than once a day and I've been doing it more than once a day since 1972. But I've never bought my milk at Sam's Club before. Apparently, the Sam's hierarchy isn't too bright. They wanted to be able to sell more milk than they had been selling but unfortunately, they could neither make an 8 gallon container nor could they tape 8 gallons of milk together. So, how could Sam's make more money selling milk?

They decided that the 40 year old milk container wasn't good enough. If they made that container into a square, they could ship more at a time. So, they could at least save money on shipping. There's only one problem. You can't pour the milk out of the square container without spilling it all around the thing you're pouring it into. You have to hold the bowl or cup over the sink and pour it that way so that you don't end up with milk all over your kitchen.

That can be rather annoying first thing in the morning. I hadn't had a chance to suck a bit of coffee but still I had to clean up a mess that shouldn't have ever happened in the first place. Thanks, Sam's people. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

Then, I hear my phone ring. But, since I bought a cheap and stupid phone, I get punished because of some stupid yahoo that thought it would be smart to have the base of the phone ring as well. So, you hear two rings and you can't really track down either of them because you can't tell where they're coming from. With two rings, it sounds like they're everywhere. They don't even ring individually, they're in sync with each other so you can't find the phone at all until it stops ringing and you miss the call. Then, you can hit the locate button on the base....that way only the phone rings. But now the phone is useless because you've missed the call.

Why the hell would they make the base ring? It would be one thing if you could answer the base...but there's no way to do that. I've tried many times. After running around for 4 rings looking for the phone, I tried to answer the base. I pushed every stupid button on that thing saying, "Hello?"...."Hello?" But nothing. You can't talk into the base...well you could (and I have), but it won't do any good.

This is just too much frustration for one morning. I'm terribly annoyed now.

Oh! Yesterday I went to the store and while I was there I looked at the light bulbs to see if I could find the right kind for my ceiling fan. I meant to bring the old bulb but I didn't know that I'd be stopping by the store near the bank. I shouldn't have because I didn't have the bulb and I was miles away from my house. But, that didn't stop me and why should it? The stupid bulbs said, "Ceiling Fan" on them. They looked the same as the one at home and they said CEILING FAN! So, I bought them. But, as you can see, the ones that I bought are twice as wide as the ones that I need...but only in the screw in part. The rest of the damn bulb is that same. Now, you tell me....WHY would they need to even MAKE two sizes of screw in parts? Why? Why?

That's just the stupid shit that accosted me. I wasn't looking for that stupid shit at all. If I started looking, I could spend all day listing the stupid shit that I find.

I must say, one of the stupidest things I've ever seen is grass. Why does everyone plant grass in their yards? I went to Phoenix and saw some smart people yards. They were all gravel, sand and cactus. Nobody has to mow gravel, sand or cactus....why don't you guys just put THAT down in your yards instead?

I really need my own planet. This one is just too fucked up.

And on top of ALL of that, it's Friday the 13th. I'm going back to bed.


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