Guten tag!!!

It rained last night so I can't play in the dirt today like I did yesterday. I sat on the ground following ivy back to the roots along my fence. There's a lot of really large branches hanging off of that ivy out there. One was so bad that all I could do was clip the branches and twigs off of it. It stands there as a monument to the lazy ass men who have lived here.

I thought that the men were supposed to take care of the yard work. I don't know what Rick was doing but he didn't ever pull a stupid weed out of the yard. There's even a tree on our fence line that started out many years ago as a weed too close to the fence to mow. Now it's a full fledged tree and I would need an ax and a couple of men to get it down.

I know about the carbon dioxide thing but I still think that you guys should put rocks and cacti in your yards instead of grass. I can't believe that taking away the green grass of suburbia will screw up the entire eco-sphere. Plant a tree or two if you're worried about that. Leave the grass out in the meadows for cows to eat.

This is just too much maintenance for any one person. I've done more work this summer than had ever been done in that past 10 years. That's why this foot thing is so annoying. It's not like it's too cold to go outside...this is the time of year that you have to battle weeds and bugs.

Oh, the bugs! I just hate bugs and they're all out there in the weeds. I saw one bug that looked like a piece of white fuzz. I thought it was some sort of fungus until it moved. I had to watch that bastard to be sure it was moving and not blowing away. I don't know what the heck it is but it is one goofy looking bug.

I dumped the lawn mower thing out over a patch of weeds last month and the next time I went to pull some of the weeds, I saw a hole in the cut grass I had dumped there. I assumed it was a snake hole. It certainly wasn't a "tiny white piece of fuzz bug" hole. I had to walk over that grass not knowing whether or not a huge rattlesnake was hiding nearby. I don't know what kinds of snakes they have here in Georgia but if they have lizards, I'm sure they have some nasty snakes around this place.

I saw an earwig wandering around yesterday while I was sitting down and pulling weeds. That didn't bother me so much. I was outside. If that earwig had been INSIDE...I would have absolutely flipped out. Once in the 80's I was putting on a pair of panties and looked down to see an earwig in the crotch. I don't know why I looked down at that point, but I did and now I never put on my panties without performing an earwig check. That is NOT a bug you want around any delicate areas. I'd rather have an earwig eat through my brain than to have one in my crotch.

When I could stand up out back and actually tackle the bugs and possible poisonous snakes, I could spend a couple of hours a day out back pulling weeds and ivy yet I barely make a dent. Which brings me back to my original point, WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE PLANT GRASS? If you don't take care of it consistently for years, you will have a shitty yard. Is it really worth all of that work?

Anyway, I think not.