You may remember...
...that I was supposed to be getting one of those "Bundles" from At&T that includes Dish TV or something like that. Whatever they call it, I need a satellite dish installed.
About 10 years ago Rick and I heard on the radio that you could go to this particular gas station here in Atlanta and sign up for satellite TV. It was $99, I remember that. We paid the money and waited for the people to come install our satellite. When they finally came, they weren't able to do anything because of all of the trees around here.
They told me that there isn't a place on our house that would have a clear line of sight to the satellite so that wouldn't be an option for us. They gave us back our money and that was the end of that.
Ever since then, occasionally when I tell that story people respond, "That can't be, we have more trees than anyone and we have a dish." I hear that over and over again. So, when AT&T offered the dish, I really wasn't worried about that problem. Besides, I thought to myself, it's been 10 years, maybe they have some new kind of dish that WOULD work.
So, this past Thursday morning, the Dish dude came over to install the Dish. After walking around my house, he said that the "only possible place to put a dish is on the corner". It's that corner where the stop sign was knocked down in that wreck a couple of weeks ago:
The Dish would be on this corner and the guy would have to wire it to the carport, up the house and over to the OTHER side of the house. The guy who came over couldn't do it, they need to send (Pardon me but this is what it sounded like to me) the "dicksafe" people. What would a dish look like at the end of my driveway? Methinks that it will look rather tacky. Me also thinks that there is a LOT of room for error, what with so many cars driving through my yard.
Oh well, if it really screws up something awful, I can stop it and switch back to Comcast...can't I? There's always at least one of you who can answer my questions so I'm hoping that someone can tell me what I should do in this situation.
Payton made quick work of that dish:
And then he came to thank me...I think.
Who could resist those eyes?
I'm having company this afternoon/evening/night. I should be able to tell you about it soon. One of these days I'll get a guy that I can keep but until then, this one does just fine.
I straightened the house pretty much. I just left stuff that I wouldn't want to screw up, like washing the floor. I'll do that today because if I did it yesterday, I would have already spilled Kool-Aid on it.
The last thing I'll do is me. I don't know if men know this or not, but all women do at least this much stuff for a date (there may be an occasional excpetion to the rules, but I doubt that there are many):
1. shower
2. shave arms
3. shave legs
4. scrub body with something special...loofa, washcloth, apricot scrub, etc.
5. wash face with something special
6. wash hair
7. condition hair
8. make sure feet are good and clean
9. apply deodorant
10. apply lotion to etire body
11. powder entire body
12. choose a perfume and put it on
13. choose underwear
14. moisturize face
15. mouse or styling gel in hair
16. brush teeth
17. gargle
18. wipe moisturizer off of face with a cotton ball soaked in an astringent
19. put on make-up
20. blow dry hair
21. style hair
22. put on hair spray
23. choose clothes
24. put clothes on
25. change mind about the clothes
26. put on a different shirt
27. put on a different pair of pants
28. now we have to change the shirt again
29. choose shoes
30. choose jewelry
31. one last puff of perfume on the wrists and neck, but not too much!
32. one last coat of lipstick
33. check your look in the mirror and then go fix whatever you find wrong
34. Choose purse
35. stick liptick, blush, chewing gum, 2 heart pills and one Xanax in the purse
The tough part is maintaining the look you've created for the entire evening. I'm sure the ladies will let me know if I've left a part out. I know I didn't mention nail salons but that's because I've had to...sniff...do my own nails. Keep in mind that before we go to bed, we have another complete routine that we have to go through only to wake up and start over again. Being a woman in America today is a compellingly daunting task, of that you can be sure.
:(:(:(
...that I was supposed to be getting one of those "Bundles" from At&T that includes Dish TV or something like that. Whatever they call it, I need a satellite dish installed.
About 10 years ago Rick and I heard on the radio that you could go to this particular gas station here in Atlanta and sign up for satellite TV. It was $99, I remember that. We paid the money and waited for the people to come install our satellite. When they finally came, they weren't able to do anything because of all of the trees around here.
They told me that there isn't a place on our house that would have a clear line of sight to the satellite so that wouldn't be an option for us. They gave us back our money and that was the end of that.
Ever since then, occasionally when I tell that story people respond, "That can't be, we have more trees than anyone and we have a dish." I hear that over and over again. So, when AT&T offered the dish, I really wasn't worried about that problem. Besides, I thought to myself, it's been 10 years, maybe they have some new kind of dish that WOULD work.
So, this past Thursday morning, the Dish dude came over to install the Dish. After walking around my house, he said that the "only possible place to put a dish is on the corner". It's that corner where the stop sign was knocked down in that wreck a couple of weeks ago:
The Dish would be on this corner and the guy would have to wire it to the carport, up the house and over to the OTHER side of the house. The guy who came over couldn't do it, they need to send (Pardon me but this is what it sounded like to me) the "dicksafe" people. What would a dish look like at the end of my driveway? Methinks that it will look rather tacky. Me also thinks that there is a LOT of room for error, what with so many cars driving through my yard.
Oh well, if it really screws up something awful, I can stop it and switch back to Comcast...can't I? There's always at least one of you who can answer my questions so I'm hoping that someone can tell me what I should do in this situation.
OK then...it's Sunday so that means that my family gets a nice breakfast. Payton loves bacon and eggs so I made that for him, served over a lovely mixture of Alpo and Kibbles and Bits...for that surprising yet delightful crunch! This is what we started with:
Payton made quick work of that dish:
And then he came to thank me...I think.
Who could resist those eyes?
I'm having company this afternoon/evening/night. I should be able to tell you about it soon. One of these days I'll get a guy that I can keep but until then, this one does just fine.
I straightened the house pretty much. I just left stuff that I wouldn't want to screw up, like washing the floor. I'll do that today because if I did it yesterday, I would have already spilled Kool-Aid on it.
The last thing I'll do is me. I don't know if men know this or not, but all women do at least this much stuff for a date (there may be an occasional excpetion to the rules, but I doubt that there are many):
1. shower
2. shave arms
3. shave legs
4. scrub body with something special...loofa, washcloth, apricot scrub, etc.
5. wash face with something special
6. wash hair
7. condition hair
8. make sure feet are good and clean
9. apply deodorant
10. apply lotion to etire body
11. powder entire body
12. choose a perfume and put it on
13. choose underwear
14. moisturize face
15. mouse or styling gel in hair
16. brush teeth
17. gargle
18. wipe moisturizer off of face with a cotton ball soaked in an astringent
19. put on make-up
20. blow dry hair
21. style hair
22. put on hair spray
23. choose clothes
24. put clothes on
25. change mind about the clothes
26. put on a different shirt
27. put on a different pair of pants
28. now we have to change the shirt again
29. choose shoes
30. choose jewelry
31. one last puff of perfume on the wrists and neck, but not too much!
32. one last coat of lipstick
33. check your look in the mirror and then go fix whatever you find wrong
34. Choose purse
35. stick liptick, blush, chewing gum, 2 heart pills and one Xanax in the purse
The tough part is maintaining the look you've created for the entire evening. I'm sure the ladies will let me know if I've left a part out. I know I didn't mention nail salons but that's because I've had to...sniff...do my own nails. Keep in mind that before we go to bed, we have another complete routine that we have to go through only to wake up and start over again. Being a woman in America today is a compellingly daunting task, of that you can be sure.
:(:(:(
posted by Meg Kelso | 3:58 AM
2 Comments:
Only one Xanax?? LOL!!
:):):)
Yep. Two of them in one evening would knock me out. I take one before I leave and then the other for panic attacks.
On top of that, if I go out and I run into friends, a couple of them will ask me for xanax. If I only have one, I can't give it away!
:)
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