When the grass gets too long...
...I can mow it. When the evil honeysuckle begins to travel along my fence to get at my roses, I can kill that. I can pick up the pine cones and use the blower on the driveways and sidewalks. But there's not a damn thing that I can do to make the phone books stop popping up at the end of my driveways.
I have two driveways because I live on a corner and for some reason, someone put in an extra driveway. At least once a week for the past month, I've been finding phone books at the end of BOTH driveways. And they never come alone, they come in neon yellow bags with 3 or 4 books in each one.
What the heck to you do with those stupid things and how do you make them stop? I can't seem to do find a solution to that problem yet.
How the hell many phone books does one person need? I can look up every McDonald's within a 50 mile radius and I could probably even find a blacksmith if I wanted to. But I can't find Stupid Men With Excess Cash so they do me no good.
I have a stack of phone books in a cabinet that I have to bend over to access and at my age, it's easier to sit at my desk and look up numbers on the computer. Hell, from what I understand, computers even have Stupid Men With Excess Cash. I haven't found one, but I AM looking.
Yesterday when I was mowing the grass, I pushed the mower under a bush without looking too hard to see what I was mowing and I chopped the hell out of half of a phone book. A trillion little pieces of paper were everywhere. To whom does one complain about THAT? I sat there picking up pieces of paper for close to a half an hour, cursing the phantom phone book person who left that thing under my bush. I was so irritated that I finally had to take a pill.
I just let my dog out and when I did, I saw another fricking phone book at the end of my front driveway. If this doesn't stop soon, I'm going to start calling numbers in the books and telling people that some company is spreading a list of numbers to prank call and their number is on it. Then I'll give them the phone number of the phone book company. It probably won't stop the onslaught but it should make me giggle a bit.
...I can mow it. When the evil honeysuckle begins to travel along my fence to get at my roses, I can kill that. I can pick up the pine cones and use the blower on the driveways and sidewalks. But there's not a damn thing that I can do to make the phone books stop popping up at the end of my driveways.
I have two driveways because I live on a corner and for some reason, someone put in an extra driveway. At least once a week for the past month, I've been finding phone books at the end of BOTH driveways. And they never come alone, they come in neon yellow bags with 3 or 4 books in each one.
What the heck to you do with those stupid things and how do you make them stop? I can't seem to do find a solution to that problem yet.
How the hell many phone books does one person need? I can look up every McDonald's within a 50 mile radius and I could probably even find a blacksmith if I wanted to. But I can't find Stupid Men With Excess Cash so they do me no good.
I have a stack of phone books in a cabinet that I have to bend over to access and at my age, it's easier to sit at my desk and look up numbers on the computer. Hell, from what I understand, computers even have Stupid Men With Excess Cash. I haven't found one, but I AM looking.
Yesterday when I was mowing the grass, I pushed the mower under a bush without looking too hard to see what I was mowing and I chopped the hell out of half of a phone book. A trillion little pieces of paper were everywhere. To whom does one complain about THAT? I sat there picking up pieces of paper for close to a half an hour, cursing the phantom phone book person who left that thing under my bush. I was so irritated that I finally had to take a pill.
I just let my dog out and when I did, I saw another fricking phone book at the end of my front driveway. If this doesn't stop soon, I'm going to start calling numbers in the books and telling people that some company is spreading a list of numbers to prank call and their number is on it. Then I'll give them the phone number of the phone book company. It probably won't stop the onslaught but it should make me giggle a bit.
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:54 AM
3 Comments:
Meg, I feel your pain. I'll look for a school where you can dump your phone books. Whatever you do, don't let anyone know where you live because they would think it was funny to start dumping their phone book in your driveway.
nancy mc
I often threaten to buy a goat. I have FOUR non freaking functioning lawnmowers in my shed. FOUR. I even sprung for one with a starter cause I can't yank that cord....and...no dice!
Mmmm....feta......
Nanc,
Do...I am truly collecting a ton of these suckers!
And Eliza, 4? Damn girl, I only have two...but one works. I had 3 but I found a nit wit to sell one to.
:)
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