One thing that keeps me...
...from writing more than I do is that other people are freaking me out over it and they aren't even people in my life. How stupid is that? I mustn't let that happen anymore. I do THINK about stuff, I even write some things down if I can find a pen before I forget what I was thinking of. Last night something occurred to me...like a bolt of lightning or the Big Bang, and it sent me scrambling for a pen. It was the answer to the life-riddle, To Shave A Bush or To Not Shave A Bush.
Obviously, the answer is no. I heard the term "beefy red pussy" and that did it. If there's one thing I never want my pussy called, it's "beefy". I haven't had any complaints about the status quo although I think I reached a thoughtful compromise by offering to use any pussy rakes that might be on the market. If one appears, I get a LOT of the money, right? If loose hairs and gagging is a problem, there's no reason to go into overkill to the point of "beefy red". I think I'd rather be Butch Bitch than beefy red...no, I'm sure of it. I have even stopped wearing flannel shirts...they aren't as cute on me as they were when I was 17.
Everyone has always assumed my best friend and I wear either sisters or lesbians. We knew about the sister thing, a lot of people would ask. But they never asked if we were gay although they must have thought it. Neither of us were aware of that thinking for years. Some mutual friend finally said something. We aren't gay, never have been gay and unless she grows a real dick, we shan't be turning gay. Of course, never say never. Actually, she isn't even my gay type. I guess I just "don't like her that way". I haven't met my gay type, yet, mind you. But like I said, you should never say never.
But I am pretty damn sure that I won't run out of humans with dicks in my lifetime so I'll just let the lesbian crap go. Speaking of humans with dicks, I could use one. I keep having sex dreams and they're even more disappointing than the dreams where I win the lottery but wake up before I get the money. Women don't have wet dreams, they have incomplete dreams. Those are hideous. And the bad part is that I never seem to be close enough to a human with a dick to latch onto.
You realize that all of the preceding chit chat was just funny to me...right?
...from writing more than I do is that other people are freaking me out over it and they aren't even people in my life. How stupid is that? I mustn't let that happen anymore. I do THINK about stuff, I even write some things down if I can find a pen before I forget what I was thinking of. Last night something occurred to me...like a bolt of lightning or the Big Bang, and it sent me scrambling for a pen. It was the answer to the life-riddle, To Shave A Bush or To Not Shave A Bush.
Obviously, the answer is no. I heard the term "beefy red pussy" and that did it. If there's one thing I never want my pussy called, it's "beefy". I haven't had any complaints about the status quo although I think I reached a thoughtful compromise by offering to use any pussy rakes that might be on the market. If one appears, I get a LOT of the money, right? If loose hairs and gagging is a problem, there's no reason to go into overkill to the point of "beefy red". I think I'd rather be Butch Bitch than beefy red...no, I'm sure of it. I have even stopped wearing flannel shirts...they aren't as cute on me as they were when I was 17.
Everyone has always assumed my best friend and I wear either sisters or lesbians. We knew about the sister thing, a lot of people would ask. But they never asked if we were gay although they must have thought it. Neither of us were aware of that thinking for years. Some mutual friend finally said something. We aren't gay, never have been gay and unless she grows a real dick, we shan't be turning gay. Of course, never say never. Actually, she isn't even my gay type. I guess I just "don't like her that way". I haven't met my gay type, yet, mind you. But like I said, you should never say never.
But I am pretty damn sure that I won't run out of humans with dicks in my lifetime so I'll just let the lesbian crap go. Speaking of humans with dicks, I could use one. I keep having sex dreams and they're even more disappointing than the dreams where I win the lottery but wake up before I get the money. Women don't have wet dreams, they have incomplete dreams. Those are hideous. And the bad part is that I never seem to be close enough to a human with a dick to latch onto.
You realize that all of the preceding chit chat was just funny to me...right?
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:38 AM
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