I'm Such an ASSHOLE!

HIM: Why do you keep turning all the lights on?

ME: I just turned on this one so that I could get my medicine.

HIM: Why are you always starting stuff with me?

Then, I took the dog out.

HIM: Did he poo?

ME: No. He didn't GO either.

HIM: Why do you always have to say something when I say POO?

ME: To myself..."Oh yeah, he isn't responding to me, he's responding to his own demons."

HIM: "Why? I asked you a question. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SAY SOMETHING WHEN I SAY POO?"

ME: To myself: "It's easier just to shut the fuck up."

HIM: "You don't like it when I say poo? POO...POO...POO.

I would laugh if I could get away from this crap. I have GOT to get a recorder so that you can hear this. I swear, it's like nothing you've ever heard before. One of these days, I will, if I don't end up in jail first.