You know...
...we women do make certain character judgments about men based on how they keep their homes. Don’t ask me why, but we do.
I don’t know why you guys make character judgments based on the strength of a hand shake. I could imagine trying to outdo someone if they squeezed my hand really really hard. It wouldn’t be pretty.
Anyway, we do look in your cabinets. I found New Generation Hair Lotion in Vex’s medicine cabinet. He never did get his money back guarantee. All that stuff ever generated was income from optimistic young men who are still in the second phase of bald awareness. In this stage the young man has admitted that he IS going bald...but it might be soon enough to stop it with some miracle cure. (In the first stage, they always blame the temporary problem on a hat or some other scalp irritant.)
Anyway, you should keep your house neat at all times, just to save yourself from a major embarrassment or missed opportunity if nothing else. I actually did the dishes BEFORE I wrote this...(well, I started them before, but I quit when I thought of the New Generation in the medicine cabinet. I will finish them in a minute.)
A neat house usually shows that a guy moves around enough in the course of a day to at least pick up after himself. Or, as in the Vex’s house, he never moved at all. You can tell that kind...there is dust all over everything and nothing but condiments in the fridge. They may have two beers tied together by a collar that had once held six on the bottom shelf and some hardened pepperoni left over from some drunken pizza attempt. But they are sure to have their condiments. I never understood why, they never seemed to have anything to put them on.
A guy should decorate, but not too much color co-ordination or we will smell another female. You should throw some big ugly beer clock on the wall as a sure sign of bachelorhood. We will all know that there hasn’t been a woman around for a long, long time.
And, as my grandmother’s bathroom wall plaque used to read, “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie.”
Meg
...we women do make certain character judgments about men based on how they keep their homes. Don’t ask me why, but we do.
I don’t know why you guys make character judgments based on the strength of a hand shake. I could imagine trying to outdo someone if they squeezed my hand really really hard. It wouldn’t be pretty.
Anyway, we do look in your cabinets. I found New Generation Hair Lotion in Vex’s medicine cabinet. He never did get his money back guarantee. All that stuff ever generated was income from optimistic young men who are still in the second phase of bald awareness. In this stage the young man has admitted that he IS going bald...but it might be soon enough to stop it with some miracle cure. (In the first stage, they always blame the temporary problem on a hat or some other scalp irritant.)
Anyway, you should keep your house neat at all times, just to save yourself from a major embarrassment or missed opportunity if nothing else. I actually did the dishes BEFORE I wrote this...(well, I started them before, but I quit when I thought of the New Generation in the medicine cabinet. I will finish them in a minute.)
A neat house usually shows that a guy moves around enough in the course of a day to at least pick up after himself. Or, as in the Vex’s house, he never moved at all. You can tell that kind...there is dust all over everything and nothing but condiments in the fridge. They may have two beers tied together by a collar that had once held six on the bottom shelf and some hardened pepperoni left over from some drunken pizza attempt. But they are sure to have their condiments. I never understood why, they never seemed to have anything to put them on.
A guy should decorate, but not too much color co-ordination or we will smell another female. You should throw some big ugly beer clock on the wall as a sure sign of bachelorhood. We will all know that there hasn’t been a woman around for a long, long time.
And, as my grandmother’s bathroom wall plaque used to read, “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie.”
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:13 AM
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