For some reason...
...I can’t get to the blog server. I may be able to by the time you read this, or as in the last post, I will send it to someone else to do it. I can get to all of the other web sites, just not that one and other people CAN get to it so if I have to, I’ll just post it another way. I’m amazed that I have been able to keep the computer going at all. My “Technician Man” left when my husband disappeared and I have kept the computer running by myself. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do that. I not only kept it going, I discovered blogs and payPal and other stuff I never knew about.
It’s astonishing what you can accomplish if you need to or want to badly enough. I mentioned a while ago that in my entire life, I have accomplished quite a bit. Most of it was achieved while I was single, that’s a fact. I went to college with 3 kids and I took care of them by myself for years. Yet, I was terrified that I couldn’t take care of myself if that albatross left. Jeez, I could kick myself. He kept me so afraid, it was as though I was drowning and I could barely catch my breathe before he would pull me under again. I never had a moment to regroup so I couldn’t see what was happening. I was too busy trying to survive and I questioned myself at every turn. I didn’t know what to do because I was living with a liar and I didn’t know what he had in store for me. It was awful.
If anybody is out there hanging on to some pig in a man costume, get rid of it. It will kill you. The stress alone kept me ill for years. I couldn’t get over one illness before another would hit. I never knew if my symptoms were from the last ailment or the next disorder. And I knew my husband was cheating on me but I didn’t want to believe it. There is little worse than living life paralyzed by fear. I hope there aren’t too many people out there doing that...it is so very destructive.
And all the things that I was afraid of, never happened. I have somehow managed to get by, I’m still right here in the same house I have been in for years. I was lonely there for a while but it was better than wondering who my husband was screwing that week. Now, as I said, I almost look forward to being alone.
Somehow, I have kept everything going and if I can, anybody can. You sort of just go through life, one day at a time, acting as if. Act as if you have to pay the bills. Act as if the yard needs tending. Act as if you are having a good time. I did and now I do it all the time. And I haven’t even gotten my divorce papers yet, I can’t imagine how much fun I am going to have...I PROMISE!!!!!!
Something really damn good better happen to me soon or I won’t be able to afford to be so noble about the court thing. I am trying, though. I still haven’t heard from my attorney’s office, they must be some busy people. Well, I am going to see if I can post this...if I can’t I will send it to a friend to do it for me. One way or another, I am glad you are finally reading this.
O.K., I figured it out, I had a bad cookie. I don't know why I had a bad cookie, but I did. I deleted my cookies and temporary files...AGAIN...and I think I am O.K. Well, I am sort of falling asleep at the puter so I must go. (Thanks, Barrie, I appreciate your help earlier.) So, now I am really, really going.
See ya.
Meg
...I can’t get to the blog server. I may be able to by the time you read this, or as in the last post, I will send it to someone else to do it. I can get to all of the other web sites, just not that one and other people CAN get to it so if I have to, I’ll just post it another way. I’m amazed that I have been able to keep the computer going at all. My “Technician Man” left when my husband disappeared and I have kept the computer running by myself. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do that. I not only kept it going, I discovered blogs and payPal and other stuff I never knew about.
It’s astonishing what you can accomplish if you need to or want to badly enough. I mentioned a while ago that in my entire life, I have accomplished quite a bit. Most of it was achieved while I was single, that’s a fact. I went to college with 3 kids and I took care of them by myself for years. Yet, I was terrified that I couldn’t take care of myself if that albatross left. Jeez, I could kick myself. He kept me so afraid, it was as though I was drowning and I could barely catch my breathe before he would pull me under again. I never had a moment to regroup so I couldn’t see what was happening. I was too busy trying to survive and I questioned myself at every turn. I didn’t know what to do because I was living with a liar and I didn’t know what he had in store for me. It was awful.
If anybody is out there hanging on to some pig in a man costume, get rid of it. It will kill you. The stress alone kept me ill for years. I couldn’t get over one illness before another would hit. I never knew if my symptoms were from the last ailment or the next disorder. And I knew my husband was cheating on me but I didn’t want to believe it. There is little worse than living life paralyzed by fear. I hope there aren’t too many people out there doing that...it is so very destructive.
And all the things that I was afraid of, never happened. I have somehow managed to get by, I’m still right here in the same house I have been in for years. I was lonely there for a while but it was better than wondering who my husband was screwing that week. Now, as I said, I almost look forward to being alone.
Somehow, I have kept everything going and if I can, anybody can. You sort of just go through life, one day at a time, acting as if. Act as if you have to pay the bills. Act as if the yard needs tending. Act as if you are having a good time. I did and now I do it all the time. And I haven’t even gotten my divorce papers yet, I can’t imagine how much fun I am going to have...I PROMISE!!!!!!
Something really damn good better happen to me soon or I won’t be able to afford to be so noble about the court thing. I am trying, though. I still haven’t heard from my attorney’s office, they must be some busy people. Well, I am going to see if I can post this...if I can’t I will send it to a friend to do it for me. One way or another, I am glad you are finally reading this.
O.K., I figured it out, I had a bad cookie. I don't know why I had a bad cookie, but I did. I deleted my cookies and temporary files...AGAIN...and I think I am O.K. Well, I am sort of falling asleep at the puter so I must go. (Thanks, Barrie, I appreciate your help earlier.) So, now I am really, really going.
See ya.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:35 AM
2 Comments:
Meg,
I am glad that you have moved on. There is no excuse for putting up with a mate who cheats. Fidelity is the core of a marriage. If a person fails at that, then cut and run. I'm glad you finally were able to. Let the happy times begin.
Best wishes,
david
Meg,
I'm exiting a 4 yr LTR because my GF was unfaithful. You're very brave and are probably growing in ways you never imagined. Moving on is much harder than one would think and I wanted to encourage you to continue taking one effortful step after another. This involves more than a one-step solution and it sounds like you will get to a better place. Stay well and do what's best for you.
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