I did NOT make this up:

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I CANNOT BELIEVE that they advised me to cross my fingers.

I have red hair, should I rub my own head? I sign onto my computer...which in ITSELF an iffy proposition, and they tell me to cross my fingers.

I am in SERIOUS need of a new computer. To get my ass all rebooted and online is a bitch and a half. Technician Man is gone and I’ve done well just to keep the computer running. I learn what I need to learn to do what I want to do and that’s it. If I haven’t needed to do something with this thing, I have no clue how to do it. I have all kinds of trouble with this old thing. Of course for all I know there’s one of those buttons of which I am unaware that would fix EVERYTHING. But, if I don’t find such a button very soon, I need to find a way to get a new one. I suppose I could always buy someone else’s problem and get a used one. Anyway, signing onto this thing is a bitch.

All I needed to do was check my email and tell Todd “Hello.” I couldn’t do it and WHEN I couldn’t do it, I got sarcasm from Gmail. That’s really funny isn’t it? Cross my fingers. Stuff like that just irritates the hell out of me. I need to take a pill.

Earlier this morning I was speaking to a very young woman. She had to be in her early twenties and most and I wouldn’t put her too much past 20 one way or another. It was seriously like speaking to a child. On top of being younger than my children...she wasn’t a very bright woman. Not one little bit.

She is from the country part of Georgia. She was talking about her husband...I think it’s her husband, they have at least one kid that I remember. Whatever. She was telling me that he was from New York and that he worked for the Gambino Crime Family as well as the Castellano’s and a couple of other famous Italian crime families whose names I can't remeber. She bragged about his mendacious life in New York as a member of...not just one...but MANY different crime syndicates. And she did so with the glee of a woman in love. I was older than she when I believed some whoppers myself so I can’t say too much.

But, when I WAS her age and thought I was in love, I didn’t believe THAT kind of rubbish. I knew my ex was lying when he told me that his uncle was a consigliore for Al Capone. But he was just so cute. AND...it was during disco. I think that most of us pulled some pretty brainless stunts when we were listening to disco music. I did the Hustle.

And, I married a man who told me that he hid a gun under his car seat. He didn’t. Somehow I instinctively knew that he was lying. It’s not as though I didn’t have any signs that these guys were liars...looking back, I have to admit that I absolutely knew that both of them were flat out liars and I married them anyway. Oh well. But, I have learned. Lying is an absolute deal breaker now.

Anyway, I find it odd that men would lie about being criminals in an attempt to attract a woman. My first ex husband would have never so much as shoplifted, but he would lie and tell you that he carried a gun in his car in an attempt to look cool. What an anomalous thing to lie about.

I guess there's something about men that makes them think that we all want a “bad man”. I don’t think we really do anymore. So many bad things are politically incorrect so we really don’t like you to be bad. I mean, seriously...how bad can you be nowadays and not be in prison?

Hell, boys can’t even get into an old fashioned fist fight at school without getting arrested. So, it’s kind of hard to ever be a really good bad boy nowadays. The worst you can really be is an asshole and that’s no good.

Oh well. That young woman certainly did believe every word that she was saying. Unless of course...SHE’S the liar! I never thought of that. Oh man...this is why I keep falling for the same thing over and over again.

Damn it.

Meg