This is why...

...I stay so confused. Even after I attempt to make my silly little blog appear to be light and rather amusing, I get this:

I'm not in a joking or learning mode, please stay back 100 feet to avoid collateral damage. (NO JOKE!)

Well then, you would think that one would avoid a place where others are joking if they weren’t in a joking mood. You wouldn’t expect them to come to:

“…a place where you can just talk dribble and not have it taken too seriously…”

But then again, I guess maybe I did belabor the point. BUT...that was before I saw this:

“…do you really think I deleted the comment so you could repost it? or belabor it? Jeez..”

Yeah…jeez.

So then he makes me an offer:

"...Meg, if you want to teach me something how about I send you my 91 page court order and you can teach me how to get all the assholes to do what it says. Otherwise master sayeth further naught..."

Further naught? What the hell does that mean?

I’m so misunderstood. Or…maybe naught….maybe it's all just a “good diversion”. Or so sayeth Manipulator Dude:

"...Glad you're laughing Meg, but it wasn't a joke, but once again a good diversion. It has served you well. It reminds me of a game I've seen too often in others, so I've grown tired of it..."

Ooh, methinks I have been insulted by someone who needs a quarter. So, Dude, here’s a quarter…can you guess the next line? It involves a phone…and someone who cares. Anyway, from what am I diverting you? You give me so much credit…I thanketh thee for that.

I don't think that you're being totally honest, Manipulator Dude…at least not when you say:

I appreciate GOOD humor as much as the next guy.

I honestly don’t know if it’s just that I’ve gotten older or if I’ve always been this good at sizing people up. Of course it’s possible that the people are getting worse at trying to annoy me. One way or another, I am able to read people so well that it’s frightening.

People usually treat the ones that they love as they would like to be treated. That’s how we decide how to treat those that we love. Conversely, when someone wants to fuck with your head, they use the same crap that would bother them. That’s how we decide how to treat people we don’t like. And usually it’s something lame like:

“…It reminds me of a game I've seen too often in others, so I've grown tired of it…”

Now, that was a totally wasted cut…it was wasted because Manipulator Dude would be bothered by that…I wouldn’t. Nasty emails have never bothered me, I’m more annoyed by SPAM. It would bother Manipulator Dude because he’s taking himself far too seriously. If I wanted to take myself seriously over the terms of my divorce I wouldn’t have had time to write this sardonic piece of work that I call a blog.

But, it seems that Manipulator Dude has taken to writing nasty comments about things that I write in humor because he takes it so personally…and what do we know about his person? We know that he takes it far too seriously. If he wants to be nasty…he can do so. But, in his nastiness he has tipped his own hand. And although he hasn’t yet learned what bothers me…I know what bothers him. So, I have a few things to say to him.

First of all…blow me.

Next, if there’s anything about me or my blog that you don’t like…fuck off. You don’t have to come here. I’ve been writing this blog for a very long time. Whay makes you think that it’s within your purview to come here and leave nasty comments about posts that offend you? Why don’t you grab your Bible and tell me that what I’m doing is immoral? Your judgment is no less out of bounds than a book burner would be at a library. And you don’t even have half the honesty that a book burner has…at least they show up in person.

You have been hiding behind anonymous comments and the only anonymous emails that I’ve ever, ever received. I guess you are good with computers. Of course, most nerds are. But most of them are also rather nice guys…you don’t seem like a very nice person. But, even so…I’m going to do you a favor. I’m going to tell you something that I doubt anyone else has had the courage or the concern to tell you.

Would you like to know why people don’t want to speak to you? It’s because you talk so much without giving the other person a chance to say anything and it’s impossible to get you off of the phone within 3 hours. That’s an awfully long time to listen to someone who doesn’t listen back. There…you know the truth. Good luck with that.

You should have left it at, “You have an enchanting smile.”

So, back to people with a sense of humor…NOW…how are you guys doing? Ya still here? Cool. Me too.

OK. My takeover of Solaris is now complete. She has totally succumbed to me and she has done so willingly:

“…Accept me, accept me, accept me as your mini me, for I too want to rule half the world ...mold every malleable woman’s mind into an evil scorned empire!!!…”

And now people are beginning to realize that they are yielding to SOLARIS:

*OMG!!!* I just quoted Solaris. Does that mean I am a mini Solaris???

NO! Solaris is now under my spell. it is really ME that you are surrendering to…you are becoming one of…MEG’S BITCHES!

Tee hee.