I was just offered...

...a job that doesn't involve too much effort. It's a managerial type job and I like those. Being in charge is comfortable for me. When I'm a boss, I'm a nice boss. The job that I have now is a good one but I can't do it. I won't be able to do patient care for a while after the chemo so I need a job that keeps me sitting at a desk telling other people what to do.

It's quite a decrease in pay BUT it helps with your insurance so I won't have to pay for that. (Unless the insurance they have doesn't take pre-existing stuff, damn, I may STILL have to pay for it) It also has other benefits that make it worth it. Also, it's nice to make a lot of money an hour but it doesn't do any good if you can't work the hours to get the money. Anyway, I was happy to get that phone call. Now I have to take care of stupid shit and hopefully this job will be taken care of before the week ends.

On top of that, I got a letter in the mail from a publishing company that I queried last summer about a book that I was working on. They sent me a letter saying that they were interested in my manuscript but I never finished it because most companies don't want the whole thing. They just want 2 or 3 sample chapters and then they make you an offer. When this company said that they wanted the entire thing, I sort of forgot about it and never finished it. I must have been working a lot then to completely forget about that.

So, I just got a letter from them asking where the manuscript is. They said they're still interested so I have to at least try to finish something here soon. I called them and they did say that they would take a partial manuscript so that's what they're going to get. I would need an advance to go any further. Most people don't just sit around writing entire books that may never get read. If they do, it's pretty much a waste of time unless it's Stephen King.

Anyway, the only other thing going on today is cheek dude. Today is the day he's going to the Peach Bowl (I REFUSE to call it the Chik-fil-a Bowl!) and as I said, I don't know who he's going with but I doubt that he's going alone. His kids are with his parents so I imagine that he has a date. I could be wrong, he could be going with a guy friend but I sort of doubt it. As I said before, he's certainly within his rights to do that since he easily could have had plans a long time ago. But, I'm wondering if I'll get a call at midnight.

Now, if I don't, how should I deal with that? I figure I should just ignore it. I figure he'll call me sometime today. I guess it's so early in this relationship that I need to just shut up. Damn. I'm not good at shutting up.

You know, I've been thinking about the way I've reacted to this guy and although I've done fine in front of him, the things that have gone through my mind have be a tad unnerving. I could easily turn him into a jerk in my mind. As a matter of fact, my brain IS trying to turn him into a jerk...even though it has no decent evidence with which to do so. It doesn't seem to need any at all. It's doing a damn good job of it all by itself.

My mother used to say that if I was in a nice relationship, I would go out of my way to do something to screw it up. She may have been right. I'm not thinking about DOING anything stupid. I can restrain myself from that. But I am trying to find a reason to do something stupid.

I should be able to sit back and enjoy this but I can't.

If my brain keeps this up, cheek dude doesn't have a chance. That's no good for anyone.

Damn, damn, damn.

On top of everything that I have to do today, I have to watch that dumb game so I can see if they show him in the crowd with a date. Ain't that a BITCH?

OH! He told me that it's considered bad luck to leave a Christmas tree up past New Year's Eve. I didn't know that. I've been leaveing it up until after New Year's Eve for years. Maybe THAT'S been the problem all along! Now I have to go take that sucker down before a black cat crosses my path.