Is this possible?

"...I'm thinking that it's the kindness that is undoing you..."

You know, I think you're right! Damn, he is a nice guy. Crap, that just might be it! I'm thinking back as far as I can and the last nice guy I went out with was my husband before Rick. And even HE wasn't THIS nice! He wouldn't let me spend any money but he didn't cook for me like this one does.

And even when my ex was being that nice he WAS getting some. This one is being nice without getting any. And I've figured something out, he is totally going to wait for me to make the first move. I almost laughed out loud when it occurred to me that his hands were only going as far as mine were. I could make his hand move by moving mine lower. Then, I went to the bathroom and when I came out, I noticed that my bedroom light was on. I said, "Oh, I thought that you had gone in there and turned the light on." He said, "No, not without an invitation."

I wanted to say, "Then we better go to your place next because then it'll be up to YOU to do the inviting." But, instead I just walked him to the door. I don't know if I could come right out and say, "Shall we retire to my boudoir?" Nope, not the first time.

If he's going to be a gentleman and wait for me to do that...we may be waiting for quite a while. OR...I could make the decision while I'm sober and then drink some liquid nerve. I bet I could get him into my lair then.

I think I'm really stuck on the line that AKA left in the comment. He is a nice guy and I have to start acting like I'm going out with a nice guy. The problem is that my experience has been with assholes. I know how to act around a jerk...basically because I can be such a jerk myself. But I'm not sure how to handle a nice guy. This is quite a pickle.

My ex (the nice one) left things up to me as well. I remember thinking at the time, "That's not too smart of him." Of course it was the gentlemanly thing to do but as I said, I don't know how to act around them. I usually play defense. I'm not too comfortable on the offensive line.

The ex and I were making out once and he said, "Can I put my hand up your shirt?" I responded, "If you'd have just gone ahead and done it, I wouldn't have minded but since you asked, I have to say no." That's not my rule...it's just the way it is.

I'd like to skip all of this and go straight to comfortable because I'm so fricking confused by this one. And if he's confusing me with kindness NOW...he could get even kinder as time goes by. Then, if I haven't given it up, I'll feel guilty. Damn, I could end up giving it up just because the guy brought me a dish of peanut butter cookies.

OK, so far I've been out with maybe 3 nice guys in a half of a century. It's occurring to me that they are rather rare. I could always wait for another one but at this rate I'll be 72 by the time that happens. I guess I had better work on this one some more.

You know, it's been easy for me to go out with men a couple of times for fun and then just stop seeing them right away. They make it so easy. If they put me on defense too soon, which is what most of them do, then I just blow them off. Sooner, never later, they do something so incredibly stupid that I go, "NEXT!" And when the next one is an idiot, I'm not at all surprised. So, yeah, having a nice one is sort of mystifying.

I'm starting to lose count, we've gone out at least 7 times and he still hasn't done one wrong thing. And he IS a nice guy. And he hasn't offended me at all. And I didn't expect that. But shit, he IS a man!? I'm not sure how to get past that little aspect of the guy.

OK...I'll just sit back and wait. I'm sort of curious to see how this is going to work out.

:)