Damn it...
...I hate math. I just thought about it and realized that I got up about 2 or 3 hours too early. Oh well, I'm up and showered so now I have time to waste. I was reading the comments and this one made me laugh a bit:
"...I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner..."
Alrighty then...no Hillary for President according to the Bible. And they say that those words didn't come straight from the mind of a mere man. Right.
I can't imagine a Supreme Being who would create a species and then, omnipicent and wise, state that one sex had absolute power over the other. But I can, on the other hand...imagine a group of men getting together over some hideous B.C. beer and coming up with an idea like that one. They could be sitting there bitching about their wives and then one particularly drunk dude would pop up and say, "I know! Let's tell them that we've had visions from God! We could say that God will send them to HELL if they don't obey us!"
And then it would take a group of men to say..."This is good. It is now our religion. Women must submit." Women would buy that...how else could you get a group of hormonal creatures to completely and totally acquiesce to men? Hell is about the only thing that would convince me to totally submit to a man. Of course, I don't believe in hell so I'm a bitch.
My religion is pretty simple. It begins and ends with the Golden Rule. I'll be sweet as long as another person is sweet to me. But...after that, I'll do unto any fucker exactly what he or she did unto me. And, I'll probably do it better because of that bitch thing.
I could start a church and call myself the Holy Bitch. Then I would make up my own 10 Commandments. They would probably be something along these lines:
1. Thou shalt not commit adultery. (OK, I plagiarized that one.)
2. Thou shall remember thy anniversary and keep it gifted.
3. Thou shalt not smacketh thy wife in the head or any other body part.
4. Thou shall take out the trash twice a week.
5. Thou shall keepeth thy wife's car running well.
6. Thou shall taketh thy wife out at least once a week.
7. Thou shall not eyeball another ass when thy wife is with thee.
8. Thou shall putteth the toilet seat down after thou doth piss.
9. Thou shall wipeth thy ass so thy wife doesn't have to scrub skidmarks out of thy dirty underpants.
10. Thou shall walk into thy bathroom to release any hideous stench from thy ass.
Yes, I realize that these are all rules for men but in my church, the men are the ones who needeth such rules.
OK then. Now I must leaveth.
The Holy Bitch
...I hate math. I just thought about it and realized that I got up about 2 or 3 hours too early. Oh well, I'm up and showered so now I have time to waste. I was reading the comments and this one made me laugh a bit:
"...I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner..."
Alrighty then...no Hillary for President according to the Bible. And they say that those words didn't come straight from the mind of a mere man. Right.
I can't imagine a Supreme Being who would create a species and then, omnipicent and wise, state that one sex had absolute power over the other. But I can, on the other hand...imagine a group of men getting together over some hideous B.C. beer and coming up with an idea like that one. They could be sitting there bitching about their wives and then one particularly drunk dude would pop up and say, "I know! Let's tell them that we've had visions from God! We could say that God will send them to HELL if they don't obey us!"
And then it would take a group of men to say..."This is good. It is now our religion. Women must submit." Women would buy that...how else could you get a group of hormonal creatures to completely and totally acquiesce to men? Hell is about the only thing that would convince me to totally submit to a man. Of course, I don't believe in hell so I'm a bitch.
My religion is pretty simple. It begins and ends with the Golden Rule. I'll be sweet as long as another person is sweet to me. But...after that, I'll do unto any fucker exactly what he or she did unto me. And, I'll probably do it better because of that bitch thing.
I could start a church and call myself the Holy Bitch. Then I would make up my own 10 Commandments. They would probably be something along these lines:
1. Thou shalt not commit adultery. (OK, I plagiarized that one.)
2. Thou shall remember thy anniversary and keep it gifted.
3. Thou shalt not smacketh thy wife in the head or any other body part.
4. Thou shall take out the trash twice a week.
5. Thou shall keepeth thy wife's car running well.
6. Thou shall taketh thy wife out at least once a week.
7. Thou shall not eyeball another ass when thy wife is with thee.
8. Thou shall putteth the toilet seat down after thou doth piss.
9. Thou shall wipeth thy ass so thy wife doesn't have to scrub skidmarks out of thy dirty underpants.
10. Thou shall walk into thy bathroom to release any hideous stench from thy ass.
Yes, I realize that these are all rules for men but in my church, the men are the ones who needeth such rules.
OK then. Now I must leaveth.
The Holy Bitch
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:50 AM
8 Comments:
If God had wanted woman to sit at a man's feet, He'd have created us from Adam's ankle bone. He didn't. He created us from Adam's rib because He wanted us to stand along side man, as a partner.
Exactly.
Hahahaha Meg, that definitely made me laugh out loud! Can I join your church? I love all your commandments! Especially the last one.
pretty funny, but what about:
thou shall cometh after thy wife has cometh twice....LOL
OK, ok, but could you stop address the omnibeing as HE please.
Or better still, get a group of like minded women, have a BYO party. Get really drunk, but just before you pass out, write the Book of Angelique and add it as an addendum to the Big Book.
Then the 50th generation of men after us will start worshiping the Goddess, as some of us already do.
:):)
LOLOL..Doggy Bloggy, I can't believe that I left that one out! DUH!
Of course!
Not...I have proof that God is a man...if he were a woman man's dick would be on his chin.
Meg
You are quick Meg. I'll follow all the 11 commandments, on my next reincarnation, as a woman.
Good one. LOLOLOL.
Post a Comment
<< Home