Recently...
..after I posted the pussy perfume piece, someone asked me how I came up with that stuff. I told her the truth...I don't have to look far at all. Most of this crap finds me.
For example, today I was having a discussion about pussy perfume. Right in the middle of the pussy chit chat, my friend told me about another product that took me aback...a bit. I'm starting to get used to this stuff. One of these days I'm gonna come up with an idea and it's people like the pussy perfume people who are my inspiration. If they can see their pussy dreams through...I can do anything. My ideas are no worse than pussy perfume. Or...something that many of you are unaware of...the Pussy Energy Drink.
Yes people, you read that right...a friend who was covering the Cannes Film Festival just got back and told me that whilst he was in France, he came across a new energy drink and it is, most assuredly, called "Pussy" and you can purchase it at PussyDrinks.com. Have fun.
Imagine...if Pussy has caffeine in it, I can give up my coffee and suck Pussy every morning instead.
If my friend hadn't seen the product in France...I might not have taken reports of a Pussy Drink seriously. But I know this guy and he is 100% telling me the truth...the French are downing Pussy's faster than we can keep up with them. And some man, somewhere is, as I type this, saying to a clerk somewhere, "How much is your Pussy?"
How would you like to see this shopping list posted on your refrigerator:
eggs
Biore' nose strips
4 kumquats
2 pie crusts
Kosher dill pickles (Spears...not the WHOLE pickle)
frozen blueberries
a case of Pussy
I don't know what Pussy tastes like...but I bet it would be bland. Maybe if they'd flavor it, I would try some. I might give lemon Pussy a try. Any citrus fruit flavored Pussy would be good.
I suppose some would like cherry flavored Pussy, but cherries are too sweet for me. I like tart stuff....I see no reason why I wouldn't like a can of some seriously tart Pussy. Like my cherry vanilla yogurt and orange Italian lemonade...cherry Pussy would be all that I would have left in the fridge.
Ooh! Strawberry Pussy! I could throw some strawberries, ice cubes and some Pussy in the blender and I'd have a Pussy Icee.
Damn, the possibilities are endless. Pussy pudding. A Pussy colada or for when you REALLY want to get fucked up...a Long Island Pussy. Once you have liquid Pussy, could Pussy Popsicles be far behind?
I wonder what's in Pussy? What if some bitch on the assembly line gets funny and plays a joke on the entire Pussy sucking population? That's dreadful to even think about. I can imagine doing that. But...I have to imagine that Pussy is just a name for an otherwise normal energy drink.
You know what's next don't you? The really scary thing is I know what THAT tastes like and I would HATE a salty beverage.
..after I posted the pussy perfume piece, someone asked me how I came up with that stuff. I told her the truth...I don't have to look far at all. Most of this crap finds me.
For example, today I was having a discussion about pussy perfume. Right in the middle of the pussy chit chat, my friend told me about another product that took me aback...a bit. I'm starting to get used to this stuff. One of these days I'm gonna come up with an idea and it's people like the pussy perfume people who are my inspiration. If they can see their pussy dreams through...I can do anything. My ideas are no worse than pussy perfume. Or...something that many of you are unaware of...the Pussy Energy Drink.
Yes people, you read that right...a friend who was covering the Cannes Film Festival just got back and told me that whilst he was in France, he came across a new energy drink and it is, most assuredly, called "Pussy" and you can purchase it at PussyDrinks.com. Have fun.
Imagine...if Pussy has caffeine in it, I can give up my coffee and suck Pussy every morning instead.
If my friend hadn't seen the product in France...I might not have taken reports of a Pussy Drink seriously. But I know this guy and he is 100% telling me the truth...the French are downing Pussy's faster than we can keep up with them. And some man, somewhere is, as I type this, saying to a clerk somewhere, "How much is your Pussy?"
How would you like to see this shopping list posted on your refrigerator:
eggs
Biore' nose strips
4 kumquats
2 pie crusts
Kosher dill pickles (Spears...not the WHOLE pickle)
frozen blueberries
a case of Pussy
I don't know what Pussy tastes like...but I bet it would be bland. Maybe if they'd flavor it, I would try some. I might give lemon Pussy a try. Any citrus fruit flavored Pussy would be good.
I suppose some would like cherry flavored Pussy, but cherries are too sweet for me. I like tart stuff....I see no reason why I wouldn't like a can of some seriously tart Pussy. Like my cherry vanilla yogurt and orange Italian lemonade...cherry Pussy would be all that I would have left in the fridge.
Ooh! Strawberry Pussy! I could throw some strawberries, ice cubes and some Pussy in the blender and I'd have a Pussy Icee.
Damn, the possibilities are endless. Pussy pudding. A Pussy colada or for when you REALLY want to get fucked up...a Long Island Pussy. Once you have liquid Pussy, could Pussy Popsicles be far behind?
I wonder what's in Pussy? What if some bitch on the assembly line gets funny and plays a joke on the entire Pussy sucking population? That's dreadful to even think about. I can imagine doing that. But...I have to imagine that Pussy is just a name for an otherwise normal energy drink.
You know what's next don't you? The really scary thing is I know what THAT tastes like and I would HATE a salty beverage.
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:27 AM
3 Comments:
This post has been flagged for removal.
God how I love a good Milleresque rant!
Hi Meg, Pussy Natural Energy drink is indeed sweeping through France but also recently launched in the UK. I work in the marketing dept, email me your address and i'll send you some samples! email address is on our website.
Post a Comment
<< Home