Last night I fell asleep...
...listening to some dumb show called Video Justice. The one little piece of video justice that I watched before I closed my eyes showed a drunk driver who had just hit a car. His wheels were spinning and kicking up all kinds of smoke before he pulled out and ran over a pedestrian. I didn't think that was just at all. The guy probably went to jail, but that wasn't in the video.
All I could find to watch last night were bad movies with commercials for "guys only" night chat-lines and Abilify. I've given patients Abilify before...right after they ripped off their clothes and threw a chair at the demon in the corner. Look it up, it's a medication given to people who have gone a bit crackers. And the commercial ends by telling them to ask their doctors about Abilify. Sure they will, "Doc, could I have some Abilfy? And by the way, why do you have a chimpanzee in a pink tutu in your office?"
I love the commercials for Alzheimer's meds. I've taken care of a LOT of Alzheimer's patients and not one was a 40 year old, well dressed, white lady. And none of them played golf either, they tend to keep the big long metal things away from Alzheimer's patients. Besides, I've never seen those meds work very well anyway. But I guess the company that makes them rakes in a lot of money. Here, give a pill to the confused person and then ask him if he's still confused...they all say "Yes I am!" to that question. Right.
The best part of those commercials is when the guy rattles off a list of potential side effects under his breathe like, "May cause heart attack, pulmonary edema, increase in infections, sexual impotency, stroke, some hideous skin eating disease and death."
I can hear it now, "Doctor, I saw a pill on TV, I forget the name of the pill but it's the one that causes the hideous skin eating disease...can I have THAT pill?" And the doctor, who's going snorkeling in the Caribbean next month with the pharmaceutical rep quickly agrees to write out the prescription. "Who cares, the chick is a dog anyway.", the doc thinks to himself.
Man, I have got some serious hay fever going on here. And it looks like I have to mow my lawn today, if the grass ever dries that is. Last night it was raining so hard that I had to use the umbrella that SolarisGal sent me to walk from the house to the car. Then, I met Limerick Gal over at MacCracken's where her new beau was playing with his band. That was less than 2 miles from my house, right off of the Marietta Square but when I pulled up, it hadn't rained there yet.
Naturally when I sat down with Limerick Gal, it did start to rain. We were out back and sitting under umbrellas. They helped some, but no matter how far in we leaned, all of us at the table had wet backs from the rain dripping off the edges of the umbrellas. The band decided that it was better to pack up than it was to sit there are electrocute themselves. Go figure.
Limerick Gal and I were making fun of other people (quietly) and I saw a woman with a HUGE face and head. It was so big that mothers have to say, "Don't stare, honey!" when they pass this chick. Anyway, I pointed big head out to Lim and after she laughed, she asked, "Are you going to write about big head on the blog?" I hadn't planned on it but since she mentioned it I thought that I would.
That's pretty much what I did last night. This morning so far I have been caring for the animals. I gave Payton a bath yesterday. That was a treat.
He weighs over 100 pounds and he is ALL muscle. I have to outsmart him to do this. First, I have to trick him into one bathroom and shut the door behind us. Then I have to trick him into the bathroom with the tub and shut the door behind us again. That's not as easy as it sounds, he's wise to me by then so he curls in a ball against the door. Anyway, when I get him in the right room, I have to lift his front up so that his front paws go into the water. (The tub is full before I start this.) Once his front paws are in he gives up and gets in. Then I take the hosey thing that the water comes out of and squirt the hell out of him. Out comes some pretty smelling shampoo and then my dog is one big sudsy puppy. He likes to hang his head off the side of the tub so it's tough to wash that without getting the floor really, really wet but there's really no way to keep it from getting really, really wet so I just do what I have to do. I think he liked the shower massage...especially above his tail...he held it up for me. But I don't think he liked it enough to alter the "get in the tub" procedure.
Oh well.
You guys are pretty up to date on my day so far. I can't really write about anything else until something else happens so let me go see what today has planned for me. I'll be back later!
...listening to some dumb show called Video Justice. The one little piece of video justice that I watched before I closed my eyes showed a drunk driver who had just hit a car. His wheels were spinning and kicking up all kinds of smoke before he pulled out and ran over a pedestrian. I didn't think that was just at all. The guy probably went to jail, but that wasn't in the video.
All I could find to watch last night were bad movies with commercials for "guys only" night chat-lines and Abilify. I've given patients Abilify before...right after they ripped off their clothes and threw a chair at the demon in the corner. Look it up, it's a medication given to people who have gone a bit crackers. And the commercial ends by telling them to ask their doctors about Abilify. Sure they will, "Doc, could I have some Abilfy? And by the way, why do you have a chimpanzee in a pink tutu in your office?"
I love the commercials for Alzheimer's meds. I've taken care of a LOT of Alzheimer's patients and not one was a 40 year old, well dressed, white lady. And none of them played golf either, they tend to keep the big long metal things away from Alzheimer's patients. Besides, I've never seen those meds work very well anyway. But I guess the company that makes them rakes in a lot of money. Here, give a pill to the confused person and then ask him if he's still confused...they all say "Yes I am!" to that question. Right.
The best part of those commercials is when the guy rattles off a list of potential side effects under his breathe like, "May cause heart attack, pulmonary edema, increase in infections, sexual impotency, stroke, some hideous skin eating disease and death."
I can hear it now, "Doctor, I saw a pill on TV, I forget the name of the pill but it's the one that causes the hideous skin eating disease...can I have THAT pill?" And the doctor, who's going snorkeling in the Caribbean next month with the pharmaceutical rep quickly agrees to write out the prescription. "Who cares, the chick is a dog anyway.", the doc thinks to himself.
Man, I have got some serious hay fever going on here. And it looks like I have to mow my lawn today, if the grass ever dries that is. Last night it was raining so hard that I had to use the umbrella that SolarisGal sent me to walk from the house to the car. Then, I met Limerick Gal over at MacCracken's where her new beau was playing with his band. That was less than 2 miles from my house, right off of the Marietta Square but when I pulled up, it hadn't rained there yet.
Naturally when I sat down with Limerick Gal, it did start to rain. We were out back and sitting under umbrellas. They helped some, but no matter how far in we leaned, all of us at the table had wet backs from the rain dripping off the edges of the umbrellas. The band decided that it was better to pack up than it was to sit there are electrocute themselves. Go figure.
Limerick Gal and I were making fun of other people (quietly) and I saw a woman with a HUGE face and head. It was so big that mothers have to say, "Don't stare, honey!" when they pass this chick. Anyway, I pointed big head out to Lim and after she laughed, she asked, "Are you going to write about big head on the blog?" I hadn't planned on it but since she mentioned it I thought that I would.
That's pretty much what I did last night. This morning so far I have been caring for the animals. I gave Payton a bath yesterday. That was a treat.
He weighs over 100 pounds and he is ALL muscle. I have to outsmart him to do this. First, I have to trick him into one bathroom and shut the door behind us. Then I have to trick him into the bathroom with the tub and shut the door behind us again. That's not as easy as it sounds, he's wise to me by then so he curls in a ball against the door. Anyway, when I get him in the right room, I have to lift his front up so that his front paws go into the water. (The tub is full before I start this.) Once his front paws are in he gives up and gets in. Then I take the hosey thing that the water comes out of and squirt the hell out of him. Out comes some pretty smelling shampoo and then my dog is one big sudsy puppy. He likes to hang his head off the side of the tub so it's tough to wash that without getting the floor really, really wet but there's really no way to keep it from getting really, really wet so I just do what I have to do. I think he liked the shower massage...especially above his tail...he held it up for me. But I don't think he liked it enough to alter the "get in the tub" procedure.
Oh well.
You guys are pretty up to date on my day so far. I can't really write about anything else until something else happens so let me go see what today has planned for me. I'll be back later!
posted by Meg Kelso | 6:18 AM
1 Comments:
It was great to see ya Friday night! Shame about the rain though.
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