OK.
It's almost 6 PM again and that means it's bedtime for me. But I didn't want to crawl into dreamland without popping in and saying hello. I have something specific to tell you, but as I tend to do, I forgot what it was between the living room and the keyboard. Marijuana has nothing to do with it, I'm sure. I might remember, I might not but I guess I can write something anyway.
Oh, I just thought of something, it's almost exactly 4 years to the day since I started this blog. If anyone has a 2005 calendar, check it. I started this thing on the last Friday in January 2005. I was very angry back then. Actually, I'm still sort of annoyed at the way my promiscuous husband handled the destruction of our marriage.
I suppose some people are thinking, "Damn girl, get over it!" I would if I thought that there would be something to gain from getting over such a life altering catastrophe. Nope, I'd rather be one ticked off female. It works well for me and I've sort of taken my anger and embraced it. It's all good. I like being bitchy so the anger thing is quite helpful. Of course, I don't like being bitchy enough to do it if I'm not angry. That's an art and few have mastered it. Off the top of my head, I can think of Rosie O'Donnell, Ann Coulter and Sally Field. (I met Sally, exactly long enough to read the bitchiness and THAT was almost immediate.)
So, I really can't get over it yet. I'm just having too much fun with it. I may get bored someday but today is not that day. I think I'm actually supposed to think about the divorce MORE...don't you dream about things your mind needs to process? I dream that Rick is cheating on me almost every night. I should have seen that for the red flag it was when the dream started while he was still here. But, I AM making progress, last night I asked the mistress if she had to deal with his skid marks and she said, "Oh, yeah! It's awful! We had a woman to woman moment and it was lovely. Up until last night, I never could pin the tramps down. In the dream, I'm always running after Rick and the "other woman". Of course, I never catch them but last night I did find occasion to speak to one of his ho's.
Of course, I wouldn't be around one of his tramps long enough to discuss skid marks before I would dude-punch her face. (That's the opposite of a bitch-slap.) I haven't dude-punched many people at all in my life. Actually, there's only been one person who I ever dude-punched and that was in self defense. Well, sort of. I didn't feel like waiting to go on defense so I took the cheap shot and ran like a dog being chased by a giant vacuum cleaner. I was outta there and starting my car before he stood up.
And, yes...the fool had me arrested. I was charged with battery, I think. Whatever...he dropped the charges before court, right before court. The DA spoke to me and then he advised that jack ass to drop the charges and he did. He would have looked pretty stupid in front of a judge, pointing down at me and saying, "She broke my nose!" I'm sure he was disappointed by the DA's advice, the fool even brought his x-rays to prove that I beaned him a good one. He was gonna prove that I was a dangerous woman. It didn't even seem to bother him that he would have to say, under oath, "She took me down with one punch."
Anyway, my point is that I am rarely dangerous. My entire fighting history consisted of that one punch and a roll around in the grass where there was a whole lot of scratching going on. I think I lost that fight because all I remember is Jill Ihrig sitting on my stomach and scratching my face. She must have gotten me good because when my father got home from work, he dragged me and my scratched up face over to the Ihreg's house and shouted at the mother, "Look at my daughter!" He was angry, I was scared and the kids in the Ihreg house were all hiding but peeking out to see what the angry man was going to do.
OK, two fights...not counting spouses and siblings. Not a bad record for a bitch. Oh, I took a margarita to the face for some other chick who apparently said something nasty to the drink thrower chick who thought that I had spoken the offensive words. Imagine my surprise, a margarita in my face...salt and all. I didn't even see that one coming. You know, I'm sort of glad that happened because I always wondered what I would do if someone threw a drink in my face. Now I know, I stand there jaw-dropped and stunned. Nothing in me wanted to hit anyone, I'm naturally a very gentle bitch.
So, what was I talking about?
Oh, dude-punching the ho's...yeah, I think I could do that. I would have loved a chance to hit one of them. Oh, and I should have boxed Rick in the ears for being such an amazing liar. I must say, he was quite good at it. As a matter of fact, thinking about it irritates me so much that I want to fly to Montana, drive into downtown Kallispell, find that sucker and hit him really hard. If I had the money, I certainly would do that. See? The anger IS a good thing, it inspires me.
Damn, damn, damn...I never remembered what I wanted to say so I'll end this here and think really hard of what it was, I seem to remember that whatever the subject was, it was really good. Oh well, ciao for now!
It's almost 6 PM again and that means it's bedtime for me. But I didn't want to crawl into dreamland without popping in and saying hello. I have something specific to tell you, but as I tend to do, I forgot what it was between the living room and the keyboard. Marijuana has nothing to do with it, I'm sure. I might remember, I might not but I guess I can write something anyway.
Oh, I just thought of something, it's almost exactly 4 years to the day since I started this blog. If anyone has a 2005 calendar, check it. I started this thing on the last Friday in January 2005. I was very angry back then. Actually, I'm still sort of annoyed at the way my promiscuous husband handled the destruction of our marriage.
I suppose some people are thinking, "Damn girl, get over it!" I would if I thought that there would be something to gain from getting over such a life altering catastrophe. Nope, I'd rather be one ticked off female. It works well for me and I've sort of taken my anger and embraced it. It's all good. I like being bitchy so the anger thing is quite helpful. Of course, I don't like being bitchy enough to do it if I'm not angry. That's an art and few have mastered it. Off the top of my head, I can think of Rosie O'Donnell, Ann Coulter and Sally Field. (I met Sally, exactly long enough to read the bitchiness and THAT was almost immediate.)
So, I really can't get over it yet. I'm just having too much fun with it. I may get bored someday but today is not that day. I think I'm actually supposed to think about the divorce MORE...don't you dream about things your mind needs to process? I dream that Rick is cheating on me almost every night. I should have seen that for the red flag it was when the dream started while he was still here. But, I AM making progress, last night I asked the mistress if she had to deal with his skid marks and she said, "Oh, yeah! It's awful! We had a woman to woman moment and it was lovely. Up until last night, I never could pin the tramps down. In the dream, I'm always running after Rick and the "other woman". Of course, I never catch them but last night I did find occasion to speak to one of his ho's.
Of course, I wouldn't be around one of his tramps long enough to discuss skid marks before I would dude-punch her face. (That's the opposite of a bitch-slap.) I haven't dude-punched many people at all in my life. Actually, there's only been one person who I ever dude-punched and that was in self defense. Well, sort of. I didn't feel like waiting to go on defense so I took the cheap shot and ran like a dog being chased by a giant vacuum cleaner. I was outta there and starting my car before he stood up.
And, yes...the fool had me arrested. I was charged with battery, I think. Whatever...he dropped the charges before court, right before court. The DA spoke to me and then he advised that jack ass to drop the charges and he did. He would have looked pretty stupid in front of a judge, pointing down at me and saying, "She broke my nose!" I'm sure he was disappointed by the DA's advice, the fool even brought his x-rays to prove that I beaned him a good one. He was gonna prove that I was a dangerous woman. It didn't even seem to bother him that he would have to say, under oath, "She took me down with one punch."
Anyway, my point is that I am rarely dangerous. My entire fighting history consisted of that one punch and a roll around in the grass where there was a whole lot of scratching going on. I think I lost that fight because all I remember is Jill Ihrig sitting on my stomach and scratching my face. She must have gotten me good because when my father got home from work, he dragged me and my scratched up face over to the Ihreg's house and shouted at the mother, "Look at my daughter!" He was angry, I was scared and the kids in the Ihreg house were all hiding but peeking out to see what the angry man was going to do.
OK, two fights...not counting spouses and siblings. Not a bad record for a bitch. Oh, I took a margarita to the face for some other chick who apparently said something nasty to the drink thrower chick who thought that I had spoken the offensive words. Imagine my surprise, a margarita in my face...salt and all. I didn't even see that one coming. You know, I'm sort of glad that happened because I always wondered what I would do if someone threw a drink in my face. Now I know, I stand there jaw-dropped and stunned. Nothing in me wanted to hit anyone, I'm naturally a very gentle bitch.
So, what was I talking about?
Oh, dude-punching the ho's...yeah, I think I could do that. I would have loved a chance to hit one of them. Oh, and I should have boxed Rick in the ears for being such an amazing liar. I must say, he was quite good at it. As a matter of fact, thinking about it irritates me so much that I want to fly to Montana, drive into downtown Kallispell, find that sucker and hit him really hard. If I had the money, I certainly would do that. See? The anger IS a good thing, it inspires me.
Damn, damn, damn...I never remembered what I wanted to say so I'll end this here and think really hard of what it was, I seem to remember that whatever the subject was, it was really good. Oh well, ciao for now!
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:13 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home