Crap I thought about today...

...stupid people really need to get up earlier.

After watching an episode of Cheaters with two midgets and one midgess, I've come to the conclusion that you can't trust anyone...not even a midget. That is SO sad.

I would have enjoyed watching as a Man Pretending to Fall Off Bridge Actually Falls. Especially since he was half sauced when he did it. I hope that serves as a lesson to the young man wannabe...plunging off of a bridge into a river can be hazardous to your health. I would have loved to have seen the look on his face when he realized that he WAS going into the drink.

Who the hell is Perez Hilton and why is he judging a beauty contest anyway? You don't see Ellen reading People's Top Ten Sexiest Men. Who's taking care of the ugly contests...Tom Cruise? I don't have any cash for a bounty on the fool's ass but maybe we could work something out privately. There...I've said it. Now, go forth and mock Perez and laugh at him. After you've done that, come back here and let me know. I'll make you glad you heckled that angry little gremlin.

I just finished a job acting...for a reality show. Seriously...with my luck this will be the one thing I do that gets me exposure and it's me ACTING...in a reality show! Apparently that means that I can't tell you what I just did. Oh well. I hope you never find out.

I'm really, really disappointed and annoyed at those cheating midgets.