Perfectly good grandmother...

...available for a short time only. Young enough to enjoy having fun and old enough to know when it's time to go to bed. Raised around kids and perfectly safe to have around.

She doesn't smell bad but she can get a bit selfish with the remote control. Cleans up after self and others by habit but can easily be distracted by short people having fun. She has grandchildren of her own but they're out of town so she is usually just playing alone. No grandmother should ever play alone when so many grandchildren are out there needing a grandmother who appreciates coloring and Happy Meal toys.

My crayons used to be all pretty and unbroken but since grandchildren have come along, all of them are broken and worn down but the color is as bright as it ever was. I enjoy night skies full of stars, lakes and fishing...but I can't bait my own hook.

Trained at grandmotherhood by the famous grandmother Ruth Dillon of Roanoke, Virginia. Guaranteed for life.