I have to do many things...
...that I might not ordinarily do in order to adequately study the males of our species. Right now I’m in the middle of doing something that I wouldn’t EVER do with a man who seems to think that I’m an idiot.
He came over once and apparently expected a romp in the hay. Of course he took me out to eat first which, on the surface, seems like a nice gesture. But, it was a relatively cheap meal and certainly worth it so that he could “feel me out” to see if I was stupid enough to agree to sex. They never come right out and ask that, they have more “subtle” ways of doing things like mentioning that they “haven’t had sex in so long” that they don’t remember the last time. (I’ve gone for a year before and I’ve never forgotten the last man with whom I slept. Anyway, it was at that point that I was supposed to say, “Oh, poor thing! You won’t have to wait much longer at all!”
Apparently I didn’t strike him as very pliable so he tried to back out of the work he had previously promised to perform for me. I guess he figured that it was only worth his effort if I was going to blow him. When we got to my house I watched from my kitchen window as he made a half assed attempt to start the mower before he came in and tried to get out of it all together. He said that the mower needed “a spark plug” and when he went to get it, he also got something that goes in the gas tank. The gas tank stuff had to sit there for two hours and that would put him past the hour that he had previously given as his bewitching hour, the time he needed to take off. Obviously, he couldn’t wait the two hours since he had already set up an exit strategy. (And by the way, the lawn mower STILL won’t start.)
Then, he came into my kitchen and made a obligatory attempt to fix the leak under the sink. As easy as that would have been, rather than fix it, he opened his tool box, pulled out some gaskets and showed ME how to fix the leak. It was getting close to escape time and while he made time for a romp in the hay, he never actually set aside any time to fix ANYTHING.
When he left, he said that he would be back the next day to finish what he had started, and to make it sound good, he asked me to write a list of everything that I needed to have done around the house. I knew better so I said, “You won’t be back.”
He responded by giving me his “word” that he would, indeed, return. I said, “OK, I’ll take you at your word.” and I did.
He even sent this email:
I’ll be still smiling tomorrow! Thank you so much for a wonderful day………….I shall return!
This guy is a doctor so he knows how to concoct believable scenarios when cancelling previously agreed upon plans. The next day his daughter in law “went into early labor” so he had to go to her and his son. He made sure to mention that “I can’t do what I want to do when it comes to my kids…I have to take care of that.”
Naturally, I told him that I understood completely even though I suspected that he was lying through his teeth. He was sure to promise to come over the following Saturday.
Saturday morning he called with a BS story that he couldn’t have expected me to believe: “They’re going to do a C-section on my daughter in law and you know, when it comes to my family, they have to be first.” Well, of course they do! I know that I feel that way about my own kids. So, with my gracious understanding and his “assurance” that I would see him the following week (”or maybe even tomorrow”), I hung up and giggled. (By the way, they don’t schedule C-sections on Saturdays, those are saved for emergencies only. He never said that it was an emergency nor did he explain why she was giving birth twice in one week.)
Then I received this email:
“Will get back late tonight………….have some things I have to take care of in the morning then i can come. I need the list. Let me know if tomorrow afternoon and evening are still good for you………… “
So when the next day came, I received this follow up to a phone call in which he warned me that he “might have to go to DC”:
“Tried to call on my way home at 9:15…………yes, I’m going to DC……….will return Friday…………but will call and be there Friday night or Sat. morning……………”
And then this…apparently for good measure:
Been missing you on the phone……………….been missing you………period. I don’t want to wait until Saturday to see you………………
Naturally when the phone rang Saturday (today) it was him with another excuse…car trouble this time. I don’t know enough about cars to question his story but I do know enough about men to be able to grasp his plan.
He gave me his word and then, every excuse he’s had has been one that cannot be debated. Since he knows that his word is on the line, he can’t help but try to lead me to believe that he’s coming back as he makes excuse after excuse. I’m supposed to get angry at this and say, “Forget it! Now I don’t even want you to come back!” That lets him off the hook and his honor is intact…in his mind anyway.
But, rather than get angry, I’ve been understanding, even gratuitous, in my reactions to his constant cancellations. It must be making him insane. He’s trying with all he can think of to get out of keeping his “word” and not a damn thing he does is phasing me.
When he says he’s coming over, I know that he isn’t so I don’t plan around his “visits”. It’s all good…I just have to continue to be as sweet as a REAL Georgia peach and see how he gets himself out of this mess.
...that I might not ordinarily do in order to adequately study the males of our species. Right now I’m in the middle of doing something that I wouldn’t EVER do with a man who seems to think that I’m an idiot.
He came over once and apparently expected a romp in the hay. Of course he took me out to eat first which, on the surface, seems like a nice gesture. But, it was a relatively cheap meal and certainly worth it so that he could “feel me out” to see if I was stupid enough to agree to sex. They never come right out and ask that, they have more “subtle” ways of doing things like mentioning that they “haven’t had sex in so long” that they don’t remember the last time. (I’ve gone for a year before and I’ve never forgotten the last man with whom I slept. Anyway, it was at that point that I was supposed to say, “Oh, poor thing! You won’t have to wait much longer at all!”
Apparently I didn’t strike him as very pliable so he tried to back out of the work he had previously promised to perform for me. I guess he figured that it was only worth his effort if I was going to blow him. When we got to my house I watched from my kitchen window as he made a half assed attempt to start the mower before he came in and tried to get out of it all together. He said that the mower needed “a spark plug” and when he went to get it, he also got something that goes in the gas tank. The gas tank stuff had to sit there for two hours and that would put him past the hour that he had previously given as his bewitching hour, the time he needed to take off. Obviously, he couldn’t wait the two hours since he had already set up an exit strategy. (And by the way, the lawn mower STILL won’t start.)
Then, he came into my kitchen and made a obligatory attempt to fix the leak under the sink. As easy as that would have been, rather than fix it, he opened his tool box, pulled out some gaskets and showed ME how to fix the leak. It was getting close to escape time and while he made time for a romp in the hay, he never actually set aside any time to fix ANYTHING.
When he left, he said that he would be back the next day to finish what he had started, and to make it sound good, he asked me to write a list of everything that I needed to have done around the house. I knew better so I said, “You won’t be back.”
He responded by giving me his “word” that he would, indeed, return. I said, “OK, I’ll take you at your word.” and I did.
He even sent this email:
I’ll be still smiling tomorrow! Thank you so much for a wonderful day………….I shall return!
This guy is a doctor so he knows how to concoct believable scenarios when cancelling previously agreed upon plans. The next day his daughter in law “went into early labor” so he had to go to her and his son. He made sure to mention that “I can’t do what I want to do when it comes to my kids…I have to take care of that.”
Naturally, I told him that I understood completely even though I suspected that he was lying through his teeth. He was sure to promise to come over the following Saturday.
Saturday morning he called with a BS story that he couldn’t have expected me to believe: “They’re going to do a C-section on my daughter in law and you know, when it comes to my family, they have to be first.” Well, of course they do! I know that I feel that way about my own kids. So, with my gracious understanding and his “assurance” that I would see him the following week (”or maybe even tomorrow”), I hung up and giggled. (By the way, they don’t schedule C-sections on Saturdays, those are saved for emergencies only. He never said that it was an emergency nor did he explain why she was giving birth twice in one week.)
Then I received this email:
“Will get back late tonight………….have some things I have to take care of in the morning then i can come. I need the list. Let me know if tomorrow afternoon and evening are still good for you………… “
So when the next day came, I received this follow up to a phone call in which he warned me that he “might have to go to DC”:
“Tried to call on my way home at 9:15…………yes, I’m going to DC……….will return Friday…………but will call and be there Friday night or Sat. morning……………”
And then this…apparently for good measure:
Been missing you on the phone……………….been missing you………period. I don’t want to wait until Saturday to see you………………
Naturally when the phone rang Saturday (today) it was him with another excuse…car trouble this time. I don’t know enough about cars to question his story but I do know enough about men to be able to grasp his plan.
He gave me his word and then, every excuse he’s had has been one that cannot be debated. Since he knows that his word is on the line, he can’t help but try to lead me to believe that he’s coming back as he makes excuse after excuse. I’m supposed to get angry at this and say, “Forget it! Now I don’t even want you to come back!” That lets him off the hook and his honor is intact…in his mind anyway.
But, rather than get angry, I’ve been understanding, even gratuitous, in my reactions to his constant cancellations. It must be making him insane. He’s trying with all he can think of to get out of keeping his “word” and not a damn thing he does is phasing me.
When he says he’s coming over, I know that he isn’t so I don’t plan around his “visits”. It’s all good…I just have to continue to be as sweet as a REAL Georgia peach and see how he gets himself out of this mess.
posted by Meg Kelso | 6:44 AM
2 Comments:
He just wanted to use you, like you want to use him. Can't really blame him.
First of all, I didn't blame him. It is what it is. I just write this stuff so that UNEXPECTING people might learn the games people play.
Next, I'm not the one lying consistently.
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