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Sunday, July 05, 2009

It's me again!

My AC isn't working so I've been ridiculously hot for the past few days but as long as I stay in my room, I can be cooler because a very nice man took pity on me and bought me a window unit. So, life is much nicer now that I can at least sleep without sweating all over myself.

Remember how I got my lawn mowed by putting an ad on Craigslist and whining that I didn't want to mow my own grass? Well, yesterday I did it again only I whined about being too hot and full of sweat. I got a BUNCH of responses but one guy was older and didn't ask that stupid question, "What's in it for me?" so I chose him. He came over and we chatted outside for a while (I never let them in my house unless I feel comfortable and my dog is right next to me) and then we got in his car and went to Home Depot where he bought me a nice air conditioner Next we headed to Stone Mountain to watch the laser show and fireworks but when we got there, it was closed because it was filled to capacity. So, we came back to Marietta and went to the Square to watch the fireworks here. Unfortunately, his hip started hurting him so badly that he had to leave but that was fine with me, I had a very comfortable room to hang out in so I did just that. I guess if you're going to associate with men my own age you pretty much have to expect a few broken dudes every so often. I'm a bit broken myself so I certainly understand.

I would get another dude to fix the AC today or mow my lawn but I have a date with a guy who I know. He's a Jewish guy from Boston and it cracks me up to hear him use Jewish words with his accent. All the Jewish people I know are from the Chicago area so a Bostonian Jew is as odd to me as is a Jewish lady from Mississippi.

After I dated a Jewish guy as a teenager and found out that his parents referred to me as the "yutz" and the "shiksa", I swore off Jewish men unless they were orphans. But oddly enough, this one has both of his parents who are like a billion years old. I'm letting that slide for now because this guy is older than were the parents who called me a yutz back in the 70's. I'm assuming that he's not as pliable as a teenaged Jewish kid but who knows, he's coming over today...after his weekly visit to his parents.

When I met this one, I was a tad taken aback by the way he looked. His looks were hard to read because he had been working all day. He owns a business that machines and fixes antique and foreign motorcycle speedometers. How obscure is that? After speaking to him for a while, I realized how bright and decent he was so I tried picturing him without all the grease and without his helmet hair. He started looking quite attractive after a while.

Isn't that odd? A good looking guy can open his mouth and be ugly and a funky looking Jewish guy from Boston can open his mouth and become attractive. I don't know why, but that's the way it works.

I don't know what the hell I ever saw in my ex...he's neither attractive nor bright and Lord knows he wasn't decent. When we were 24, he had already lost most of his hair and he had a pungent brand of body odor that I was unfamiliar with until that time. I SO didn't like him when we met but he kept coming around and eventually started using deodorant at my request. Before long I had taken a shine to him, the most inexplicable thing that I've ever done. I have no excuse except to say that I was young and drinking often. Damn that Michelob.

It's only supposed to get up to 83 today so I shouldn't be as miserable as I've been. I guess this is a good time to mow my lawn. I have to do it myself because I don't have time to find a guy to do it and get rid of him before Jewish dude gets here. Oh well. It's only going to get hotter so I'm going to go and do one of my least favorite things, manual labor. One of these days I might get a regular guy to take care of such chores, but for today, I'm going to have to go out and do it myself. Then, I'll shower and use deodorant so no one tells the entire world that I stink.

See ya!

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