Even Forrest Gump got to LA...
...and he didn't have a daughter there. You'd think I could figure it out.
I've actually considered putting my dog on a leash and walking west on I-20 until I got to the Pacific. Then it occurred to me that I'm not a professional hobo so it's probably not a good idea. I don't mind cooking beans over an open fire, but I hate bugs too much to sleep outside.
Then I considered putting an ad on Craigslist to share a ride with someone but then I made the mistake of watching Kalifornia. Maybe that's for the best.
There's an airline that flies dogs but it doesn't stop in Atlanta so there's another hitch. I could put a harness on him, sunglasses on me and buy a white stick...but I'd feel terrible if someone caught me seeing. Besides, they'd probably want some sort of proof that he was a trained dog and although I have some Mexican friends, I don't know anyone who sells fake dog papers.
In the 70's I was pretty good at hitch-hiking, but then again, I was also just plain pretty. I'm not bad for my age...but I am some one's grandmother. On top of that, I want to get to LA, not be in the news as the grandmother who lived a bit too much in her hippy past before she disappeared after being last seen in Bumfuk Mississippi.
I could take a bus, as much as that thought scares the hell out of me...but I'm back to pretending to be blind with a seeing eye dog and I've already met a dead end in that endeavor.
I could go on tour across the southern US...but I don't have any talent. Car jacking is probably out as well...I don't have the kind of luck to get 3 miles, I'd never make 3,000. I could ask Obama for some stimulus money but I can't even get my $250 check, I'd never get enough to travel to LA. I would have taken my car but chances are that, sooner or later, I'd need the brakes or the transmission and those don't work. Oh! A freight train! Why didn't I think of that before!
Now, if I can only get one to slow down for me...I'm outta here!
...and he didn't have a daughter there. You'd think I could figure it out.
I've actually considered putting my dog on a leash and walking west on I-20 until I got to the Pacific. Then it occurred to me that I'm not a professional hobo so it's probably not a good idea. I don't mind cooking beans over an open fire, but I hate bugs too much to sleep outside.
Then I considered putting an ad on Craigslist to share a ride with someone but then I made the mistake of watching Kalifornia. Maybe that's for the best.
There's an airline that flies dogs but it doesn't stop in Atlanta so there's another hitch. I could put a harness on him, sunglasses on me and buy a white stick...but I'd feel terrible if someone caught me seeing. Besides, they'd probably want some sort of proof that he was a trained dog and although I have some Mexican friends, I don't know anyone who sells fake dog papers.
In the 70's I was pretty good at hitch-hiking, but then again, I was also just plain pretty. I'm not bad for my age...but I am some one's grandmother. On top of that, I want to get to LA, not be in the news as the grandmother who lived a bit too much in her hippy past before she disappeared after being last seen in Bumfuk Mississippi.
I could take a bus, as much as that thought scares the hell out of me...but I'm back to pretending to be blind with a seeing eye dog and I've already met a dead end in that endeavor.
I could go on tour across the southern US...but I don't have any talent. Car jacking is probably out as well...I don't have the kind of luck to get 3 miles, I'd never make 3,000. I could ask Obama for some stimulus money but I can't even get my $250 check, I'd never get enough to travel to LA. I would have taken my car but chances are that, sooner or later, I'd need the brakes or the transmission and those don't work. Oh! A freight train! Why didn't I think of that before!
Now, if I can only get one to slow down for me...I'm outta here!
posted by Meg Kelso | 3:51 AM
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