I'm in a rare...

...bad mood. It's like I use to feel when I would get PMS. I wasn't touchy and overly sensitive to perceived transgressions, I was actively searching them out so that I could have an excuse to let the bitch in me take over. I haven't decided what to do about it yet, so for the moment I guess I'll just roll with it.

So...a woman in a bad mood? You don't see many of them...in the men's locker room. But outside of one of those, I'm just another bearer of tits with an attitude. I suppose I should try my hand at being a dominatrix before I get happy again.

Maybe not, with my luck I'd spontaneously burst into happiness and untie the poor sap I've already strapped to the bed. That's no fun for anyone.

I could cheat on someone, but with my luck, he'd be a cuckold and the cheating would turn him on more than it would me. See? This is what being a Cubs fan for decades does to a person.

I could try to get into the holidays but that crap is really all about kids and it's no fun without any. If any of you have a spare one, you could drop it off here. I won't be in a bad mood for the kid, I'd take some sort of drug that makes people happy so the kid wouldn't be subjected to a foul mood...just a crazy playful mood. I've never done Ecstasy but I hear that makes people happy...if you'd like, you could drop some off with the kid to make things easier on everyone.

Damn it, my prozac and xanax is kicking in. Now I have to be happy again. And just when I was looking forward to being a bitch.