Affirmative Action for Ugly People

Image removed for those who may be eating.

Yes, it's true, some kind soul at the University of Texas is pushing hard to "offer legal protections to the ugly, as we do with racial, ethnic and religious minorities, women and handicapped individuals".

Economics professor Daniel S. Hamermesh actually did a study of ugly people (did Uncle Sam pay for that?) and he has come to the conclusion that pretty people earn more money and attract better spouses. Duh. I could have told him that.

But now what do we do? The military dispenses disability in percentages, if you're 50% disabled, you get half the monthly income of a person who is considered 100% disabled. Will we be paying ug-o's the same way? Would my ex husband be considered 100% ugly or just 90% ugly? Who will make that decision and how will we measure how unpleasant one person is to look at? If you're black, you're black. If you're a woman, you're a woman. But ugly will be a tough one.

My ex will probably be eligible for a few monthly checks. He's not only ugly, he's rather slow witted, bald and morally bankrupt. Maybe I should have stayed married to him so that I could get rich on his pathetic "challenges".