I finally got the age thing...

...all in hand.

I was over at Hoveround Dude's house and in a moment of acerbic frivolity, I asked him if he ever had hair. We both got quite a laugh out of that one (each for our own reasons) and afterwards, the age thing just popped out of my mouth, "So, how old are you anyway?" He laughed that little, "I just got caught in a lie." laugh that men do so well. I've seen it far too often to let it slip past me unnoticed.

Then he said, "How old do you think I am?" Of course, I'm too smart for that so I told him not to even try to suck me into that conversation. I made some comment that ended with, "...or you could be 69, I don't know." He responded by saying that he "would be happy with a 6." At that moment, I had no problem believing that he was in his 70's. Before I had a chance to absorb that, he said, "OK, I'm 62, I'll be 63 next month." I responded thusly, "I want to see your driver's license."

He showed it to me and it verified his most recent story. Now, I know what he told me when we met and that wasn't it. He told me he was 57. I was dumb enough to believe that because I added this thought, "Maybe he just looks old."

I mentioned that he had told me 57 and he denied it. He even said that I was mistaken or suffering from faulty memory. I said, "I'm not an idiot, you know."

"I'm not calling you an idiot." he said.

"Well, I'd pretty much have to be an idiot to believe you now." was my response at which time he would have done well to let the entire discussion fade away. He should have discussed the music we were listening to but he didn't perform that one act that would have naturally followed innocence in any form. But he didn't. He just couldn't shut up. He made things worse by saying the following things:

1. "I'm in good shape for my age." (I looked at his fat belly and knew that it was taut enough to bounce on.)

2. "You have a good looking guy here." (That was like FoxNews calling itself "Fair and Balanced".)

3. "I know I can act like a jerk but it's just because I'm horny and frustrated." (That was a prize, wasn't it?)

After the last comment, I said, "Is that actually a part of your line?"

He then began to tell me all the things I'm missing out on by not having sex with him. I told him that we could have that conversation when I started asking him for shit. He went on for a bit more and I finally said that I didn't like the quid pro quo nature of the discussion and he denied that was what he meant. Like 57...I knew what I had heard.

I thought to myself, maybe he IS almost 63...AND he looks old. Now I don't know what to believe and I don't particularly care. I could easily believe he had a fake ID. I'm still stunned to think that he actually believes that he is what HE sees, and that I should see the same thing. I'm a woman but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm a moron. Anyway, after a few more stupid comments, I decided to skip town. So I did.

Well, at least he made me laugh...all the way home.