First, let me say that I've just noticed that I AM IN THE FUTURE! There's a billboard down the street that changes pictures all by itself. The pictures are so realistic looking and they change so quietly that this has to be the future.
The only other really silly thing I've heard today is that my idiot ex has a motorcycle. I don't really care for myself, I'm too far away for him to hurt me with the stupid thing. But innocent Montanans should be on the lookout for a bald freak with bad teeth and hideous body odor riding a motorcycle.
Rick didn't really have too much luck with cars, the thought of him driving a motorcycle is insane. Here are a few of his bonehead moves that he committed in the relative safety of a car:
1. Immediately after my mothers funeral, we were traveling onto a highway. Rick stopped on the acceleration lane and looked over his left shoulder to see if anyone was coming. I guess he saw no one because he took off, only to hit the guy who was stopped in front of us.
2. He hit another car doing the same thing only this time it wasn't on a highway, it was just on a small road with a smaller entrance lane. Looking over his left shoulder, he must have felt safe because he proceeded again and, again, hit the car stopped in front of him.
3. Rick was working on our car in the driveway one weekend. He was doing something to the brakes and apparently, after you do whatever he did, you're supposed to pump the brakes. He didn't. So, later when he went to start the car, he had no brakes so he rolled backwards out of the driveway, across the street and through 2 fences into the neighbor's yard. He caused 600 bucks worth of damage but preferred to let the insurance pay for the damage, after he paid the 500 dollar deductible.
4. He was leaving work one day and as he left the parking lot and turned left, his axle cracked in half. The car went forward enough to scrape a permanent scratch into the road so that, to this day, everyone can see the huge divot he left on the street.
5. Even getting gas is a problem for Rick. He was walking into the station to pay for his gas when he walked smack into the glass wall that fronted the gas station. I guess he didn't see it.
6. Rick also had a problem of leaving his girlfriend's make-up and CD's in his car. Maybe he's driving a motorcycle so that his tramps can't leave their stuff all over his ride.
So, somewhere in this country there is at least one nit wit on a motorcycle who has no business on one at all. I don't know about all of them or I would warn you...this is the only freak I can honestly warn you about. Be careful Montana!
PS I didn't ask if he was wearing a helmet because it doesn't matter. Why protect the one place on his body that we already know is totally screwed up?
The only other really silly thing I've heard today is that my idiot ex has a motorcycle. I don't really care for myself, I'm too far away for him to hurt me with the stupid thing. But innocent Montanans should be on the lookout for a bald freak with bad teeth and hideous body odor riding a motorcycle.
Rick didn't really have too much luck with cars, the thought of him driving a motorcycle is insane. Here are a few of his bonehead moves that he committed in the relative safety of a car:
1. Immediately after my mothers funeral, we were traveling onto a highway. Rick stopped on the acceleration lane and looked over his left shoulder to see if anyone was coming. I guess he saw no one because he took off, only to hit the guy who was stopped in front of us.
2. He hit another car doing the same thing only this time it wasn't on a highway, it was just on a small road with a smaller entrance lane. Looking over his left shoulder, he must have felt safe because he proceeded again and, again, hit the car stopped in front of him.
3. Rick was working on our car in the driveway one weekend. He was doing something to the brakes and apparently, after you do whatever he did, you're supposed to pump the brakes. He didn't. So, later when he went to start the car, he had no brakes so he rolled backwards out of the driveway, across the street and through 2 fences into the neighbor's yard. He caused 600 bucks worth of damage but preferred to let the insurance pay for the damage, after he paid the 500 dollar deductible.
4. He was leaving work one day and as he left the parking lot and turned left, his axle cracked in half. The car went forward enough to scrape a permanent scratch into the road so that, to this day, everyone can see the huge divot he left on the street.
5. Even getting gas is a problem for Rick. He was walking into the station to pay for his gas when he walked smack into the glass wall that fronted the gas station. I guess he didn't see it.
6. Rick also had a problem of leaving his girlfriend's make-up and CD's in his car. Maybe he's driving a motorcycle so that his tramps can't leave their stuff all over his ride.
So, somewhere in this country there is at least one nit wit on a motorcycle who has no business on one at all. I don't know about all of them or I would warn you...this is the only freak I can honestly warn you about. Be careful Montana!
PS I didn't ask if he was wearing a helmet because it doesn't matter. Why protect the one place on his body that we already know is totally screwed up?
posted by Meg Kelso | 3:23 PM
2 Comments:
Regarding #6: Unless the tramp de jour can ride a bike sidesaddle, I'd NEVER get on that seat-no way, no how. What they'd leave there is a hell of a lot scarier than make-up.
TW
Excellent point and one, I am sad to say, alluded me. I should have thought of that.
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