Well...
...I no longer have a boyfriend that I don't like. I had to get rid of him because he annoyed my father.
My father didn't like the nature of the phone calls, one of which Dad overheard. We both answered the phone at the same time and only I spoke, not aware that Dear Old Dad was on the other line. Then Hoveround Dude started asking me for sex and offering me one tantalizing tidbit after another. I kept trying to hang up the phone and then leave it off the hook but I couldn't hang up on him because there was another phone in the house that was off the hook. So, Dad got to hear Hoveround Dude making more offers than usual, because I couldn't hang up the stupid phone.
The next day, when the phone rang, my father told HD not to call here anymore. That freaked out HD and he decided to get back at ME...so he called the cops and said that...now read this clearly so you fully understand the ramifications of what he did...he reported me for "stealing his pot". Of course, I didn't do that. He had given me a roach which I had emptied into a bowl. My father asked me if I had anything that he had given me and I, being an honest person, had to tell my father the truth.
"Yes, dad, I have some weed."
He told me to flush it down the toilet and I said that I could, but I didn't know the Florida laws regarding paraphernalia. So, my father said that he would get rid of the bowl. But, he wasn't going to leave for a little bit so I asked him if I could just smoke the rest of the shit instead of flushing it. He didn't mind.
So, now Dad has to take the bowl and dump it in the drink. I recognized the situation as a caper and told my father what a cool caper it was. Although the humor wasn't as obvious to my father as it was to me, he did handle it well.
Soon the cops came to the door and wanted back the cell phone HD gave me when Dad told him to stop calling the house phone. I gave it back and then went to my room and opened the window to hear what the cops were doing. There were two of them out there, one who had come to speak to me and one who stayed with HD. The one who stayed with HD told the other cop that HD couldn't believe that they wouldn't arrest me for stealing his pot. They both laughed and then drove away.
Then, I went to bed, woke up and watched the Bears win. It was a swell weekend.
...I no longer have a boyfriend that I don't like. I had to get rid of him because he annoyed my father.
My father didn't like the nature of the phone calls, one of which Dad overheard. We both answered the phone at the same time and only I spoke, not aware that Dear Old Dad was on the other line. Then Hoveround Dude started asking me for sex and offering me one tantalizing tidbit after another. I kept trying to hang up the phone and then leave it off the hook but I couldn't hang up on him because there was another phone in the house that was off the hook. So, Dad got to hear Hoveround Dude making more offers than usual, because I couldn't hang up the stupid phone.
The next day, when the phone rang, my father told HD not to call here anymore. That freaked out HD and he decided to get back at ME...so he called the cops and said that...now read this clearly so you fully understand the ramifications of what he did...he reported me for "stealing his pot". Of course, I didn't do that. He had given me a roach which I had emptied into a bowl. My father asked me if I had anything that he had given me and I, being an honest person, had to tell my father the truth.
"Yes, dad, I have some weed."
He told me to flush it down the toilet and I said that I could, but I didn't know the Florida laws regarding paraphernalia. So, my father said that he would get rid of the bowl. But, he wasn't going to leave for a little bit so I asked him if I could just smoke the rest of the shit instead of flushing it. He didn't mind.
So, now Dad has to take the bowl and dump it in the drink. I recognized the situation as a caper and told my father what a cool caper it was. Although the humor wasn't as obvious to my father as it was to me, he did handle it well.
Soon the cops came to the door and wanted back the cell phone HD gave me when Dad told him to stop calling the house phone. I gave it back and then went to my room and opened the window to hear what the cops were doing. There were two of them out there, one who had come to speak to me and one who stayed with HD. The one who stayed with HD told the other cop that HD couldn't believe that they wouldn't arrest me for stealing his pot. They both laughed and then drove away.
Then, I went to bed, woke up and watched the Bears win. It was a swell weekend.
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:32 AM
1 Comments:
If the picture of the old bald guy with a rather hellacious gut sitting by the pool was HD guy all I could think was, "Oh, Meg. NOT AGAIN?!"
TW
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