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Friday, May 11, 2012

I Can Do That!

Today's news announced another one of those stupid studies that found that waitresses who wore red lipstick "earned" more tips than those who did not. And all this time I was tipping the servers who did a good job. I didn't even notice their make-up. My bad.

I assume the servers in question were women so that makes me wonder, what does a server dude have to do to get bigger tips? I guess we should ask John Travolta.

Next news story...Romney was a bully? What a rotten time in our social history for an ex-bully to be running for President.

OK...and now for something completely different:

""The Donald," host of the hit television show The Apprentice, also admits to having "borderline" obsessive-compulsive disorder that causes him to fear germs. He reports that he will not shake hands with people, especially teachers, whom he says have "17,000 germs per square inch on their desks."
His phobia also prevents him from touching the ground floor button on elevators."
I appeal to the entire planet's population to be sure to lick your fingers and touch the buttons above ground level and do it for Trump. 

In closing, I didn't know that some relative of a murder victim could "forgive" a killer and let him go free. A drunk driver was set free because the wife of the man he killed wanted to "feel better about herself". I don't give a shit what he self-esteem issues are, that bitch will be responsible if the drunk kills another person. The reporters called it "an amazing display of kindness". I call it a despicable display of stupidity and an absolute disgrace to the judicial system. 

Does anyone out there think this lady has the right to see to it that this man goes free? If she does, do people less "compassionate" than she get to INCREASE a punishment to a higher level?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Huh. Where I live the women wearing red lipstick have to be careful not to get it on the hair growing above and below their lips. Gives "preventing lipstick bleed" a whole new challenge, but who cares anyway at 2AM when the bars close.
Don't worry about Romney-he's not running anywhere. They locked him in a room with Rumsfeld and it ended up in a TKO. Now they're BOTH "Pump Heads."
The Donald has managed to consistently offend everyone. His personal chefs spit in his food and the red-lipsticked waiters smile every time he takes a bite. Bon Appetite, Donny!
The wife and the drunk driver were having an affair which was temporarily suspended when he was incarcerated-aka "Coitus Interruptus." She got the life insurance and they're getting married in Vegas if his Parole Officer allows him to leave the County-or even if the PO doesn't since it's just a minor technicality.
Since DWIs resulting in deaths and dismemberments are so ubiquitous where I live the only ones left are old people with 3 or fewer limbs....Who lament the good old days when vehicles were made in the US of materials other than plastic and fiberglass and everyone stood a fair chance in the ensuing Demolition Derbies. The "Brain Drain" is on the upper end of the autopsy table. Generally, there isn't much left to drain in any event; consequently that woman and her soon-to-be hubby would fit right in with the locals.


May 11, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

You are my new best humor friend. How I wish we could go out and insult people.

May 11, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm really not looking to insult anyone, just do what I spent years and an obscene amount of money to achieve (and that was with a ton of grants and scholarships) which is observe human behavior.
Which is STILL endlessly fascinating to me. And no, I'm not exempt from all kinds of sheer stupidity, embarrassing "situations" and the outrageous stuff that just happens in life. Not to mention some truly brain damaged choices for which I am totally responsible. I'm absolutely an equal-opportunity screw up so I don't exempt myself with a "Get Out Of Jail Free" Card either!

May 13, 2012  

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