OK, here's a few ))))))))))))) and a ;) How's that? More importantly, thanks for writing. You worry me. Wait, that doesn't sound right-redo: Your PHYSICAL HEALTH leaves me feeling worried when you're not posting for awhile because it's not fun when you're not here and yes, I know that's selfish as hell when you're in the hospital in a crappy bed with a crappy room mate who has a family the size of the whole first chapter of Genesis and they all come to visit all the time because visiting hrs. don't "apply" to them and they troop past your bed and look behind the privacy-cutains-that-aren't and blast the TV because they can't HEAR it even if everyone ELSE in the building can. But I hope it's the same place where you were treated like a human being instead of a poop pan. Get well ASAP. Thanks for the update. TW
For some reason, the laptop that the hospital is letting me use does everythng I need except allow me to compose a new post. So, I have to write in the comments section for now.
I had an epiphany this morning that I wanted to share with you. I've once again allowed myself to get into an abusive situation. In addition to that, people have been spreading hideous lies about me. My epiphany is that the lies are as harmful as is the physical abuse and the people who are participating in the untrue gossip are as violent to me and my psyche as a gang of thugs who would jump me in an alley. So, to those of you who are spreading gossip about me, you are no better than a violent cretin. When my father threw a suitcase at my head from behind and then spread lies about me, he became both, a violent thug, literally and figuratively. (When I asked him if he did it on purpose, his response was, "If I had done it on purpose, you'd still be on the floor.") Also, I find it fascinating that some of the people talking about me behind my back KNOW that I have the goods on them. My own father is spreading bullshit when he has told me things about his daughter in law. She weighs close to 300 pounds and my father cannot abide heavy people. I am privy to his threats to her yet he chooses to blab his crap to anyone who will listen. I have a sister who has lied about me in some of the most hideous ways yet she knows that I have old emails that would trash her relationship. A woman who never made it a secret(from me) that she was prostituting has betrayed me as though she was some angel from heaven. Obvious proof that a woman has allowed a man to raise her daughter as his own(he is not)is available in two sentences. A man who sold his sperm to a friend of mine in the 80's is treating me as though he trusts that I will keep that secret for another 3 decades. When I started this blog, I had been left with nothing left to lose so I had no problem telling the world what my ex had done. I realize that my family NEEDS me to be the family scapegoat and I didn't even mind playing the part to some extent. But this time, it's gone too far. The tidbits I've just mnentioned are just that, tidbits. I have a treasure trove of information that I am not afraid to put out there. All I ever wanted was for someone in my family to act like I was in the family, not the trash bag of the family. That would have been easy but my family needs their scapegoat far too much to be bright enough to call or visit me in the hospital. They need me to play my part so badly that they couldn't even choose a btter time to abuse me, physically, psychologically and mentally. Dad, I never realized how much you enjoyed inflicting pain on me.
Good to hear from you, at least you're still breathing. Meg, You've survived war, famine, pestilence and you'll survive this too. Just get well physically first and then take on the rest of the world, OK? I don't know when you're getting out of the hospital but please don't go back to where the idiot is, OK? No, you are NOT a trash receptacle or a sperm bank. If you need help, ask the Medical Social Worker to hook you up with a new place/movers/RO, what ever you need. That's what they DO and for a change, let someone else do the heavy lifting-you can't be everything to everybody nor should you be. I've never seen a hearse pullin' a U-Haul and stuff is just that. Get yourself well, please. The rest will come in time. I'm NOT minimizing your pain or fear, just trying to prioritize and if you're dead, none of it matters anyway. Get well soon. Sending a bunch of those ")))))))" thingys. TW
To my "family"...the last comment is exactly what I've needed for years. That's easy enough, just some kind words and a bit of "you're worth it". I guess that was tough for you so I thank my buddy TW for giving me all I needed. And to you, TW, I'm doing exactly what you said. Thank you so much for saying it.
I just found out that my sister is telling people that I'm "faking" my aneurysm. Neurosurgeons always operate on fake aneurysms, don't they? I just had surgery two weeks ago. My own sister! She never should have sent me so many emails admitting to things that would do what she's doing to me, end every relationship that matters.
I hope it's truly an angel ;) Yep, they operate on faux aneurysms all the time with ghostly facsimiles of neurosurgerical instruments wielded by the late Marcus Welby, MD. Unfortunately, the headaches/nausea/vomiting etc. are all too real, all too scary and so are the blood thinners/levels and trying to figure out why this keeps happening. It's great fun walking around with a partially shaved scalp and multiple "views" of your head in cross-sections. So I'll tell the "disbelievers" this: When you start bleeding on the inside and no one can see it on the outside, we'll just decide you made it up. And wait and see what happens. If YOU can't "see" it with the nekkid eye, it's not real. Consequently, neither are microbes, so you might as well go for a swim in your septic tank: As long as you don't stand on the squishy stuff on the bottom the rest is just "water." Fuckin' idiots. TW
9 Comments:
OK, here's a few ))))))))))))) and a ;) How's that?
More importantly, thanks for writing. You worry me. Wait, that doesn't sound right-redo: Your PHYSICAL HEALTH leaves me feeling worried when you're not posting for awhile because it's not fun when you're not here and yes, I know that's selfish as hell when you're in the hospital in a crappy bed with a crappy room mate who has a family the size of the whole first chapter of Genesis and they all come to visit all the time because visiting hrs. don't "apply" to them and they troop past your bed and look behind the privacy-cutains-that-aren't and blast the TV because they can't HEAR it even if everyone ELSE in the building can.
But I hope it's the same place where you were treated like a human being instead of a poop pan.
Get well ASAP.
Thanks for the update.
TW
Smiles and good vibes headed your way by the boatload!
Kyle from Knoxvile
Missed you. :>)
For some reason, the laptop that the hospital is letting me use does everythng I need except allow me to compose a new post. So, I have to write in the comments section for now.
I had an epiphany this morning that I wanted to share with you. I've once again allowed myself to get into an abusive situation. In addition to that, people have been spreading hideous lies about me. My epiphany is that the lies are as harmful as is the physical abuse and the people who are participating in the untrue gossip are as violent to me and my psyche as a gang of thugs who would jump me in an alley. So, to those of you who are spreading gossip about me, you are no better than a violent cretin. When my father threw a suitcase at my head from behind and then spread lies about me, he became both, a violent thug, literally and figuratively. (When I asked him if he did it on purpose, his response was, "If I had done it on purpose, you'd still be on the floor.")
Also, I find it fascinating that some of the people talking about me behind my back KNOW that I have the goods on them. My own father is spreading bullshit when he has told me things about his daughter in law. She weighs close to 300 pounds and my father cannot abide heavy people. I am privy to his threats to her yet he chooses to blab his crap to anyone who will listen. I have a sister who has lied about me in some of the most hideous ways yet she knows that I have old emails that would trash her relationship. A woman who never made it a secret(from me) that she was prostituting has betrayed me as though she was some angel from heaven. Obvious proof that a woman has allowed a man to raise her daughter as his own(he is not)is available in two sentences.
A man who sold his sperm to a friend of mine in the 80's is treating me as though he trusts that I will keep that secret for another 3 decades.
When I started this blog, I had been left with nothing left to lose so I had no problem telling the world what my ex had done. I realize that my family NEEDS me to be the family scapegoat and I didn't even mind playing the part to some extent. But this time, it's gone too far. The tidbits I've just mnentioned are just that, tidbits. I have a treasure trove of information that I am not afraid to put out there.
All I ever wanted was for someone in my family to act like I was in the family, not the trash bag of the family. That would have been easy but my family needs their scapegoat far too much to be bright enough to call or visit me in the hospital. They need me to play my part so badly that they couldn't even choose a btter time to abuse me, physically, psychologically and mentally.
Dad, I never realized how much you enjoyed inflicting pain on me.
More to follow.
Good to hear from you, at least you're still breathing.
Meg, You've survived war, famine, pestilence and you'll survive this too. Just get well physically first and then take on the rest of the world, OK? I don't know when you're getting out of the hospital but please don't go back to where the idiot is, OK? No, you are NOT a trash receptacle or a sperm bank. If you need help, ask the Medical Social Worker to hook you up with a new place/movers/RO, what ever you need. That's what they DO and for a change, let someone else do the heavy lifting-you can't be everything to everybody nor should you be.
I've never seen a hearse pullin' a U-Haul and stuff is just that. Get yourself well, please. The rest will come in time. I'm NOT minimizing your pain or fear, just trying to prioritize and if you're dead, none of it matters anyway.
Get well soon. Sending a bunch of those ")))))))" thingys.
TW
To my "family"...the last comment is exactly what I've needed for years. That's easy enough, just some kind words and a bit of "you're worth it". I guess that was tough for you so I thank my buddy TW for giving me all I needed. And to you, TW, I'm doing exactly what you said. Thank you so much for saying it.
))))))
I just found out that my sister is telling people that I'm "faking" my aneurysm. Neurosurgeons always operate on fake aneurysms, don't they? I just had surgery two weeks ago. My own sister!
She never should have sent me so many emails admitting to things that would do what she's doing to me, end every relationship that matters.
ONE DOWN.
An angel just popped down to help me...out of nowhere.
))))
I hope it's truly an angel ;)
Yep, they operate on faux aneurysms all the time with ghostly facsimiles of neurosurgerical instruments wielded by the late Marcus Welby, MD. Unfortunately, the headaches/nausea/vomiting etc. are all too real, all too scary and so are the blood thinners/levels and trying to figure out why this keeps happening. It's great fun walking around with a partially shaved scalp and multiple "views" of your head in cross-sections.
So I'll tell the "disbelievers" this: When you start bleeding on the inside and no one can see it on the outside, we'll just decide you made it up. And wait and see what happens. If YOU can't "see" it with the nekkid eye, it's not real. Consequently, neither are microbes, so you might as well go for a swim in your septic tank: As long as you don't stand on the squishy stuff on the bottom the rest is just "water."
Fuckin' idiots.
TW
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