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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

On My Laziest Computer Days...

...I manage to, at the very least, catch up on my Words With Friends games. So much stupid stuff has been happening that I don't seem to be able to put my life back on any schedule...and I  was just getting settled into one of those life schedules when I was smacked with my last health concern...and now it's even harder to get back on track.  So, my Words games are suffering as is, obviously, my blog. I really enjoy playing Words and this blog is very important to me and when they suffer, it's because, in some way, I am suffering too.

One day back in '05 or '06 my son wanted something from me. It was something boring like the ironing board. I happened to be writing something for the blog and whatever it was that he had asked, my answer wasn't good  enough for him so he struck out verbally, like only a kid can, and said, "All you care about is that stupid blog!!!"

Now, at that time, I was pushing 50 and my son was pushing 30. Any responsibility that I had regarding his personal business, had long ago evaporated. I owed him what I owe you, the respect you give another human being.

I adore my children, I'm very proud of them and I stare, in awe, at these wonderful young adults that I made. But I also like myself and I'm a relatively bright woman so when my wonderful son made that manipulative comment, I owed him a straight up retort. I responded thusly:

"So what if it is?"

That shut his mouth quickly and firmly. I could have worshiped at his feet to prove that he was wrong and that I did, indeed, care more about him than I did my blog but his assertion was just so stupid that I wouldn't even address it. He made the comment with the intent of manipulating me into getting away from my desk and helping him in his search for whatever he wanted that day. All he got was a jaw dropper.

At that time, the blog was more than fun, it's was totally cathartic. Anyone who's read this thing in the beginning knows that. I would wake up, brush my teeth, get a cuppa, feed my animals and sit at my desk, every single morning. I needed this thing back then. Now I  just like it and enjoy it.

So, this morning I woke up thinking about my first husband, the one who died. I don't know why I had him on my mind, I rarely do. But on my mind he was. I have to give it to him, between my son and John's younger kids, they're all really great kids. I don't know where that comes from and I can't get this morning's thought out of my mind...it's like having a song stuck in your  head. Once I had 'Blinded by the Light' stuck in my head and the only way I  could get it out of my mind was to replace it. So...like an idiot, I went with the first song that came into my mind...'Down in the Boondocks'. Today I'm choosing something cool to think about...I think I'll mentally design the homes that I'll build after I win the lottery. These are nice houses, I'll have to wait for one of those quarter billion dollar jackpots.

Well, it's actually pouring down rain outside and totally ruining any thoughts of a nice, sunny day in Florida. The atmosphere is the same as an overcast fall Sunday when I was a kid. We'd watch whatever movie was on Family Classics and then we'd all read our own piece of the paper...I would get the comics. Today I'll spend the day with the remote.

Somebody talk to me...give me an idea of something to talk about...my own life is too boring right now.

:):):)



3 Comments:

Blogger Jessie said...

you know what? yeah, so what if it is? blogs are good for us.

July 18, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Zactly.

July 18, 2012  
Blogger q1605 said...

Pornhub.com?

July 18, 2012  

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