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Hi. I'm trying to think of another description to put here. Any ideas? I'll try again at 420.

Friday, July 12, 2013

And then....

All right. I haven't meant to be so vague but I'm in a multi-dimensional transition and it's sapping my time badly. I spend more time trying to accomplish something than I spend doing it. For example, to make a 8:00 AM appointment this morning, I had to wake up at 4. I was still awake at midnight so it wasn't easy but neither is standing at a bus stop before dawn.

So one of the things that I had planned on doing was to get myself on methadone so I didn't have to worry about feeling badly AND, methadone does help pain so it seemed easier to get myself on that than it would be to logistically accomplish a pain control doctor. If I'm to have the energy and stamina to accomplish everything that's REALLY important, I can't be spending my time working out the logistics of obtaining pain medications. Anyway, today I went to deal with that and part of it all was a urine drug screen that was, naturally, positive for xanax. I have no problem with xanax, pain pills DO present a problem.

That was a huge problem. Apparently, you can't take xanax AND methadone. I've taken xanax for so long that they wanted me to go into benzo detox for 2 days before they'd give me the methadone. I need the xanax, I never intended to stop taking them. Anyway, I left that place dejectedly...quite convinced that everything I try blows up in my face. I eventually decided to worry about all of that stuff later because I just don't have the resources to deal with it now. I still think that it's RIDICULOUS to disallow methadone treatment to people with anxiety...but I'm trying to deal with it because I have to. I'm fine now but I was quite a wreck when I left that place today.

So...to assuage the curiosity of many of you, I'll tell you that my next big step is to head west. I'm going to Los Angeles this Wednesday. After giving it some thought, I decided that I can afford to maintain this lifestyle in any city of our country and I really, really miss my daughter and her son. Ever since I saw them last time, I've really wanted to go back and see them again. Heck...I didn't want to leave them in the first place. It seemed so fricking wrong at the time...I should have known better.

So now I'm fixing that problem!


Blogger q1605 said...

Telling us you're in a multi dimensional transition really clears things up for me. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHa

July 13, 2013  

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